Survival of the Fittest question

Discussion in 'Biology & Genetics' started by Mike18ca, Feb 11, 2003.

  1. Mike18ca Registered Member

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    this is my 500 word essay. My problem is that I am having difficulty sticking to whether I agree or disagree.
    For school this essay is suppose to be a persuasive essay and I am concerned that I have written more of an informative essay.
    I am not persuaded to either side of this issue so how can I persuade anyone. I believe my essay is agreeing with the survival of the fittest but I can't really finish it off. Tell me what u guys think, and I incourage you to be extremely critical, seriously.


    Survival of the Fittest
    Through out human existence the term ‘survival of the fittest’ has transformed. For humans, early on have relied on our physical abilities to hunt and gather food and in present day rely more on our intellect to survive. Has our physiological evolution come to a halt? Our intellect through out time has produced several technologies that lead to a sedentary life style and has weakened us physically.

    Physical human evolution over time has produced and taken away features to suit our environment. The appendix for example was designed to act as a digestive organ for fibrous carbohydrates such as grass. When we began cooking food and eating other main foods the appendix became unnecessary. One day the appendix may disappear completely. A more important evolutionary step in human survival was the addition of an enzyme called Lipoprotein Lipase. This enzyme’s role has been vital to convert calories to fat and storing them for times when there was no food available for many days. Today in our society there is no need for this enzyme because food is only a drive away. Today we eat so many calories that our body continues to store these calories as fat allowing us to become overweight. In essence, years ago we had to hunt and expend a lot of energy to eat and now we are eating more and as we continue to advance our technology we move less and our bodies cannot evolve fast enough. This is caused by the rapid changes in society and environment affecting the way we live from an active to a sedentary life style.




    Our society and environment has changed, our species pre dominantly uses it’s intellect to survive. Through this intellect, we have developed technology to create our perfect world which includes shelter, nutrition, medical care and anti biotics. Every time our bodies become infected with a sickness we drive to the doctor’s office and get a prescription for anti biotics to cure the sickness. This un-intently has caused our species to have weaker immune systems, immune disorder, super bugs and this new flu. In the past our bodies were continually adapting to sicknesses and our immune system became stronger. The people who could not adapt fast enough would not live. The humans who adapted would reproduce and have strong children inheriting those strong genes past along. Through this intellect we have been able to save more lives and increase our numbers.

    We take care of our weak and sick to the best of our abilities since it is in our nature that everyone survives. That is why we are successful as a species and have vast numbers across the world. However if everyone survives our gene pool continues to weaken through future generations.
     
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  3. Idle Mind What the hell, man? Valued Senior Member

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    Do you want editing for grammar as well? Or only content?

    For starters, you don't seem to be saying much about "survival of the fittest." You are merely stating the ways in which humans have adapted.

    What are you supposed to be discussing about "survival of the fittest"?
     
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  5. spuriousmonkey Banned Banned

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    Darwin didn't first coin the term survival of the fittest. It only came later and basically it caused more confusing about the nature of evolution than any other thing. From your essay I understand that you also misinterpreted the meaning of this term.


    See the growth of biological thought, by Ernst Mayr.
    It was Herbert Spencer who introduced this term to replace 'natural selection'. One reason not to use the term 'survival of the fittest' is because it is basically a tautology. And as mayr states, it also Herbert and this term became the primary spokesman for a social theory based on a brutal struggle. And I see that you also have some kind of association with brutal struggle, looking at your references at physical power and survival.
     
    Last edited: Feb 12, 2003
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  7. wet1 Wanderer Registered Senior Member

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    Survival of the fittest started us on the road to becoming the dominate species. That is no longer true.

    We have reached the point that we now routinely interfer with the process. No longer is survival of the fittest the rule. If it was many of the premature babies would not survive to reach adulthood. Nor would the elderly live the long lives that they now expect to be the rule.

    We as a species have altered that basic rule. In so doing we have altered the world around us...
     
  8. spuriousmonkey Banned Banned

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    24,066
    jesus wet...

    i just pointed out the wrongness of the term survival of the fittest, and you just load some more survival of the fittest on top of a cake crumbling under the weight of too much survival of the fittest.
     
  9. pumpkinsaren'torange Registered Senior Member

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    there is no such thing, anymore, as survival of the fittest.
     
  10. Idle Mind What the hell, man? Valued Senior Member

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    1,709
    Not as far as humans are concerned anyways.
     
  11. John Mace Registered Senior Member

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    101
    Mike:

    I'll be honest, your essay didn't persuade me. It reads more like a few random facts.

    Start out with a statement that you are trying to persude people to believe. Make it a clear statement in a very simple sentenece and use that as the very last sentence in your FIRST paragraph. The sentences before it in the 1st paragraph should give some background (why this topic interest you, what different theories are out there, somthing like that).

    Then list 4 or 5 "big idea" facts that support your position and a few that knock it down. Use those statements as the begging of each following paragraph. Other sentences in the paragraph should give supporting evidence. You may or may not choose to put in your essay some of those ideas that "knock down" your thesis. If you do, have some good counter arguments that show why thise ideas are incorrect.

    If possible, write a catchy summary paragraph at the end. You don't need to introduce new ideas, just give a quick summary with maybe a snappy phrase thrown in to make the reader end on a postive note.

    Good luck. I'd be interested in seeing your next draft.
     
