There is nothing good about me or my life

Summary: All our own personal created meanings, our values and worths, and even our own morals (such as the ones you have) are all neutral. Thoughts are just thoughts no matter what they are. You can come up with a bland thought in your mind and you can then proceed to come up with a moral thought. But they are no different. They are only different in the sense that they are different words, images, sounds, etc. and that is it. They might send signals to different parts of the brain to make you do different deeds. But even those other parts of your brain are neutral as well. Your thoughts (created meanings of good and bad) cannot somehow project themselves onto other people, other objects, or even other parts of your brain and make these things good or bad. Therefore, since pleasure stands alone by itself as always feeling good no matter what while pain and despair stand alone by themselves as always feeling bad no matter what, this is the reason why pleasure is the only good thing in life while pain and despair are the only bad things in life. As I said before, good and bad are, therefore, scientific properties for this very reason. They are the functioning of those atoms and particles in our brains that give us pleasure as well as pain and despair and even our own neutral thoughts of good and bad cannot somehow project themselves onto our pleasure and suffering and make these things good, bad, or even neutral.

So you would be delusional to think that your life is good or bad or that you are a good or bad person without feelings of pleasure or pain and/or despair since good and bad are actual scientific properties and your personal created meanings in life (your thoughts) can never be these scientific properties. As I said before, "good" is a scientific property (which would be the pleasure itself). Same thing for "bad" while all our thoughts remain a different scientific property (a neutral scientific property that is neither good or bad such as the functioning of the atoms and particles in objects and other things). So you might then be asking how it is that people with anhedonia (which is an absence or very little pleasure) find good meaning about themselves and their lives anyway. This would be because their minds trick them into thinking that they as human beings and that their lives are somehow good. They are tricked by thoughts alone when, in reality, these thoughts are all neutral anyway (neither good or bad). So these people would be delusional to somehow think that they as human beings and that their lives are somehow good anyway without their pleasure.

I realize that it is in our evolutionary design to view other things in life besides our pleasure and suffering as being good or bad in life. But even our own evolutionary design (and, again, our created meanings through our thoughts) are all neutral. Also, I do still help and value others anyway. I can live my life valuing the pleasure of others. But all thoughts and personal meanings we create in life are all neutral. Therefore, even my own value towards the pleasure of others is neutral even if I were to tell myself the message such as that "At least I have given others pleasure because it is good for them despite my own absence of pleasure." I am not in the minds of those other people and cannot experience their pleasure. Therefore, it is only my own pleasure that is good. Even if it were pleasure that is obtained from either witnessing others experiencing pleasure or even me obtaining pleasure from harming others, it would still be my own experienced pleasure that is good from my own perspective while the pleasure and suffering of others is only good and bad from their own perspectives. Even if I were somehow a psychopath right now who obtains pleasure from harming others, I would still be a good person since my own pleasure is the only thing that defines me and my life as being good. They also cannot define anything else as being good, bad, or neutral either since they are the separate combined functioning of atoms and particles that have different functions and different properties.

Also, since all atoms and particles are separate from the atoms and particles of our pleasure, then to say that harming someone in order to give you pleasure makes your pleasure bad, this would be false because the combined atoms and particles of the person suffering and other things do not have the same properties of the combined atoms and particles as a whole that make up our pleasure. It would be no different than saying that, since the combined atoms and particles of a piece of metal possess a certain function and properties (which, in this case, we would call "bad"), then that also makes the combined atoms and particles of other materials the same as well (that this also makes them "bad") which is false. Concepts such as good and bad (aside from our experience of pleasure, pain, and despair), these are the subjective thoughts themselves that create these concepts in the brain and are the functioning of the neurons and other things themselves responsible for the creation of these concepts in the brain that do have scientific properties. And, of course, they are also experiences in of themselves that are objectively good and bad and also have scientific properties (which would be the functioning of the neurons and other things that give us pleasure, pain, and despair). Therefore, our thoughts cannot define our pleasure as being something bad or neutral or our pain and despair as being neutral or good. They also cannot define anything else as being good, bad, or neutral either since they are the separate combined functioning of atoms and particles that have different functions and different properties.

