1.A biologist, a statistician and a mathematician are on a photo-safari in africa. They drive out on the savannah in their jeep, stop and scout the horizon with their binoculars. The biologist : "Look! There's a herd of zebras! And there, in the middle : A white zebra! It's fantastic ! There are white zebra's ! We'll be famous !" The statistician : "It's not significant. We only know there's one white zebra." The mathematician : "Actually, we only know there exists a zebra, which is white on one side." 2.Q: What's purple and commutes? A: An abelian grape. Q: What's yellow, and equivalent to the Axiom of Choice? A: Zorn's Lemon. Just for fun.
So a trio of engineers finally finish a difficult project and decide to celebrate by taking a ride in a hot air balloon. Being inveterate tinkerers by nature, they soon find themselves wafting up thru the clouds, lost. After a while they drift down and find themselves over a forest primeval, stretching on as far as the eye can see EXCEPT that there is one clearing over which they are about to fly. Lo and behold there is a person sitting in the clearing reading a book. Excitedly, one engineer calls out, "Hellooooo"! The reader looks up with a start and calls back, "Hellooo!" From the balloon, "where are we?" The reader, after a slight pause replies "you're in a balloon!" A pause from the balloon as the engineers look knowingly at one another... "you wouldn't happen to be a mathematician, would you?" With a please smile, the admission comes from the ground, "why yes I am! How did you know?" Following a snort from the sky, "because your answer was precisely correct and absolutely useless!" And the balloon floats off into the distance.
A not so knowledgeable person claims that all Prime numbers are odd. A physicist states that the statement is invalid, mentioning that 2 is prime refuting the claim via a counter example. An engineer writes down a lot of primes: 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, & others. He notices that only 2 is not a prime number. He considers this merely experimental error & concludes that the claim is valid. The mathematician says:
Two statisticians are deer hunting. The first one shoots 50 feet behind the deer. The second shoots 50 in front of the deer. They high five each other and yell "we got him!"
A mathematician walked into a bakery and shouted "I'm looking for the man who cooked my ∏" Ok, so that was equally as silly.
Then, the mathematician asks the engineer that talked to him :" And you are a system engineer, are you?" and the engineer asks :"How did you know?". The mathematician answers: "You don't know where you are, you don't know where you go and you are blaming the others for this".
A Higgs boson walks into a church. The priest stops him and says, "Hold on a minute. We don't allow Higgs bosons in this church." The boson replies, "But without me, there is no mass!" ------------------------------------------------------------- A photon walks into a bar and orders a cocktail. The bartender says, "There's a special today. For fifty cents more, you can have a double." The photon replies, "No, thanks. I'm traveling light."
Two men are seated next to each other on a train, one is a mathematician. They happen to pass through a very flat stretch of land in Texas and there are thousands of cattle visible in a very large pasture. "Wow!" Says one man, "There must be a million cattle out there!" "No," smiled the mathematician, "there are exactly 393,000." "Amazing," said the man, "how did you find the number so quickly??" The mathematician, smiled again and said, "Well, I have to admit that there IS a trick to it. I just counted the legs and divided by four."
An engineer, a physicist, & a mathematician notice an entirely white cow. The engineer says: The physicist says: The mathematician says:
