how do i deal with domestic abuse

The UK has some of the best systems in dealing with male victims of domestic violence. They have shelters for male victims and their children.

Call for help.

Your wife has harmed you and abused you. Your children are in the house and you are injured.

This can come later.

Call for help.

 

You don't need to disturb their sleep.

Call for help.

Call a family member or friend and have them come over, make sure you are okay.

You may also be concussed and/or bleeding internally into your brain. If there are lumps on your head and you are injured, you need to get yourself to a hospital or call a doctor.

There is no exact science behind why people abuse. It could be what they have experienced while growing up or they have observed a parent abusing the other parent while growing up. It could be a range of psychological reasons.

 

How do you know?

Sometimes even a small knock to the head is enough to cause serious brain injury and if it is on or near your temple and it was hard enough to result in a lump, then you need to have it seen to, sooner rather than later.

Are you a doctor?

That is not the case.

And yet you have been provided with several phone numbers and help lines and websites that tell you otherwise.

It seems to me as though you do not want to call anyone for help. Perhaps you feel embarrassed or ashamed, and your attempts to tell us that you are strong and skilled enough and capable of 'kicking her head in' but chose not to kind of points to feeling embarrassed and ashamed because your wife beat you.. These are normal feelings and they happen in all victims of domestic violence at one point or another, regardless of the sex of the victim or perpetrator.

There is nothing to be ashamed of.

However, what is terrible is hiding behind this excuse that you are currently hiding behind. Your children deserve better. Most importantly, your children deserve to grow up in a safe environment that is violence free and you can provide that by reporting her. So far, your refusal to seek help is not keeping your children safe. It is keeping them in a dangerous and abusive environment.

You do have rights. Exercise them for yourself and for your children.

Perhaps you should start exercising them instead of hiding behind your belief that you do not have them.

If you wish to really protect your children, then report her to the police, get some counselling for yourself, your children and your wife.

While you may think your children are asleep and do not know, they do know. Children brought up in abusive households where one parent abuses the other always know. They will know it from the bruises and the bumps on your head, to knowing and understanding the feelings of tension and general unhappiness between their parents. And those children often grow up to abuse themselves because they believe this behaviour is normal and/or acceptable. Psychological damage to children who grow up in households such as yours can be pretty bad for children and they will carry those scars into adulthood.

She may be the mother of your children, but she is also a danger to you and therefore, to them also.

 

Neither of these things is true.

 

Before people here start jumping to conclusions, bear in mind that we've only had theorist-constant's side of the story. We don't know whether he is being regularly abused by his wife or whether this was a one-off argument that got out of hand. We don't know the history. We don't know the details of what led to this.

While I do not endorse anybody physically hurting anybody else, I also appreciate that relationships can be very complex, and it's far too easy for outsiders to make snap judgments when they've only heard one party's side of the story.

If theorist-constant is truly a wronged innocent party in this, then I join the chorus urging him to seek outside help to deal with the matter and avoid any further violent confrontations. But it seems to me that he is reticent to contact outsiders about this. There could be any number of reasons for that, and none of us know what they are.