Have You Ever Been In The Presence of Evil?

well what a happy coincidence for you. Have you given a thought to going to the police to help save those castrated indian sex slave children that transvestite is using for snuff films? I'm assuming your store has video tape they can review.

 

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I've never seen a post such as the OP's that so clearly indicates active schizophrenia.

I'm 100% serious, and have seen it in real life more often than I am comfortable with. See a doctor, take the pills, and you will save yourself, friends, and family a lot of pain.

 

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My friend used to deal lots hallucinogens. Over the years he saw quite a few people fall into schizophrenia, close friends and strangers alike. He used to say for his line of work - it is a matter of personal survival to be able to identify the symptoms. Sell to the wrong type, and face life imprisonment. Such a dealer is not a budding psychologist - he is an extremely specialized and experienced schizophrenia finder.

And with no doubt, you had your first episode. He (the dealer) has seen almost word for word exactly the same experience happen before.

& Dude, and it brings chills to my spine typing this - how identical your experience was to the person who eventually became a full-fledged schizophrenic.

Just see a doctor and be safe eh? Before you can't see straight.

 

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Something Cleaver,

We don't know enough about you to make an educated guess as to whether you are highly perceptive, in need of help, or playing us. We must assume that you are in need of help. Do you use medication now? Get help in any case.

A person who aspires to be evil will destroy themselves or be destroyed by another evil. You don't want to be that other evil. The way to fight evil is with love. So your impulse to attack this person is what you must fight.

 

Wrong.

Or take off and nuke it from orbit.
That way we can be sure.

 

I just re-read my initial post and I see how CRAZY it sounds. I sound like one of those drunks on the corner who say things like, "the locusts! not the locusts!"
I mean it sounds fucking nuts: transvestites, devil's tridents, snuff porn, being able to detect evil... I sound like a fucking nutter, I get it. But trust me, I am not playing you (though I kind of wish I was, because I'd clearly be pretty damn good at it)

here's the deal: I am overly sensitive, there was a woman who radiated extremely negative, vicious energy, and it shook me up. I've had these feelings before but on a minor scale, and all three times the person ended up doing harmful, illegal things. because my hunches have been accurate in the past, and because this woman produced a far greater sense of unease than any of them, I logically concluded that she had committed (or is capable of committing) terrible acts.

my Dad also has a theory that PTSD played a large role. You see, when I was one year old in 1990, a large fire threatened our home near Yosemite. Everything was frantic- he said he was hauling ass, passing on double-yellows etc. We were temporary refugees at a home in Yosemite Valley.

Fast forward to this week, 21 years later. there is another fire threatening our home, and we once again have evacuated. Not only that, our refugee camp is right across the street from the place we stayed in 1990. I don't know anything about PTSD, but he sure does (killed his brother and friend while driving drunk) and he thinks the bitchy woman was a trigger for PTSD symptoms to emerge (as well as the similar fire situation, obviously)

is my Dad onto something? what do you guys think?

(and to Orleander: the art center does not have video cameras, but I believe the bookstore does. but it's all just hearsay from my co-worker. I don't have a single shred of evidence. she might though. I'm now a tad skeptical of her though because I did some research on snuff films and it seems to be mostly a myth (the industry, anyway. there certainly are real videos of death). Out of curiosity, is your resent toward me purely because you think I should be talking to the police, or because you are just a bitter douche?)

 

I think it is possible . Hows the smoke ? Looks like our fire might be out . So strange . Yesterday I posted ( our the day before ) That I wish it would rain and put the fire out . Fuck I can't believe it . It rained Big last night . I was so suprised when I went out side this morning . I think the fires are out . No smoke in the air anyway .

Whats up with the 17 deaths at the dome rock ? I been there . Yosemite ! what a great place to grow up . You lucky bastard you . Watch out for big foot

 

SomethingClever, under what authority do you have the right to murder and assassinate?

You remind me of the woman who attempted to murder her husband because she found a pest control brochure in their home, which she convinced herself was a “murder contract”, and from it, she further convinced herself that her husband was using it to hire a hit man to get rid of her. She didn’t go to the police or to court, and she didn’t leave him … she simply wanted to murder him, and she deluded herself with an unrealistic excuse.

