Gay Culture (just let me rant, please!)

"What is the book about? Just wait and see. It's all about me!"

 

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Oh mercy me! Uncle Dan is here.

Look, MZ. First off, I hate your screen name. I'm not even fond of mine. Let me introduce myself. Dan Holliday here. I live in Cleveland, Ohio. I'm an expert in a lot of gay things. I've been through a lot going from where you are to where I am now. I took the really, REALLY rough route and I hope you don't. Bitterness and hopelessness are really the wrong attitudes.

Ugh. It's almost time for bed and I need to start winding down, but I will send you to two postings I wrote about two things that made me who I am:

• What is it like to realize you are gay/Dan Holliday
• What does it feel like to be addicted to drugs/Dan Holliday

That's a lot of shit to read. But I feel like this place, Sciforums, really keeps a lot of walls around us and that we really don't become real because of these avatars and fake names. I've got LifeLock, so I figure I'm safe. Plus, HuffPo has asked to print a few of my things, so now I guess I have to live with my name being attached to my visceral accounts of what it's like to be me.

In short, I love dick too. I'm lucky that I'm in a six-year, very strong, relationship with a great guy . . . . with a huge dick. But that's neither here nor there. I love my boyfriend and the very day, the very FUCKING DAY that it's legalized, I will be getting married by a justice of the peace. And let me tell you something, I'm 37 years old and I was single from the day I came out (17) until I turned 31. My partner is 13 years younger than me and I don't give a fuck. He's the best human being I've ever known.

I was a lot like you. I've NEVER been a part of any gay community. ALL of my friends--but one--are straight guys. I hate "stereotypical" gay culture (**more on that in a minute**). My boyfriend and I call ourselves the original "gay homophobes". NO, we don't hate gay people, but we've not really met many whom we like. While we don't really do TV sports, I am extremely active. We have no taste in clothes, our house is pretty bland, we don't do much for style or artsy stuff and we really enjoy pretty standard things (except for travel, we really love to travel).

I've been on so many dates and I hate to add fuel to the homophobic fire when I say this, but you're right: gay culture sucks. Many gay people are catty assholes because that's what the insular community has fomented and it's really sad. BUT (and this is where I pick up on the earlier point), this is all changing. I'm starting to immerse myself into the my local FreeThinker, AtheistMeetup (sorry, I'm an atheist) and GayAthletic organizations. And the best part is, there's are MORE gay athletes in the alternative-gay community than you probably know. It's like there's this entire OTHER gay community out there, of gay men, who aren't effeminate; who act like guys . . . but have all the good stuff on the side (shit, we're still guys!). And it's really started to be a pleasure to box with some of the gay guys I see on Thursdays. It's fun to run ToughMudder, Warrior Dash and the Cleveland [half] Marathon in the spring with my one and only gay friend.

MZ3 --- there are LOTS of masculine, guy's-guy, gay guys out there who will be all the man you want . . . . and all the good gay sex after that (which, believe me, is the best part: there's no sex like the sex that leaves you bruised, rug-burned and scratched to the sub-dermis). I tell you this now to give you a shortcut to happiness: KEEP LOOKING. And the really shitty thing is, the doorway to this gay community is sort of through the gay community that neither of us likes: you have to look online for Meetup groups, for gay football teams and other active "non-bar" groups that usually advertise in your local gay news paper (every city has one, don't fool yourself).

Best thing is, you sound like a blossoming professional with a solid financial future and, IIRC, you aren't a bad looking guy either. So, getting laid by the right guys and meeting Mr. Right is possible, but it requires some work. And hope. Don't turn bitter. I've seen too many bitter fags.

Don't be that guy.

--Dan

 

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Does In Love grace the same sex couples?

 

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I'm trying to science here, in the most general terms possible.

You have to be out there to do this. Don't worry for me. I know how my post read.

 

Uncle Dan.....Yoda of gay.

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Speaking of Holliday's....

Hey....you don't even have to be gay to be fabulous! I can rebuild a 4-speed tranny, and put up fabulous Christmas decorations too. Take that! Da Vinci!

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This was flipping hilarious... :roflmao:
and yes I would like some in my face. But sadly I can't take just any offers. After all I am married and she would beat me for such a thing.

Oh Carcano you are not the only one.
He seemed a different poster went away for a time.
And then he came back off his meds me thinks.

 

Danny Boy! From Ohio! Me too. Glad you could join this thread. I am from that dreaded state. Glad I moved away.

 

R1D2, ever consider In Love could offer multiple titties for you and herself?

 

I won't take that as a insult however, I take it you have never been married. And even a wife is like a stranger sometimes.

PS

I had more to add but I thought better about writing it down.

 

And?

 

My relationship has lasted longer than three heterosexual marriages that I'm close to. Certainly longer than the Kardashian and Spears bullshit.

~String

 

The longest one I've been in was exactly three years. We split on our anniversary.

PS. I'm not a fan of my username either. I established my account back 06. At the time, I owned a Mazda3 (hence the MZ3 part). I was young (hence "boy"). And 84 is my birth year... 1684, to be precise. At least that's how it feels. I'd gladly change my username, given the opportunity. I don't own the Mazda, and I am certainly no longer a "boy". And I hate to think of myself when I hit 40-50, still having to post under this name. Sure, I could just create another account. It's like one of those bonehead tattoos people get but will regret down the road. But it took me 6+ years to get a post count of 3,000+. I'm not willing to start over.

 

MZ--- send me a PM and I'll get it changed for you.

Have you considered your search technique? The key, MZ3, is you must form a circle of like minded friends. You and I are quite similar (except I'm not a fan of monogamy, and frankly, I've done my share of whoring around), so believe me: find a community of men who aren't into the standard gay shit. PM me and I'll do some digging with you. Ae you on FB?

~Dan

 

I meant be expletive to see how he would react, science.

I think I offended my own know. I understand how homosexuality exist.

 

Part of the problem is that I am not very social to begin with. When I was a kid, I had one or two friends, but for the most part just liked to be left alone in my room with my LEGO's and other things.

The same exists today. I have a few friends, but instead of LEGO's, it's books and my piano now.

I guess I've always just been more of a loner. And it certainly doesn't help that most people (gay or straight) within relative closeness to my age group tend to be revolve around things that don't interest me. I was programming computers when I was nine years old, while my friends were shooting birds with BB guns. When I was 16, I was meditating in a Buddhist temple while my friends were out getting stoned.

So... establishing like-minded friends, for me, has always been a relatively difficult task. Every once in a while, I meet someone that I do relate with, even if not perfectly. And we are then able to grow from that starting point. My best friend is an example of that. We sure have our differences, but it seems that we think in similar ways and about similar things.

I'll PM you momentarily.

 

I'm straight and hate football and sports in general. Okay .. There... I said it.

My name is Kwhilborn and I hate football.

 

I have this funny urge to set you up with a friend of mine.

Also, I think that a lot of the problems you described are not just with "gay culture", they are with American culture. Superficial, materialistic, promiscuous, unfriendly to the intellectual... there are exceptions of course, and I have been lucky to find a subculture to which I can feel at least some sense of belonging, but mostly, I count myself lucky that I enjoy time alone.

 

MZ...if you change your username...be sure to change your user title to "Formerly known as MZ3boy84"...so we know who the hell you are....at least until we get used to your new name.