Intelligence and loneliness

i guess the bottomline is that when a person knows too much his standards towards something increases and even when it comes to things that will make him happy and being hard to please due to these set of standards can actually make him vulnerable to depression........ if its clinical depression already then there must be other causes rather than just being intelligent.

Everyone here seems to me to be taking the subject very personally. Myself, I see it as a good scientific question that cannot be answered just by looking in at your own self.

Depending upon your childhood environment, people are either more or less social. Some are what we call "loners." Does anyone have any logical reason for thinking that loners have to be born with higher I.Q.? And we need to take into consideration that "geniuses" do not necessarily have a high I.Q. Much that is created by genius comes from pure guts, determination, persistance and dedication. Also, I've met early school drop outs with incredibly sharp and quick minds who had a fabulous ability to remember.

Moreover, in the higher educational system, there are parent- supported "professional students" who just keep taking courses and spend their time using their liberal arts education's claim's to "teach them how to think" to impress others.:bawl:

Here's my take: it's all related to IQ distribution. I've always found it strange that high IQs seem to be associated with social awkwardness. Wouldn't an intelligent person be able to assess social situations 'better'? The answer, I believe, lies in the bell-curve. I saw a study once that showed people with mean-IQ levels typically had the most sexual encounters and sexual partners, and these numbers quickly dropped off as you followed the bell curve to the extremes...

This is all trivially explained if you presume that people need to surround themselves with others of approximately the same intelligence in order to make a sincere social (or sexual) connection. High (or low) IQ means you're less likely to find many on an intellectual plane that enables for a true bonding, while those folks in the middle have a much, much larger pool to socialize (and get busy!) with.

Yes

jessobrien3 said:

From my own experience, the more I learn about people and their simplisitic thought processes, the more I separate myself from them. I dont think intelligent folks are "alone" because they cant find anyone to keep them company. I think they are "alone" because they do not want to be surrounded by idiots, so they isolate themselves. That's the truth in my case anyway....just sayin. :shrug:

sidenote: when I come across someone that I can really vibe with mentally, I keep them around. It's not often though....

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I agree entirely. I am the same... =) less enlightened people around me make me frustrated with their ignorance. As I get more frustrated, I get more lonely. and depressed.. and closer to attempting suicide.. again..

THECREATOR said:

I agree entirely. I am the same... =) less enlightened people around me make me frustrated with their ignorance. As I get more frustrated, I get more lonely. and depressed.. and closer to attempting suicide.. again..

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Aaaand...you've found us!

The regular posters here may not all be entirely sane, but those who stay are not stupid.

*Sigh*...

Sometimes I wonder why such a question would be asked and why so many people respond to such a question. IMHO, that is the only real knowledge to be gained from such a thread as this. Yes, you might be saying that the first statement is hypocritical but I found the post because I am dealing with severe loneliness and it makes me feel better to read other people talking about it because, well, it makes me feel less lonely. There is no direct 1 to 1 relationship between loneliness and intelligence or every intelligent person would suffer from loneliness and unintelligent people would hardly ever suffer. Is someone with higher intelligence statistically more susceptible to loneliness? Probably, I don’t think too many sponges suffer from loneliness. The fact is human emotions are effected by many variables, we are very complex creatures, some more than others.

Perhaps intelligence implies complexity, and complexity is simply less likely to find satisfying compatibility.

Loneliness is a withdraw symptom of social addiction. You have to go cold turkey and you won't be lonely any more.

okwhat said:

I am dealing with severe loneliness and it makes me feel better to read other people talking about it because, well, it makes me feel less lonely.

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This is the benefit that communication technology provides to humanity. Obviously the first communication technology, spoken language, brought people closer together because they could share their thoughts and feelings more easily--not to mention that it gave them a more nuanced way to form those thoughts and to express those feelings in the first place.

Written language took this a step further, at least for the tiny fraction of the population who could read and write in the era before the invention of printing. They could read things written by people who were long dead and discover that the ideas they were wrestling with were not brand new. And to a limited extent they could communicate with people in distant lands.

The printing press gave mankind a reason to establish schools and teach everyone to read and write, making books and newspapers possible as well as vernacular correspondence with family, friends and colleagues in not-too-distant cities. All of these advances in communication made it easier for people to find and "talk" to others (or at least "listen" to them) with whom they share interests and attitudes, while at the same time making it possible to "talk" to someone without letting him into their personal physical space.