You’re telling us about your alleged supernatural ability to perceptive evil in others and in indulging in murder and styling your life after a fictional vigilante/murderer, but you have not once mentioned reporting this alleged international criminal to the authorities.

There are others who suffer the same sickness. Please seek professional help for your sickness immediately.

 

There have actually been 18 Yosemite deaths this year, not 17. One man died on his way to the hospital in Fresno, so that technicality precludes it as a "yosemite" death. people are plunging to their deaths left and right, it's awful. The most gruesome were the last three waterfall victims. what an awful way to go. I spoke with their families... very sad... they have only recovered one of the three bodies. btw Me-Ki-Gal, what fire are you near?

as for the assassin comment, it was not literal. I am not going to become an assassin. but when I hear about innocence falling to the hands of evil, I naturally desire justice (and what guy doesn't like to imagine himself as a badass assassin disposing of evil)

now, to counter the inevitable, "well who are you to define evil?" comments, let me say this: if you purchase, castrate, torture, then murder young children, you are fucking evil. if you want to debate this concept, go take a college philosophy course where fools posing to be intellectuals deconstruct things to such an unnecessary extreme that the subject loses any meaning it had in the first place (/rant tangent)

 

Sometimes I feel profoundly grossed out by certain people for no reason that is consciously discernible at the time and don't want to see them if I can help it.

It's usually something to do with boundaries - I don't deal well with people who insist on infringing boundaries (for example someone who doesn't know you very well but constantly touches you while talking, etc.). Sometimes it's idiopathic though.

 

Oh Jesus, just read the entire thread...

GO GET MENTAL HEALTH TREATMENT, FOR FLIP'S SAKE.

 

You know it's possible. PTSD manifests in a lot of different ways, often a broad term used in a variety of cases. It certainly could have been that.

You're obviously not loony, and actually pretty clever judging by your retrospective post. From my experience, your OP was nearly word-for-word out of a friend of mine's mouth a couple years back before he really lost it - pretty much identical.

Seeing intense evil in someone, enough to cause disturbing emotions is enough to qualify you as candidate for schizophrenia. No offense at all, but for your own sake keep it on check. Next time you get a feeling that someone is evil rationalize the hell out of it, if your logic doesn't win and you start convincing yourself that in-fact they are evil BAM dude it's not easy getting off that road.

Walking on a tight-rope is an analogy that comes to mind. Your ability to judge your initial post as crazy is f**king brilliant in my opinion. If I were you I'd familiarize myself with all the symptoms so you have a bit of objective reference is things start getting weird.

The best thing anyone can do for you is to tell you straight up, that you sounded crazy. Anything else would have just deluded you further you know? Everything I type is out of sincere concern.

Just be careful - bodies are fragile. Brains are weird.

 

Scratch all that, I think I'm fucked. I just did checked "early symptoms" on schizophrenia.com. I don't want pills though, I hate fucking pills.

here are the things that match:

-overly acute senses (lights too bright, sounds too loud)
yesterday I specifically remember thinking, "damn these lights are bright"

-an awkward gait (how you walk)
before, I attributed this to either my knee surgery or my social awkwardness

-movement is speeded up
Lately I've been passing other walkers like I'm fucking Seabiscuit. I attributed it to my elite athleticism and fast-twitch muscle fibers.

-inability to experience joy or pleasure from activities
lack motivation to play MLB The Show, which I usually love

Feeling indifferent to important events
there is a large fire threatening my home and I've been pretty apathetic toward the whole thing

Feeling detached from your own body (depersonalization)
last two days vision has been fuzzy, brain in a slight fog, reality seems slightly distant. I thought this was just part of a hangover.

Hypersensitivity to criticism, insults, or hurt feelings
("evil" lady in bookstore. extreme rage.)


--Sudden irritability, anger, hostility, suspiciousness, resentment
I got very angry at someone for telling me to wait 20 minutes when it took over an hour.

Intense and excessive preoccupation with religion or spirituality
(new obsession with evil, demonic possession etc.)

Delusions of reference- thinking that random events convey a special meaning to you. An example is that a newspaper headline or a license plate has a hidden meaning for you to figure out. That they are signs trying to tell you something.
this has happened my whole life. attributed it to spirituality+ fate+ a bit of self-centeredness


Suddenly halting speech in the middle of a sentence (thought blocking)
I thought it was from too much coffee

Delusions of grandeur- the belief that you have an important mission, special purpose, or are an unrecognized genius, or famous person.

