Nothing wrong with being a loner

Discussion in 'Human Science' started by Magical Realist, Sep 12, 2014.

  1. kx000 Valued Senior Member

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    Self is a virtue. But, so is friendship. Both are very nice, but in need of divine balance.
     
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  3. The Marquis Only want the best for Nigel Valued Senior Member

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    Unfortunately, that sense of "self" is as subject to mistaken identity as those who are more sociable are prone to.
     
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  5. Landau Roof Registered Senior Member

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    I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. - Thoreau
     
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  7. Anew Life isn't a question. Banned

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    this topic leads me to comment on the initial prose. It is true, humans do like to have time alone..?what for.
    generally for standard things of worth of structural value, in a matter nonattached to the gamuts of life in simple reason of self sufficiency, considering it's life status.
     
  8. cosmictraveler Be kind to yourself always. Valued Senior Member

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  9. Landau Roof Registered Senior Member

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  10. cosmictraveler Be kind to yourself always. Valued Senior Member

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    Drew? I have no idea who you're talking about. I've been here for over 10 years now and why you say these things I'll never know.
     
  11. Enmos Valued Senior Member

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    You signed your post with "Drew Barrymore" or, at least, that's what he thinks, Soren.
     
  12. kx000 Valued Senior Member

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    I'm never lonely, schizophrenia ftw!
     
  13. cosmictraveler Be kind to yourself always. Valued Senior Member

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    That was a quote by her and thats why her name appears at the bottom of the quote.
     
  14. joepistole Deacon Blues Valued Senior Member

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    Melinda was mine
    'Til the time that I found her
    Holding Jim, loving him
    Then Sue came along, loved me strong
    That's what I thought
    Me and Sue, but that died too
    Don't know that I will
    But until I can find me
    The girl who'll stay
    And won't play games behind me
    I'll be what I am
    A solitary man, solitary man
    I've had it to here
    Bein' where love's a small word
    Part-time thing, paper ring
    I know it's been done
    Havin' one girl who'll love me
    Right or wrong, weak or strong
    Don't know that I will
    But until I can find me
    The girl who'll stay
    And won't play games behind me
    I'll be what I am
    A solitary man, solitary man
    (instrumental)
    Don't know that I will
    But until I can find me
    The girl who'll stay
    And won't play games behind me
    I'll be what I am
    A solitary man
    Solitary man

    There is something a little romantic about being your own man, willing to go it alone if need be.
     
  15. Magical Realist Valued Senior Member

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    16,600

    Great song! I trace my loneness to having my heart broken at summer camp by a girlfriend when I was 17. I will never endure the pain of rejection again. Or maybe not..Life is crammed with surprising possibilities..
     
  16. river

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    its the loners that create
     
  17. paddoboy Valued Senior Member

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    Sometimes.
     
  18. The Marquis Only want the best for Nigel Valued Senior Member

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    One might also argue that the loners who create can only garner experience from the social.

    Is not artistic creation itself an appeal to those who can understand the work?
     
  19. Aqueous Id flat Earth skeptic Valued Senior Member

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    6,152
    Landau aptly mentioned Thoreau who emulated Emerson. In fact we could compile a long list of great people who were loners. But then a lot of great people were destructive, too. Van Gogh should not have been left alone. Or consider the young Adolf Hitler, composing Mein Kampf. People separated from their mothers at a young age should probably not be left alone. Suicidal ideation is less likely to occur in a lively engaging setting, such as a game of basketball.

    I think it's a relative term. A true loner would live under a rock and have no idea what was going on in the outside world. There is a normal amount of gregarious behavior, and then there is an excessive need for attention which can be symptomatic for harmless neuroses, and then there is egomania. Celebrities have to deal with this, and many also become reclusive, as if the publicity has traumatized them.

