Things that Never Happen On StarTrek

The holodeck functions perfectly and nobody gets trapped inside.

 

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Sorry, that's happened before.

 

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Wesley pukes on Worf. Wesley is ejected out of an airlock.

The Doctor (any one of them) refuses to do anything but skip in circles and sing children's songs.

Worf subdues Wesley.

They make their way home, and at the 5 year reunion, while aboard the Enterprise, (for the festivities and all) something goes awry. That's gotta be good for a WHOLE lot of footage.

 

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Picard says;

"*** it! Lets go home!"

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Dee Cee

Moderator Edit: You could of said "Screw"

 

Janeway would turn out to be a lesbian.

 

- Picard has a bad hair day
- janeway blows up a small moon b/c she was on her peroid
- seven of nine forgets to dress one moring and walks around naked
- the replicator goes on strike
- the replicator replicas a meal after it was eatin

 

Riker says "Have a nice day baldy."

Georgie La Forg notices that he's the only black guy on the ship outside of Whoopi Goldberg who isnt even suppose to be human.

 

Startrek - the sun is missing

Have you ever seen a solarium on the Enterprise?

But for health care reasons, they should have one!

Longterm living in the space ship an insufficient sun exposition would produce a lack of vitamines and calcium level in the blood, and mybe scorbut?

Or do all Enterprise rooms have a new technology light system which guarantees a natural spectrum as would the sun?

 

Forgive me if I can't remember a source, but I'm pretty sure we already have such lights.

 

LOL.

these are hilarious

 

The Enterprise carries a spare set of dilithium crystals.

 

Wesey gets a spanking.

Worf actually takes a passive viewpoint.

Riker actually decides whether or not to keep facial hair.

Picard asks the replicator for a shot of Jose Cuervo instead of Earl Grey.

Guinan doesn't wear a silly hat.

Data finally gets a promotion after doing everyone else's job for years.

The Enterprise comes upon a planet they've been to before and Picards says 'Not here again, this place sucks.'

Picard wears a toupee.

Picard is late for his duty shift, comes to the bridge in a bathrobe.

Worf Takes up ballet.

Data speaks in a southern accent. 'I am working alright, ya'll."

Geordi comes out with a gangsta rap CD titled: "Blind Man's Bluff, Yo."

Data sings the "Lifeforms" song in fromt of the UFP President.

Piker wears a cowboy hat to the bridge.

Picard orders a Red Alert and the computer responds, "Up yours'.

Barkley has a real relationship with someone who isn't a hologram.

Geordi LaForge and Harry Kim find girlfriends.

Chakotay reveals that his tattoo is really eyeliner.

Dr. Crusher uses medicine other than Anaprovaline.

Seven of Nine loosens up and has a torrid love affair with Neelix.

Rom goes postal and beats the living crap out of Quark.

Quark finally admits: " I don't do this for the money....I just love entertaining people."

Quark admits to running a prostitution ring and he's the Dabo girls' pimp.

 

Computers...

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In Captain Picard's as well as in Captain Janeway's vessels,
you never see a

windows start button
or
a blue screen on a display

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They have to pull out a -500 tester to make sure the computer's working right.

 

You hear a toilet flush on the bridge.

McCoy says "Dammit Jim, I'm a bricklayer, not a doctor."

The Enterprise is pulled over for doing warp 9 in a warp 5 zone.

A transporter glitch rearranges the crew's body parts; Spock's new "nose" wins him the nickname "Elephant Guy".

The replicators are replaced by vending machines that steal the crew's money. Worf is killed when a Coke machine he's shaking falls on him.

Food fight!

 

Captain Picard reveals that he's not only bald up top, but bald somewhere else to...

Data's cat actually uses a Kitty litter box. (Seriously, when have you seen the cat use the litter box? Or when have you seen Data clean the litter box? Does the cat just go where it wants?)

 

OMFG this funny ***! Guess I'll try:

1- You see the REAL programs that the single men run in the holodeck! With the funky music and everything!

3- The Original crew finally admit they are all drug addicts(Spock psycadelics, Bones Drunk, Capt Kirk Esxtacy, Scotty Speedfreak, OHura Pill popper, Checkoff and Sulu are coked out gay lovers)

6- Geordy would change his name to G-Pac, and him and Tuvak would make a musical group as a tribute to a 20th Century Rapper.

7- Q actually helps the crew out in a nice way, then Spontaniously Combusts never to be seen again.

8- Bilana admits to being a Freak in bed and invites Neelix in on a 3 some while the Holographic Doctor watches while wearing a leather mask and using a whip.

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9- Neelix is thrown in the brig for molestation/sagitory rape with his 3 year old girlfriend

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10- Someone who's only called Crewman, or Ensin, actually saves the day.:m:

Moderator Warning: Hey, some of those were really really wrong.

 

HEY they werent Wrong its stuff that you would never see on Star Trek! Whats wrong with someone calling Janeway a Lez but me taking it to the extreme for example

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And who better to get (CENSORED) on her (CENSORED) piecred then (CENSORED) huh?! lol

Ok my bad I got a lil vulgar but it was funny but the young minds that might browse this forum it could cause problems sorry.......



I'll try to tone it down but its hard

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spock admits that he actually has a crush on mac coy and we find out why datas cat turned from male to female ( my bet is riker REALLY doesn't like cats)