  12. pumpkinsaren'torange Registered Senior Member

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    2,159

    John Mace, you do realize that that's going to be some feat. I mean, for crying out loud...persuading people to believe the way you do about something generally never works. as i pointed out in a few of my other posts..(and, it got me to thinking even more about it) ...i think that we are all biased to our own agendas...do you know what i mean. i mean, some of us say we are open-minded, we would like to think we are..but, when it comes right down to it...what we believe about an issue/s is what we become biased about. If that poor guy, during the first few sentences of writing the essay, is supposed to convince us to change our way of thinking for his well....i dunno. How many essays rarely convince us? do you know what i mean. i think that essays are merely a bit more formalized version of expressing one's feelings.
     
  13. John Mace Registered Senior Member

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    101
    Pumpkin:

    The assignment was to write a persuasive essay. Are you suggesting he redesign the assignment? I suppose there are a few teachers who would accept that, but not many.

    I had a "brutal" English teacher senior year in high school who made us write similar types of essays several times per month. I hated it at the time, but I was able to whip out essays pretty damn quick in college. I guess it was one of those "you'll thank me later" type of things. At any rate, I was detailing for Mike what I remembered of the process we went thru in writing essays.
     
  14. pumpkinsaren'torange Registered Senior Member

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    2,159
    ok. John Mace, write me a persuasive essay to convince me of what you just tried to tell me.

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    i realize his teacher authorized the essay, but, it just can't be done...realistically..it can't be done..
     
  15. John Mace Registered Senior Member

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    101
    Pumpkin:

    Fortunately, my essay writing days are long gone...

    But, taking your argument to it's logical conclusion, you are saying that no one EVER changes his mind based on hearing another person's argument to the contrary. I think it is difficult to to do it, but surely it has been done.

    BTW, no one said the poor kid had to actually change someone's mind. He just has to write the essay. I'm sure what the teacher is getting at is teaching students how to formalize their thoughts and get them down on paper in a cogent manner. It's not exactly like algebra where there's only one answer.

    Anyway, I'd like to see Mike's rev 2 version. I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt that he's just not trying to get some sucker on the board to write it for him-- which is why I didn't, at least in my first response to him, offer any real advice on content.
     
  16. Mike18ca Registered Member

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    First off, I have no intention of anyone writing this for me.

    Secondly, I thank you all for your insight on this.

    I would like to say that this topic specifically is very hard to take one side and write about.

    John Mace, thx for the critiquing, this will help me in structuring future essay's or at least give me an idea.

    Persuasive essay's have never been my strong suit, I like presenting both sides of an arguement and pointing out certain flaws with both sides and doing an analysis, kind of an Informative essay. Well I guess I will have to learn persuasive essay writing styles.

    To note that I have handed in a revised essay in today. It still has some of the problems stated but in terms of linking paragraphs and grammer it is good. I will post what I got on the essay then perhaps go over ways to improve it.

    Assuming some of u are interested.
     
  17. John Mace Registered Senior Member

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    Mike: I'd like to see your final version.
     
  18. Mike18ca Registered Member

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    24
    no problem, will post when teacher hands them back. Estimating Monday. We all know how teachers take their time

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  19. Isarmann Registered Member

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    Do yourself a huuuge favor...

    And read this book: Darwin's Dangerous Idea, by Daniel C. Dennett. He's a modern philosopher, but this is the best treatment and consideration of what the theory of evolution (including "survival of the fittest") is all about that I've ever seen or heard of. He looks at so many things that have come up since Darwin, or that Darwin didn't realize, or that are implications of the idea-- Darwin was just the start of his own idea. Dennett looks at all of the objections to and arguments against Darwin's idea, and refutes them all powerfully. This book will enhance your understanding of the theory of evolution way beyond how well most people understand it, and that understanding will be a powerful resource for the rest of your life...

    Make no mistake, the theory of evolution is to life sciences what relativity is to physics-- the theory for the modern age.

    You owe it to yourself to understand it as deeply as you are able...

    (The original reason I wanted to point out this book, though, is because it's not only on-topic, but it happens to also be an excellent example of persuasive writing. It will make a believer out of you, and in that sense is a great tool and sample of what persuasive writing is about, and what it looks like. To write persuasively on this subject, you could have no better research material than this book.)

    --Isarmann
     
  20. John Mace Registered Senior Member

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    Isarmann:

    I've had that book in my hand a number of times at the bookstore, but never actually bought it. On your recommendation, I'll read it.

    Another good book out recently which is pretty well written is "What it means to be 98% Chimpanzee" by Jonathan Marks. Probably less broad than the "Darwin" book, as it concentrates on human evolution and genes, but it's very readable and exposes a lot of common myths.
     
  21. John Mace Registered Senior Member

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    101
    FYI, Dennett has a new book out "Freedom Evolves", reviewed in today's WSJ.
     
  22. grazzhoppa yawwn Valued Senior Member

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    1,277
    An analysis paper is the same thing as a persuasive essay.

    I've been taught to start an anaylsis of a paper with a thesis statement with something you want to prove, then have at least three points to support (or persuade the reader) of the arguement. You don't have to take sides with a persuasive paper.

    The thing you might be proving is that both sides have an equally good arguement, and your paper would be showing both sides...point and counterpoint in each paragraph, and explain why each is a good/bad point for that side's arguement. Don't think of it as you are just showing one side of the arguement. You're trying to prove something, and it makes for a stronger case if you point out the flaws/good points of both sides.

    You have to work backwards....first you have to do the analysis of what you're interested in, decide where you stand (for, against, or inbetween). Then make a statement about where you stand (without using the word "I") and go back to your initial analysis and find some points that you used to come to your conclusion.

    Your essay is getting there, looking forward to seeing the revised version.
     

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