Do Gays like Men more than Straight Women?

And this is exactly what goes on at a strip club...even more so with traditional Burlesque, which is undergoing a HUGE resurgence among young girls.

The audience gets to inhale and taste all the aromas and flavours of sensuality...without gaining a single pound!

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Just about everyone, both directly, and indirectly.

Of course, no mother actually sat her daughter down and told her that she was a 'gatekeeper', but we pass the ideas on whether we consciously mean to or not. Notice how most people emphasize 'love' with girls, but not sex? Notice how they frame it as something he'll want to do and she'll have to accept?

 

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This ain't happening in this life but in the paradise in the hereafter one can perhaps practice being nude and sexual all day with one's spouse (or spouses) where all the dirt and shame are absent unlike in this worldly life.

 

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to be honest, the dirt and shame is real at times and that is why it can be a problem.

sex can be predatorial and damaging. it's like a dance and not everyone is careful or understands the art of it or cares to respect the art of it in relation to the other.

well to be even more honest about it, sex is inclined to be more predatorial or for gaining personal satisfaction. it is actually a rather crude and primal act that is similar to using others like scratching an itch or feeding unless it's also combined with some buffers such as love or at least respect to the others feelings and sense of self (not just sexual). it can have nothing to do with respect for the other person and because it is so personal, it can be very violating leaving very negative results. some people get off by degrading others.

people like to say that sex is just a physical act but it's actually a very emotionally and psychically involvement with the other person which depending on their emotional and mental state/nature and intentions may harm you in very real but less unseen/concrete ways.

this is why we usually seek out those who have our best interests at heart or have some level of respect or care for us when getting involved.

 

Maybe women are usually designed to provide their partners with great pleasure with low libido or maybe you're wrong about women's libido.

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It frightens me to be dependent on anybody...because what that says to me is that that person has the power to harm me terribly...So I'm an adult version of what child behaviorists would call disordered attachment. I can do both the emotional barnacle version and the running away model, and I think the running-away one causes me less problems.

As I've said elsewhere, I do not know why my wife puts up with me.

Yes, there is quite possibly no worse way of damaging a person than to abuse them in a manner involving sex.

As far as the needs of the body, if you have no willing partner around...you have two hands (And two feet if you feel like getting limber enough).

For those with a really high drive, or higher than their partner's, engaging in...ehrm...personal manipulation,:shy: is as much a hygiene requirement as brushing your teeth.

Sex with my spouse is much more about skin-to-skin contact and about feeling connected as it is having a few really good orgasms and conking out.

Even in a committed, loving relationship, the other person is under no obligation to scratch your itches for you...although there should definitely be a good effort to make both parties happy.

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A note on female libido: it tends to increase with age. Men's tend to decrease with age. Some women have taken small doses of testosterone to boost their drive...it does.

 

This may come out as rude but if you are scared to depend on anyone how can you love anyone? After all, love is natures way of beating the bean counters (note below) who are only interested in making sure that they get exactly the same or more beans back than they put in

Note: That comes from a quote in Terry Prachett's the science of the disc world. I cant lay my hand on the book right now to give the exact quote but it goes along the lines of "while an apple is trying to balance the energy expended to make it tasty enough to be eatten in order for the seeds to pass through without wasting energy, the banana goes all out and puts all its energy into taste and alowing the humans to spread its DNA. This is what love is, rather than the bean counters adding up which partner gets the greatest reward for the energy it puts in love goes over the top and says i will put everything into you and i will show you this everyday and therefor leaves the bean counters for dead" (NOT an exact quote)

Sometimes i put alot more effort into my relationship than it feels like i get out and sometimes my partner does but at the end of the day we know that for our efforts we have at least one person in the world who will be there if everything goes to hell in a handbasket.

The funny thing about trust is that my partner has 2 friends she goes out with alot, one is a guy and the other a girl. The women is in what i would class as quite an abusive relationship, she requires permission to do anything, hes quite likly to tell her she cant go out or spend money or whatever. PB asked her did she want to go and do something and the first thing she asked was didnt she have to ring me and ask me if she could do it. When she told me i laughed, i cant imagin the energy you would have to put into being that controling over someone, apart from the attitude that you own the other person it would be so draining on the dominator to have to keep that tight a control on your partner. Sure i will be annoyed if i spent all day cooking something for PB and she just decided to bugger off and didnt bother to let me know but apart from a "hey hun, going out for the night, be home around x" i could care less what she does.