Now someone might tell me something such as that I am a good or bad person and the sound waves from that message that person spoke would then enter my brain. However, it is still my own interpretation that determines whether I am a good or bad person. Actually, as I just stated before, all those interpretations and messages are all neutral anyway and it would only be my own pleasure that makes me and my life good. Therefore, how good one is (their level of greatness) and how good one's life is solely depends on the level of pleasure they have in life. Also, since pleasure always feels good in of itself no matter what while pain and despair always feel bad in of themselves no matter what and this is something that can never change while our thoughts (perceptions) of good and bad in life can change, this would also mean that our perceptions in life are neither good or bad. Some people might claim that suffering feels good to him/her. But he/she would be lying. It would only be the pleasure itself that is obtained from his/her suffering that feels good to him/her while the suffering stands alone by itself as always feeling bad.

Even our own actions are neutral as well and they are the result of atoms and particles. Our thoughts of good and bad cannot even project themselves onto our own actions and make them good or bad either. As for a question one might ask such as that if good and bad are nothing more than one's own pleasure and suffering, then why is it that we can even perceive other things in life as being good or bad in the first place and why is it that there are other things in life that are good and bad besides pleasure and suffering? The answer to that would be that we are just designed by evolution to benefit our survival by perceiving other things in life as being good or bad when, in fact, all our thoughts of good and bad are still nothing more than just thoughts anyway including even our own evolutionary design being neutral as well. Even if we perceive our own thoughts as being good or bad, even that perception itself is still nothing but a neutral perception. However, this neutral perception would then send emotional signals to our brain which are either emotions that feel good or bad. Therefore, it's only our own emotions that are good and bad as well as pain itself being bad as well. All other things in life besides our own pleasure and suffering are also nothing but neutral (neither good or bad) atoms and particles as well.

So you might then say something to me such as that "It's still not about your own neutral thoughts and your own pleasure and suffering in life. You can still live a good life through valuing the pleasure of others and giving them pleasure." What I would have to say to that message is that even that quoted message itself is just a neutral thought as well that doesn't make our lives good without our pleasure.

Now some might say that there is no grand purpose in this universe in that we must all live good worthwhile lives and all that is necessary to live is to eat, breathe, etc. and that I should, therefore, be just fine living a life of no pleasure. But my personal experience of pleasure was so profound and meaningful to me that there would absolutely be no way for me to be fine and content living such a life since my personal experience of pleasure (which would be all good feelings including love) tells me that it is the only greatest thing about me as a person and my life. My personal experience now of depression and anhedonia (emotional numbness) which I'm about to explain below is also the worst experience for me and this is yet another reason why I will never be fine and content living a life of little to no pleasure no matter what. Also, the reward system is a very vital part of living (our evolutionary design). Therefore, this is also another reason why many people will never be fine and content living a life with little to no pleasure just like me no matter what.

(Note to Reader: This post is continued below)!

 

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In conclusion, I would like to say, again, that I have depression and severe chronic anhedonia (emotional numbness) in which I have no brief moments of any pleasure to any degree whatsoever and there is nothing good or worthwhile about me or my life anymore. If I choose to do things in my life anyway, I will feel enraged due to the fact that none of these things are actually good in my life and that will make me feel even more enraged towards my loss (absence) of pleasure. Therefore, I will instead let me, my life, and all my dreams waste away because at least that makes me feel less enraged and less depressed towards myself and my life. My anhedonia has lasted all day everyday for many months now and I don't think it will get any better. I am also an atheist and this makes me feel even more enraged since I am unable to experience pleasure both in this life as well as in an eternal life of joy which would be heaven (which I now know is a false promised afterlife).

 

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Have you tried masturbation?

 

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Have you tried antidepressants?

 

What about MDMA? Might be worth looking into.

 

I am already on antidepressants and they are not working. But since I made this topic in the philosophical section, this means that I wish to instead argue and debate about everything I've said in this topic rather than talk about treatments and other such things.

 

Then you need treatment for your depression. Are you under medical care? If not, get it, quick. But this explains your peculiar posting style, which is going to put a lot of people off. Once it's treated you should be able to interact more normally.

Depression is a very common condition - a lot more common than most people realise, but can be serious. My father suffered with it for years. He got to the stage of imagining policemen in the attic - a terrible strain for his wife. There are very good medications nowadays.

 

You have told how you feel... what is ther to argue/debate about.???

 

Many people think that our thoughts (created meanings) do make our lives good and even greater than our pleasure, that there are good and greater things in life than our pleasure, and that the pleasure and suffering of others is not neutral from their perspectives. This is what I wish to debate about. I have made a full-proof argument supporting my reasons in a convincing way and I wish for you to debate against them so that I do be convinced that me and my life is somehow good and that there are other good and greater things in my life than my pleasure.

