how do i deal with domestic abuse

Discussion in 'Ethics, Morality, & Justice' started by theorist-constant12345, Mar 2, 2015.

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  1. theorist-constant12345

    theorist-constant12345 Banned Banned

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    I am presently in tears, I have several lumps around my face, how do I deal with being a victim and will not hit back because it is a women ?
     
    theorist-constant12345, Mar 2, 2015
    #1

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  3. Daecon

    Daecon Kiwi fruit Valued Senior Member

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    Leave. Call the police.
     
    Daecon, Mar 2, 2015
    #2

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  5. billvon

    billvon Valued Senior Member

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    Call 800-799-SAFE (7233.) It is the HHS hotline for domestic abuse. They will be able to give you information about shelters in your area, programs that can help you, places you can obtain counseling etc.

    If you're injured or at risk of being injured call 911.

    It is very important to start talking to real people (not Internet boards) about this. They will be able to give you much better help than we can, and will allow them to start building a file. That file will be critical in the future if this gets to a courtroom.
     
    billvon, Mar 2, 2015
    #3
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  7. theorist-constant12345

    theorist-constant12345 Banned Banned

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    I am in the uk, men get no protection or rights over there children..
     
    theorist-constant12345, Mar 2, 2015
    #4
  8. cosmictraveler

    cosmictraveler Be kind to yourself always. Valued Senior Member

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    Leave your house right away to a friend or relatives home. Then call the police and make a report. You can then file a restraining order and have her removed from your house until you both go to court.
     
    cosmictraveler, Mar 2, 2015
    #5
  9. billvon

    billvon Valued Senior Member

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    Then try 0808 801 0327 - that's a hotline for male victims of domestic violence in the UK. You can also try 0844 8044 999 - that is the hotline for the National Centre for Domestic Violence.

    Again, if the threat is still there call the police; if you are injured go to a hospital.
     
    billvon, Mar 2, 2015
    #6
  10. billvon

    billvon Valued Senior Member

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    Her, not him.
     
    billvon, Mar 2, 2015
    #7
  11. cosmictraveler

    cosmictraveler Be kind to yourself always. Valued Senior Member

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    Thank you for setting me straight.
     
    cosmictraveler, Mar 2, 2015
    #8
  12. theorist-constant12345

    theorist-constant12345 Banned Banned

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    Not in the Uk it does not work that way
     
    theorist-constant12345, Mar 2, 2015
    #9
  13. theorist-constant12345

    theorist-constant12345 Banned Banned

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    I am injured but she has gone bed, and believe me if the police came they would ask me to leave and leave my kids ere
     
    theorist-constant12345, Mar 2, 2015
    #10
  14. Daecon

    Daecon Kiwi fruit Valued Senior Member

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    How do you know this? Have you called the police to report the assault?
     
    Daecon, Mar 2, 2015
    #11
  15. Fraggle Rocker

    Fraggle Rocker Staff Member

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    We have the same problem in the USA. Many people do not believe that a man can be abused by his wife/partner. After all, men are so strong! They don't understand that two whole generations of American men have been raised to instinctively believe that it is never permissible to hit a women, not for any reason, not even in self-defense.

    On one of the popular TV talk shows, a man was the guest that day. He said that his wife had been punching him and harming him physically in other ways. He went to a support group for abused spouses, and all of the other members were women. I wouldn't exactly say that none of them believed him (although many did indeed think he was lying), but they thought he was a pussy for not being able to defend himself. Ultimately they were so hostile that he was unable to remain in the group.

    Have you ever observed what a woman can do with a frying pan???
     
    Fraggle Rocker, Mar 2, 2015
    #12
  16. Bells

    Bells Staff Member

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    Firstly, call the police as quickly as possible. If you are in immediate danger, then you need to call 999.

    If she is in the house and the children are in the house and you are injured, call 999.

    Secondly, the UK have a range of help available for male victims of domestic violence. They may also be able to put you in contact with shelters for male victims of domestic violence. Please utilise these services.

    For example, you can check out www.mankind.org.uk. They have a helpline and you can email them or text them for help and advice. Their phone number is 01823 334244.

    There is also Men's Advice Line. Freecall from landlines and most mobile phone carriers: 0808 801 0327. Email: info@mensadviceline.org.uk

    If you need legal advice for domestic violence, you can also start here: Civil Legal Advice Helpline: 0345 345 4 345 - They can provide you with legal aid or advice to protect yourself and your property from the abuser.
     
    Bells, Mar 2, 2015
    #13
  17. billvon

    billvon Valued Senior Member

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    Those numbers are not police numbers. Again, if you are injured, go to a hospital.

    You have a decision to make. If you are OK with the abuse continuing, and potentially getting worse, then do nothing. (Other than post on the Internet of course.) You may well end up seriously injured and in jail at the end of the process, losing your children and everything you own.

    If you want it to end, then use the resources that you have available to you to start bringing it to an end. You don't have to know how to stop it yourself - that's why there are hotlines, support groups and lawyers who specialized in abuse cases.
     
    billvon, Mar 2, 2015
    #14
  18. theorist-constant12345

    theorist-constant12345 Banned Banned

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    I know this from my brothers recent experience,he has just got a 6 month order to not see his kids for doing nothing, his ex wants full order and apart from a few childish words, my bro did nothing.

    I do not understand the human science involved wat makes women tick?
     
    theorist-constant12345, Mar 2, 2015
    #15
  19. theorist-constant12345

    theorist-constant12345 Banned Banned

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    Several hits and a few lumps off a women and in the Uk, i smart enough to not hit back or defend and know the police and courts laugh at you, it does not matter that I do not just kick her head in, which in knowing a bit of boxing and martial arts I can easily do so, it is the laws that favour women and kids in the UK.
    I would get banged up for defending myself because she is a women.

    Also I have no wish to hit the mother of my kids.

    Why do women do this, what si the science?
     
    theorist-constant12345, Mar 2, 2015
    #16
  20. Bells

    Bells Staff Member

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    You need to call someone for help, especially if you are injured. Even more so if your children are in the house and she is still in the house.

    You need to report this.

    If you do not, then you are risking her doing this again or causing yourself and/or your children further injuries. Someone who is violent like this needs to be reported to the police.
     
    Bells, Mar 2, 2015
    #17
  21. Bells

    Bells Staff Member

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    24,270
    The same reason that men abuse.

    Power, dominance, control and a variety of other reasons.

    You'll have to excuse me, but I am finding it strange that instead of calling for help, or even calling your family or friends for help at this point, you are on here wanting to discuss the science behind why women abuse...

    Your children are in the house and you are injured. Please, call someone for help.
     
    Bells, Mar 2, 2015
    #18
  22. billvon

    billvon Valued Senior Member

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    That's admirable. Again, if you want it to continue or get worse, post on the Internet. If you want it to stop, take action.
    Over 4000 women were sentenced for domestic violence in the UK between 2008 and 2009.
    There is no logical answer to that. Some people do it. They tend to continue until you stop them. Do you want to stop them? Your choice.
     
    billvon, Mar 2, 2015
    #19
  23. Daecon

    Daecon Kiwi fruit Valued Senior Member

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    If you stay and allow your children to stay, you're an idiot.

    Leave. Report it.

    Get professional help and advice, the sooner the better.
     
    Daecon, Mar 2, 2015
    #20
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