The other thing is when i tell people she is going out with her male friend alot of people ask "arnt you worried she will cheat on you or whatever". Now it just so happens this friend happens to be gay but even if he wasnt, hes a friend she has known since school, if she wants to go out with anyone she can, i will trust her until she shows me a reason NOT to trust her and i expect the same back. Anything else and its not a relationship.

 

That's what I meant about disordered attachment..I love...but I have to fight the urge to run away quite often. Most of the time just emotionally...
One time... I was having a period of significant PTSD symptoms about, meh, four or five years ago when I was in therapy for, um, old junk. A lovely childhood.
So one night I decided I was going to throw a tent and camping gear in my car and disappear, go move to another state and assume a fake identity.
I went home and changed my mind...but I think I slept on the floor instead of in our bed.

It's not that I think she's going to cheat on me...I don't know what she might do. It's not a logical fear. On one level I trust her more than anybody...on the other, I'm still afraid of placing that love and trust in another human being.

It gives them the power...I was going to say destroy me...but that's a bit of melodrama. Hand to the forehead and all that.
If I let someone's behavior destroy me entirely that's with my co-operation.
But...
Loving someone deeply...mind, I've never trusted anyone as much as I trust her...does hand them the power to devastate me by leaving.
This I'm very aware of, and I keep expecting it to happen.

Edited to add...she could leave me, and I'd come to her rescue anyway if she absolutely needed me to after that. I can't exactly say why I'd do that either. I'm a strange one.

 

Are you saying we have to die to accomplish this? Why can't we live in paradise?

 

Um... maybe. Maybe gay men look for other gay men to be gay with- in that regard they are freely gay to do their gay stuff- moreso than women are ready to put out to men.

But that's as far as I will go gay.

In my age I have found that people season with time and become more preferential. At my age (41), I would rather be with a 41 year old woman than an 18 year old. Why? The 18 year old's got her head up her ass with her cell phone/Facebook account/Twitter/text messaging etc.

Find me a 40 year old woman and I will show you someone whose been there, done that and is ready to move on to something real. Same as a gay youth looking for other gay men to be freely gay with; same as crackheads look for crack houses to smoke their crack in.

It's only when you mix "caring" and "love" that you end up with something more complicated than what you started out with.

 

that sucks. you know, reality is we live a communal existence. isolation is death; it drives people insane. so, not only do we have to depend on each other, we have to depend on each other to be fulfilled in life. considering that, does it make sense to be afraid of it? i can very much understand being discerning, but to have fear without discernment just sounds detrimental. have you considered changing your mind?

someone said something to me once regarding my trust issues that couldn't help but change my mind a bit. it didn't get rid of all the good reasons to practice discernment, but it gave me some objectivity i think i needed. they said i was being arrogant. well, they said, "don't you think there's a man in this world who's as trustworthy as you are?"

the "as you are" at the end was what got me really. i mean, i had a long list of valid reasons why i didn't trust them, but to say that there was no man on earth as trustworthy as i was, was a different story, and unrealistic. unfortunately, that was what had been driving my behavior too.

 

i agree with spidergoat on this one. it's all so contrived really that "exotic dancer" is a misnomer.

 

There it is again, women "put out" or they don't. Sex isn't viewed as something they want but something that they let happen to themselves or they dont but not something they would chose to seek

 

Notice how 99% of world's great romantic literature and music is written by MEN?

No point in running around looking for an escape goat among the male population.

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The real problem most feminists have is that they've eaten too many cheese doodles, and are now fat and ugly...unattractive to men, and therefore compelled to blame every little glitch in the solar system on erections!

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Yes Jmpet...All 18 year olds are mindless twits...

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My observation is that men, in general, like porn more than women. If that turns out to be true, then it stands to reason that there is more porn made for gay men than for straight women.

 

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It depends on the type of gay and type of woman, what happend is that gay men are more horny, so they like all good looking men. woman are shier