 

good and bad are dichotomous sides of the same coin
toss it and pray it lands on it's edge

There is freedom and meaning in getting lost in the moment.
wei wu wei
By focusing one's attention outside of one's self, the self heals, or at least ceases expressing discomfort.
Continuation of that escape leads to pattern and the old boogeyman slowly fades away.
........................
Wee, sleeket, cowran, tim’rous beastie,
O, what a panic’s in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty,
Wi’ bickerin brattle!
I wad be laith to rin an’ chase thee
Wi’ murd’ring pattle!

I’m truly sorry Man’s dominion
Has broken Nature’s social union,
An’ justifies that ill opinion,
Which makes thee startle,
At me, thy poor, earth-born companion,
An’ fellow-mortal!

I doubt na, whyles, but thou may thieve;
What then? poor beastie, thou maun live!
A daimen-icker in a thrave
’S a sma’ request:
I’ll get a blessin wi’ the lave,
An’ never miss ’t!

Thy wee-bit housie, too, in ruin!
It’s silly wa’s the win’s are strewin!
An’ naething, now, to big a new ane,
O’ foggage green!
An’ bleak December’s winds ensuin,
Baith snell an’ keen!

Thou saw the fields laid bare an’ waste,
An’ weary Winter comin fast,
An’ cozie here, beneath the blast,
Thou thought to dwell,
Till crash! the cruel coulter past
Out thro’ thy cell.

That wee-bit heap o’ leaves an’ stibble
Has cost thee monie a weary nibble!
Now thou’s turn’d out, for a’ thy trouble,
But house or hald,
To thole the Winter’s sleety dribble,
An’ cranreuch cauld!

But Mousie, thou art no thy-lane,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best laid schemes o’ Mice an’ Men
Gang aft agley,
An’ lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain,
For promis’d joy!

(here comes the appropriate part)

Still, thou art blest, compar’d wi’ me!
The present only toucheth thee:
But Och! I backward cast my e’e,
On prospects drear!
An’ forward tho’ I canna see,
I guess an’ fear!

 

Your anhedonia and depression colors your whole philosophy of life. If you find no interest or value in anything, the world consequently becomes a stale wasteland without meaning. I know when I'm depressed I become a cynical and hypercritical misanthrope. That's not who I am. When I'm normal, (MY normal), I find interest and worth in many different things and simply go with the flow of experience. If your antidepressants aren't working you should try different ones. Each is different and has different results depending on the individual.

 

Thats right. Still it pays to pay attention to what your thinking just so that you dont run away with your self or tie yourself up in knots.

http://acc6.its.brooklyn.cuny.edu/~phalsall/texts/taote-v3.html#1
Thats a link to the complete Tao Te Ching. From the tone of your posts i think you might like it.

 

I guess its cause i agree wit you that i saw nuthin to debate.!!!

 

If pleasure made you happy then the happiest people in the world would be Crack addicts.
They experience more pleasure than anyone else.

 

It's kind of a roller coaster thing with addicts. I doubt they are very happy as a whole.

 

Speaking as a recovering addict, (coke, barbituates, synthetic opiates, speed and alcohol) it stops being fun real fast and after that its a living hell. I have been sober for over 20 years and believe me its nothing that most people who havent had the problem could even imagine.
Its a tortured, nightmarish grind of self loathing and sickness, relieved only intermittently by a haunted and somewhat frantic few hours or minutes of near normality. Repeat ad nauseum.
For many people, thats where chasing pleasure leads, to torture.

 

Your post reminded me of something. Don't take it like I'm advocating crack addiction.

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There is no difference between "real happiness" and "imagined happiness."

For example, the guy on the sidewalk that is sitting there by himself laughing his ass off about what he imagines in his mind is REAL HAPPINESS. It's not somehow less worthy than say having a good time at the movies, or golf course.

If you are happy in your mind then it's real happiness to you.

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Some people just ain't meant to be "happy".
Assuming that lack of unhappiness doesn't equate to "happiness".
Is ridding one's self of unhappiness adequate to the task at hand?

 

Some people are happy bein' unhappy. They actually thrive on being miserable and making other people miserable. They like it that way. It makes them happy!??

 

I have noticed that some people seem to need something for which to be afraid.
Then, they seem to want to share that fear with anyone foolish enough to listen.

Also, it seems that those who focus on being depressed are focusing on the wrong damned thing.