I think most people have missed the point - it's not about having a problem with masturbation, there are many good reasons that might be needed in a relationship. It's about if it's a problem that they choose to go and jack off instead of having sex with their ready and willing partner.
I don't really get the consent part. You think your partner needs your consent to masturbate on their own? I must say that if I find out that he has masturbated, my ego get's a bit bruised and I feel like I am not satisfying him. I am not as bad as I used to be though, and it doesn't bother me as much anymore. I think that it is impossible for 2 ppl to always be on the same page, when it comes to wanting sex though.
Well there are several things to think about here. One, no I wouldn't be upset about the masturbation in itself, but I might feel like "WTF am I doing wrong?". Then, I would have to think about the fact that EVERYONE masturbates at some point and it's really not personal. Thirdly, I would then sit down with my partner and ask them if we could talk about our sexual relationship and figure out what both of us want, need, and desire. Sex should be an open topic in a relationship. It should not be taboo. If it is, then you have a closed relationship...which sux, IMO, but I can't speak for everyone. So what happens if you want more sex then your partner does? You masturbate. Shit, it's NORMAL. Unless you plan on cheating, which then puts you in the category of Douchebag: Someone who has surpassed the levels of jerk and asshole, however not yet reached fucker or motherfucker (This, of course, is debatable). Not to be confused with douche or as in the female practice of douching. Masturbating is healthy. Having sex is healthy (as long as it is safe and consensual). Talking about sex is healthy (as long as it isn't deragatory and/or harrassing someone).
I happen to be a ready participant in sex, but I have an allergy to sperm so my partner and I don't have intercourse very often. We mutually masturbate but I would never ask him to stop masturbating since i can't give him the release that he needs.
Sad to hear your sexual relationship is limited due to the unfortunate allergic reaction to spermatozoon, but, have you ever thought of just using a condom ? or toys... Anyways, it is great that you are open with each other about masturbation in your relationship. I think the moment we cease to masturabate, wether we are single or involved, is the moment we know we are becoming "too mature", hence, the removal of yet another fun aspect from one's life.
I don't know how people can cease to masturbate. Or think of it as fun rather than as a need. I become distracted and ragey if I don't.
No, sometimes thing aren't always about you. If we never or very rarely had sex then it might be something to discuss, but I know at least for me, sometimes I just want to be alone. I love going for a walk with my puppy or my boyfriend, but sometimes I take a walk by myself. It doesn't mean that I don't love my puppy or my boyfriend anymore or that I don't enjoy taking walks with them. It's just that I can accomplish certain things alone that I'm do occupied to do when with someone else. Sex is no different. When I'm alone there are no distractions and I can partake in things that I don't or can't for whatever reason when I'm with someone else. My partner should be able to understand that.
Not at all. And I assume you mean masturbation? It's a reason, I'll have you, to be upset. It's not a logical one though, because nearly everyone masturbates.
Oh we compensate for my allergy with many things, but i also have a reaction to latex, so most condoms are out of the question.
A long term relationship has many things working against it. The main hurdles are: 1)Blank areas in communication with a partner. This could be expanded to blank areas in knowledge of oneself (early life issues,etc), that may take time to resolve. Having an open regard for such with the partner, could only be beneficial. Both in alleviating these impediments to the relationship, as well as early intervention in (agreeably) getting out of an incompatible relationship. 2)Another is a relationship motivated exclusively, or dominantly, by sexual encounter (sex-centric?). Sharing other non-sexual motivators (such as hobbies, goals, etc.) would seem essential to sustaining a happy relationship. Lacking these alternate agreeable motivators should be a red flag in the direction the relationship is headed. 3)Both members of the relationship have to satisfy the benefits they obtain, from being "alone", bringing those conditions simultaneously, and compatibly, to the relationship at all hours. 4) Cure snoring.
My wifes' vibrator's name is "Michael Scofield" from the TV show "Prison Break". She often goes to visit Michael Scofield. The dildo itself- I bought it for her- wanting her to use it as much as she wants to. My- I whack off regularly, as do all men of all ages. But it's getting more difficult with age. Masturbation is about self-pleasure- it is not an offensive term. And on that note... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzwGfP98vGM
Well there are several different issues mashed together. A) You are not sexually fullfilled B) You think your partner needs your consent to masturbate. C) You think that your partner's masturbation takes something away from you. So, A) Talk to her. Just a hint though, you could first try being a tad more sexy yourself, ie. check your hygene, mood, engage in sufficient foreplay and make sure that on average she enjoys it as much as you do. Sex doesn't have to come out equal each time, but if she is only having 1/3 the orgasms you are, then you might expect her to find release somewhere else. Also don't forget that women are multi-orgasmic and if you stop at just one every time, you are really a poor lover. B) It's her body and she doesn't need your consent to masturbate. Also she can do things to herself that you can't, so relax. Oh, and you can include masturbation into your love making, again, remember that women are multi-orgasmic. C) Having pleasurable orgasms tends to increase desire overall, not reduce it. She's not taking anything away from you. It's not a zero sum game. Arthur
