She's talking about Marcel Proust. Now, some of these women that don't go on second dates can be misleading themselves as you don't always hit it off on the first date anyways. Others may just know you are not what they are into. You seem to be missing the point of fine-tuned personal emotions. You can have a list of all the characteristics of the perfect or ideal companion but that is not the same as actually liking the person no matter how perfect they may act etc.
This kinda proves my point. They mislead themselves because they don't take the time to think about it. They just feel. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Now, before you get the flamethrower out, I understand that there does have to be some feeling there, but all emotion and no logic is just as bad as all logic and no feelings. Those others need to become psychiatrists and behavioral therapists if they can gather that much insight on a person after spending a couple of hours with them. Aside from being interested in a girl, the main reason that I go on a first date (which is usually just a quick meeting for a drink or coffee), is to see if I would want to see them again. And unless they have some blatant deal breaker (i.e. chatty-cathy, snooty, overly annoying mannerisms, etc.), then I usually do want another, more in-depth date. And I've found that a lot of women don't even know what they want/are into.
Absolutely true. And many people pay the price for it, such as abusive relationships by not considering the character of the person. But men do the same thing. But we're still talking about a personal relationship, not a business meeting. So the bottomline is, you have to like the person however that works for you.
Some men do. Not this one. Heh. Even during job interviews, the interviewers are considering how you will fit with the company. They already know you are techincally qualified; your resume would indicate that. But they also have to see how you fit in with the company. Like I said earlier about one date, I don't see how they can be such a good judge of character after 45 minutes. And yes you have to like the person, why else would you be going out on a date with them if you didn't like them or find them attractive?
Well, obviously for whatever reason they weren't interested. Just as you may not be interested in someone after a first date.
I think it is. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! I'm not going to stay on topic: When I look at the sea, I feel expansive and happy, yet sad. It has something to do with my sense of insignificance. I look up at the stars and I feel such an overwhelming sense of beauty and isolation that it hurts. Why should pleasure hurt? What you're saying applies to something mundane like dating, but I don't think that emotion is logical in the way that, say, a programming language is logical. It has its own inner sense, and you're obviously in tune with that inner sense, but that's not the same thing. Of course, he sounds like he could find some good drugs. Yes and no. My father and I are athiests and progressives, the idea of parents having a deciding stake in who their children sleep with is foreign to us. I'm not saying that you are, you misunderstand. I'm saying that nobody can (yet!) quantify emotion to any clinically relevent degree of precision. You're silly for applying logic here. In my opinion. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Instincts have dominated sex for thousands of years. Logic, on the other hand, has been around for about 3000, and it's much better suited to other pursuits. I mean that logic has borders. Of course there's some interlap. And, crazy irrational shit makes the world fun. Sometimes it also leads to millions of people getting killed, though, so perspective is good.
And there would be no way to use it to quantify an individual because emotions are constantly in flux in texture. I think you ever rarely have the exact same emotions. It's a new snowflake everytime.
There have been many men I went on a date with where everything should have been perfect. But most of us women can smell desperation, anger, insincerity, etc. You know, baggage. And sometimes that perfect guy just reminds you too much of your brother. Its either there or its not. You can't fake it....at least not for long. My ex and I were perfect together. Everything was great. He was a biker who was great fun. Always a good time. Until we had our son. I changed, he didn't. The person he knew one month, wasn't the person he knew the next month.
Mike, you're missing an obvious point here. People are attracted to many things, some percentage of which they're not actually aware they're attracted to. Sometimes these are things that remind them of their parents and/or first loves and/or prior lovers. So, for instance, my body may recognize that a girl with larger thighs on a thinner body bares a resemblance to my first great grilfriend (well, not mine, but someones, perhaps). More exactly, the body is simply already wired to associate wider thighs with positive feelings or emotions. And so the sensation of wider thighs gives them "that indescribable feeling" because the conscious mind is never aware of the association going on. Same thing can happen with personality traits. Maybe someone looks at you in a similar way, or looks down when they speak in a similar way, or has a manner of speech that's similar... All of these are things that will trigger certain associations in your not-so-present mind while consciously you aren't thinking about them. There are tons of other reasons "that certain feeling" makes perfect sense.
I'm not sure where the "ugly skanky" part came into the topic (we were originally talking about geeks). Ugly and skanky is a whole other ballgame that does not coincide categorically with "geeky" girls (as the 'unmentioned' counterpart in my statement to geeky guys). There are certainly ugly and skanky men out there, but would you say that the balding fat scheming loser burnout-bum male should be group categorized with the young socially clumsy math enthusiast male? I do agree with the idea of male desperation.......although it is not something to be used as a factor which rivals/compensates for female geekiness. You have to realize that that's just the way men are wired Chemistry is bad? Logical compatibility? Fine - your assumption is rational. Chemistry is irrelevant. She's a healthy female of breeding age. Initiate pair bonding routine followed by insemination. :bugeye:
relationships for geeks were wayyy more difficult before the internet i suppose... now with IM and myspace and the likes it's much easier for social cripples to meet people
Prospects for geeks? Lookin' good: http://www.sciforums.com/showpost.php?p=1493854&postcount=131 Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
I wouldn't say that I am a complete geek or a complete nerd. I love the knowledge that so many of my guy friends possess. Some are music geeks and others love video games and scifi. I love all of it. I am a female. Me liking those things is almost amazing to most guys that I meet. I guess I sometimes "sweep them off of their feet." I have been single always, except for one loving relationship. He found all that stuff about me to be awesome. He was just not ready for a relationship. He also said he deserved someone who was boring. I am attracted to intelligence. He was a jock/nerd. The nerd was what I liked. I want someone that doesn't bore me. A guy being a nerd/geek excites me. I love to talk about scifi and fantasy. I love to play video games even if I am not very good at first. One of my guys friends called me eccentric the other day...haha I am not sure why, though. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! My ex was of a boring uptight sort. I want to walk on furniture, walk around naked, and break things to have sex. Apparently, I should be worried about breaking the couch, neighbors seeing me naked, and breaking the table. I am currently on the search for what I really want. Let me tell you, geek/nerd is high up on my list.
Actually - I'm going to modify my last post: Most common nerdy woman complaint is "How come [insert name] doesn't notice me". For some reason, being 'noticed' by a particular man seems to be a puzzle for women in general, not whether or not they've 'found' someone worthy.
it depends on what the geek is trying to accomplish, but if it's the attraction of a decent woman i would suggest being righteous, brave, and confident in yourself. a lot of geeks i've known are kind of insecure, jaded, and bitter towards women, and they expect the sympathy card to work. it doesn't.