Electronic communication makes communicating faster and easier, but also increases both its reach and its bandwidth. We can now find soul-mates in distant countries, and "get together" in virtual places like this one as a community.

Many people are lonely simply because they're one-percenters by the standards of the people among whom they live. They can't find any common interests to bother chatting about, and they feel at least somewhat persecuted for being different, if only due to sheer ostracism which may not even be meant as deliberate unkindness. Being able to transcend the limits of one's physical abode greatly increases the odds of discovering that there are people out there with whom it's both safe and enjoyable to fraternize. The cure for loneliness can sometimes be that simple.

There is no direct 1 to 1 relationship between loneliness and intelligence or every intelligent person would suffer from loneliness and unintelligent people would hardly ever suffer. Is someone with higher intelligence statistically more susceptible to loneliness?

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In my experience, yes. It's common (but by no means universal) for intelligent people to want their companions to be able to talk about things that average people don't understand, or in many cases have never heard of.

S.A.M. said:

While reading a ridiculously fluff novel recently, I came across a profound statement:

The greater the intelligence, the greater the capacity for loneliness

Is this true? Just offhand, without looking too much into it, it seems to be too simplistic. While intelligent people have a greater capacity for enjoying their own company - does this automatically make them more likely to be lonesome?

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Yes. It makes them more lonesome because their fellow equals are much more scarce.

Fraggle Rocker said:

Many people are lonely simply because they're one-percenters by the standards of the people among whom they live. They can't find any common interests to bother chatting about, and they feel at least somewhat persecuted for being different, if only due to sheer ostracism* which may not even be meant as deliberate unkindness. Being able to transcend the limits of one's physical abode greatly increases the odds of discovering that there are people out there with whom it's both safe and enjoyable to fraternize. The cure for loneliness can sometimes be that simple.

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Completely Agreed.

*ostracism - Hey new word! The liguistics guy does know his trade well!

loneliness

I have found that often people are put off by smart people. Often in social settings knowledgeable people tend to be alienated because of not wanting to appear shallow. Especially in the populated world we have now, where image transcends sense and selflessness. Too often one has to think that too many highly intelligent individuals are overlooked due to so many that don't pay attention to much outside of themselves.

Fraggle said:

This is the benefit that communication technology provides to humanity. Obviously the first communication technology, spoken language, brought people closer together because they could share their thoughts and feelings more easily--not to mention that it gave them a more nuanced way to form those thoughts and to express those feelings in the first place.

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That’s exactly what Susan Cain says in this video. I can totally relate. I do enjoy socializing but I also need my space.

The power of introverts

nitram22 said:

I have found that often people are put off by smart people. Often in social settings knowledgeable people tend to be alienated because of not wanting to appear shallow. Especially in the populated world we have now, where image transcends sense and selflessness. Too often one has to think that too many highly intelligent individuals are overlooked due to so many that don't pay attention to much outside of themselves.

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This is a good reason for intelligent people to congregate in the cities. Easier to find a peer there. Of course this is not true just for intelligent people. But the smaller your peer group, the easier it is to find another member of it in a large urban population than a small rural one.

This is also why Zoroastrians or immigrants from Tannu Tuva would choose to live in a city rather than a small town in Idaho.

...

Fraggle Rocker said:

In my experience, yes. It's common (but by no means universal) for intelligent people to want their companions to be able to talk about things that average people don't understand, or in many cases have never heard of.

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1 to 1 ratio means for every step of intelligence there is an equal step of loneliness. There is not a 1 to 1 ratio between intelligence and loneliness, this is obvious. If this was the case everyone with the same intelligence would also have the same degree of loneliness. Is there a statistical relationship between these two aspects of a person's mental makeup? Probably, but I have not seen any scientifical studies. However, using common sense, it is logical to make this assumption.

I think it is safe to say human psychology is a very complex. It involes so many variables that, to this point, it is impossible to define. This complexity makes it frustrating at times but yet still absolutely wonderful.

S.A.M. said:

does this automatically make them more likely to be lonesome?

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This automatically makes them susceptible to more often hear a diatribe of babbling cretinism from the total amount of speakers that exist in the world.