I've spent the last two months researching "genius"-- and became fully convinced that I am a genius. I even match all the physical traits of genius as mentioned here by Balzac

Religious delusions- that you are Jesus, God, a prophet, or the antichrist.
the last two weeks I've literally felt that I am God or Jesus being transmitted through human form. on the bright side, at least I'm not Satan.

I appreciate all your support. I will keep a daily log so that future psychologists will have detailed descriptions of this illness as it progresses.

 

I think you've reached the end of where people on here can help you.
You need professional advice.

I'm trying to put myself in your shoes, and it's frightening.
It's a serious illness.

It's a bit like finding a lump somewhere.
You don't want to go to the doctor.
He might tell you it's cancer.
But not going doesn't make it go away.

 

The pills. Not great are they?
Since you started this thread, I've been looking them up too.
They sound bloody awful. Medieval.

One shaft of sunlight is that you are in the very early stages.
You will probably need medication, but maybe you won't need too high a dose, and with psychotherapy, maybe not for long.

 

Krem, your post is like punctuation. I think you said all there is to say.

SomethingClever, the way you handled it thus far deserves utmost respect. Take care man. I'll check back on this thread from time to time to see whats up

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@ S & D
*blink*
You never read Kathaksung or JamesbretonK?

S.C.:
If you are schizophrenic...or you already get depressed, so probably schizoaffective...
Psychosis is a scary place.
You do not want to go there.
Untreated you WILL get worse, schizophrenia actually does brain damage untreated.
Call your shrink ASAP, get an appointment.
Call your parents too. Tell them you think you may be schizophrenic, and they need to keep calling you until you get seen by a doc.

The irritability/rages might be incipient mania...This...hmmm.

See, this could be schizophrenia, could be schizoaffective, could be manic psychosis... :shrug:
Either way, brain to the shop. Now.

Yeah, 'fraid so, but they beat psychosis hands down.

 

Hello this is Tim's nurse at Greil Memorial Psychiatric in Montgomery. He somehow bypassed the internet security systems in place. We apologize for any inconvenience.

 

>Snort<
The people I knew on the old site who went into the psych hospital spent all day posting about how bad the food sucked and how annoying the staff were.

At least if you go completely 'round the bend, you can keep us posted...

 

It was a fire just getting going . It had one good blow up and was burning for 4 or 5 days . I don't know how many acres it burned , It could fire back up and if any T storms come with this rain you know what happens ! It is still cloudy out and more could fall , but it don't look like T storm weather . WE may have dodged the bullet this time . Fire storm 2000 and 2002 or 2003 can't remember ? fire storm 2000 is the most famous . I am in Missoula Montana . Our smoke jumpers are more than likely hot shotting your fires . Maybe part of the effort . If you see Court tell em Hi for Me . He would be a Hot Shot leader . Court is a funny name so if you hear it it is him . I can't imagine another Court in the smoke jump business . Me Navy seal buddy Tim could be there to Wallace is his last name . He a smoke jumper too . So is Carry Johnston . Don't fuck with her . She will take you down . She don't look like much and her titties are quite small but that girl is pure fucking muscle. Not decorative like body builders , but pure fucking adrenalin rush strength . She is a champion Tell-a something skier . Bad ass . I would fuck her if I was single and she let Me . I love her , she is my friend . Don't fuck with her . I mean if she lets you that is O.K. , but be good to her is what I mean, Court and Tim too if they are there helping you get the fire out.

O.K. I think you are projecting the horror of the falls . 18 hun . Jeeze . Gruesome I am sure . Not only your evacuation , but compounded by the fall deaths . Think about the all the people on the East Coast . First an Earth quake that scared the shit out of em and then the hurricane right on top of it . Now flooding out the ying yang . I think some of them are going to feel some of the pressures you are feeling my friend .

Murphy law number 2. Don't sweat the small stuff . Murphy law number 3 : Every thing is the small stuff .

Here is me other words of wisdom to help you cope with tragedy:

I don't get stressed ! I give stress !