    The behavioralists' issue with "what's wrong with being a loner" hasn't been covered, though. Lonerism is also a trait of certifiable psychopaths. It can lead to some of the most dangerous ideation conceivable. Of course to split this off from the Ehrmann's advice to "go placidly amid the noise and haste" solves any controversy. Maybe we need to make sure we understand that "what's wrong with a psychopath being left alone" is quite another matter. After all, mass murderers aren't usually stockpiling arms in public, or building IEDs, or, for that matter, taking women and children as sex slaves. In fact, almost all dangerous crimes are conceived of and carried out in secrecy. Solitude, for the true paranoid, is some kind of excursion into furtive and clandestine darkness, as a permissive space to explore, plan and implement heinous crimes.

    I would also take issue with the idea that solitude equates with freedom and individuality. It can be so, but there is also a post-modernist wave which I think engages that psychopathic element, in that it tries to justify pathological lonerism as an expression of individuality. The Klan, "mountain men", survivalists, certain ritual cults, and the ones who committed suicides en masse in anticipation of the Rapture, or alien visitation, are examples of this. On the surface they appear to be expressing freedom, but internally we see the harmful consequences of lonerism -- even when practiced together in small communities. These people are not expressing individuality, but phobias, leading to violent and destructive results, on the order of some imaginary tribal warfare, albeit mixed with insane delusions.

    Like most higher vertebrates, humans are instinctively gregarious. To impose artificial causes for lonerism onto that hard wired program is probably, in the long run, disastrous. Hence the news media will reconstruct the most heinous criminals, the Jeffrey Dalmers and the suicide bombers, as "ticking time bombs" that were created in some shack in the woods, or some spider hole overlooking the Rift Valley.

    The trick then, for the bright eyed idealists, the artists and poets, is to approach their own need for solitude as a question of balancing their goals against the demands of instinctive human nature, to include the need for human interaction. And this includes a healthy balance of live contact to offset all of the mechanical versions afforded by the web.
     
  20. Landau Roof Registered Senior Member

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  21. river

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    this web thing is the thing

    in the past the great thinkers were for the most part alone

    it seems that the insane loners , nowadays , take the stage , the spot light

    thinkers need the time to be alone , no distractions

    the thing is nowadays , social , being social is in , its the paradigm of being

    being informed , reading , discussing and more importantly , " DISAGREEING " is shunned , therefore being ostracized from a group is common
     
  22. Magical Realist Valued Senior Member

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    16,600
    Not true. A psychopath needs people to manipulate and have power over. Their lives are all about other people and navigating the ever exciting landscape of social politics with their expert skill in orchestrating events toward their benefit.

    "In their book Snakes in Suits: When Psychopaths Go to Work, they note that psychopaths “have an inordinate need for power, prestige, wealth, etc. They operate according to their own self-serving principle: look out for number one, no matter what the cost to others and (do so) without guilt or remorse.”

    Again, sound like anyone we know?

    The emotional life of psychopaths lacks the range and depth found in most individuals, Dr. Hare says. “…No amount of training and practice will allow…the psychopath to really understand the emotional life of others, except in a vague intellectual, inferential sense. To put it simply, they don’t know how you feel, nor do they much care.

    “They are described as without conscience and incapable of empathy, guilt or loyalty to anyone but themselves,” he added.

    Dr. Babiak added that psychopaths make great first impressions and “talk a good game on a surface level, and will use technical jargon and glib, superficial charm” to convince others of their experience and expertise.

    He said the psychopath “operates on the surface level,” presenting a mask or persona that is in keeping with the expectations of the audience and that they are “more observant of others and are motivated to take advantage of the traits, characteristics and personal situations of those around them.”

    “Other people only exist to fulfill the supporting roles required of them—the pawns and patrons,” he added.

    He said most psychopaths they have known were “loners” in the sense of only thinking of themselves, but that “they do surround themselves with supporters and followers to facilitate their activities.”====http://louisianavoice.com/2013/10/1...ily-with-louisiana-officials-persona/[/quote]
     
    Last edited: Oct 19, 2014
  23. Cnewton Registered Member

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