From an implementation of injustice, the less intelligent are subjected to hearing babbling cretinism less often and the degree of the seldomness in which they hear cretinism, is directly proportionate to the degree of their lesser intelligence

draqon said:

Einstein was not lonely.

who was exactly lonely that was truly intelligent? :shrug:

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stateofmind said:

In my opinion you're not that smart if you can't enjoy being stupid once in a while

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In my opinion you're stupid if you don't realize people have different life experiences and those experiences shape what we lack and what we need for happiness and mental health. If no one has ever taken us serious our entire life, our patience for silliness is going to be less than someone who grew up in a household where everyone was over dramatic and serious all the time.

An intelligent society would be set up to recognize and accommodate these subtle differences in individual experiences and needs.

But, as you can see, we are not in a very intelligent society.

I was consuming unhealthy amounts of weed and coffee when I posted in this thread. Reading over my old comments was nauseating, what a moron.
Here is an attempt at redemption:

I imagine there is a degree of intelligence that is ideal for social interactions: elevated above your average Joe, but not to such a degree that you are completely out of sight. To be of abnormal intelligence is to be completely out of sight. It is to be an airplane in the sky in the eyes of grazing cattle. The cattle can see the plane, but they can neither understand nor relate. In my limited experience, people either mock what they do not understand, or they run from it.

I'd like to share with you a few passages from William Alger's The Solitude of Man:

"...there are souls occupied with matters so exaltedly noble and sensitive as to be generally incommunicable. This class of men are lonely not because they do not bare, or cannot bare, or do not wish, the most intimate companionship. They are lonely because their states of consciousness are so swift and fine, their height of soul and range of life so vast and ardulous, that their associates are unable to appreciate them."

On English Divine Henry More: "His ideality, learning, and earnest love removed him in spirit to a planetary distance from his worldly-minded neighbors, whom he characterized as "parrot-like prattlers boasting their wonderful insight to holy truth, when as they have indeed scarce licked the outside of the glasse wherein it lies."

"extraordinary minds are painfully alone in the world because their actions cannot elicit harmonized reactions by the ordinary minds by which they are surrounded."

on range of emotion and experience:
Chords that vibrate sweetest pleasure
Thrill the deepest notes of woe.

"Soft, rich, capacious genius, looking with eyes of inquiring tenderness into every soul it meets, and seeing nothing there correspondent with what is deepest and dearest in itself, is repelled into solitude."

Loneliness is not a light subject: Please take 5 mins to read

I have very recently been diagnosed with depression resulting from loneliness. I have been attending therapy sessions for around 2 months now. I am have no wish to brag or boast just to settle the pointless argument that I have read here. During my therapy I was also categorized as a "highly intelligent (not the exact wording of my therapist; it is toned down) perfectionist" person; which is one of the roots of my predicament. Not being able to communicate with people with different levels of perception is a debilitating situation which I face regularly and this causes a number of mixed feelings to arise; some of these result in a change in my standard of living and also, in me questioning every single action I take in my life (which again leads to the former). To people that have added "wisdom" into the equation I say this: If I was wise I would definitely be able to "think" myself out of this situation by stopping my brain take me into the absurd and prevent me from enjoying life and work by way of increasing my anxiety and causing countless sleepless nights ...

Please don't take this topic lightly as I have very nearly ruined my life and career because of it. I am sure there are other people like me and I hope they are as lucky as I have been in aquiring the help they must desperately need.

mems said:

Not being able to communicate with people with different levels of perception is a debilitating situation which I face regularly and this causes a number of mixed feelings to arise; some of these result in a change in my standard of living and also, in me questioning every single action I take in my life (which again leads to the former).

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There are so many people in this world who are "not able to communicate with people with different levels of perception" - and who don't give a rat's ass about that. If they can't communicate with someone, they ignore them, or call them stupid, and that's that for them, and they are perfectly happy with it.

If "not being able to communicate with people with different levels of perception" would in and of itself be debilitating, then everyone who is "not able to communicate with people with different levels of perception" would experience it as debilitating. But, clearly, many people are "not able to communicate with people with different levels of perception," but not all are worried about it, much less debilitated by it.


But some people do think they absolutely need to be able to "communicate with people with different levels of perception".
But is that really a need? Is it really necessary to have this ability?
Perhaps if one works as a lawyer or a professional negotiator, for example, then being able to communicate with just anyone is a necessary professional skill. Otherwise, it is not.

Some people hold jobs that they are not suited for, and this is what can cause them to become depressed. So the solution is to improve the skills necessary for the job, or to change careers.