Ok so no physically tired issues here lol. There will always be physically hotter women and men. He will always be looking/glancing at them, the women that is. This should not be your concern, men are just that way. Like a bug attracted to the light. We are visual creatures and this is hard to overcome. That said, when you are together if he is blatantly and rudely ignoring you to look at others, then you might need to address it or he may not be right for you. You should be an equal and not an object. The bottom line is you have to first love yourself and care about you and be confident that you are special and that if he wants to find someone else so be it. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try your best to make things work. It just means that after doing all of that, he still may decide it's not right, or you may. Can't be afraid to move on if that's the case. Your both very young and will most likely go through some changes which will affect who and what you want from a man. Especially in the next few years. He will always fantasize about other women, at times, even when your having sex. Doesn't mean he doesn't really care for you. Just may have seen something that really turned him on. Thus, why I said to keep in touch with him on his sexual likes and dislikes and turn ons and that will/can change over time as well. Not always. I have met and dated women that were more attractive physically then my wife (before we got married) until they opened their mouth. Seriously. Have you ever met a guy who was attractive until you realized what an ass he was. Didn't that change how you viewed them. Give him some credit here. How much does he really believe that, or are you assuming he thinks this way. I don't want people around me to do these things male or female. When I was younger I saw women in more of a purer stance, but over the years realized that was just a fantasy promoted by society. It's not just him it's how women have been taught to be by society. No way should he be able to sleep around and not you. That is paramount. That has to be mutual. The funny paradox for women who want more sex and better sex and to grow in this area is: 1) Oh honey not the same old sex we have had for the last 10 years 2) Hey honey, where in the hell did you learn how to do that ? Hope this helps. Funny story. My dad is 82, a couple of years ago my mom and dad were at the mall. My dad was at the bottom of the escalator waiting for my mom to come down from her shopping. As my mom was coming down the escalator she could see my dad staring up at her and she started to wave. As she waved he didn't seem to notice so she kept waving. As she got closer to the bottom she realized he was looking at this hot 20 something who was farther down in front of her. LOL, busted. Point being he was 80 at the time. We are all dirty old men in training.
That is not funny Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! hah. But seriously, that's terrible and still kinda unfair. Shouldn't be a norm. No, he's told me that's what he thinks. But I don't mean that he currently sleeps around, hell no. I mean in general when single men sleep around a lot they're praised but when single women do they're condemned. Look, if I'm paying mind to ladylike manners when I'm around, then why can't men just forget that other women exist? They say that it's a "natural" thing that can't be helped when men look at other women, but so are burps, farts, yawns, etc. It *can* be controlled. For god's sake, at least do it when I'm not around. I know he doesn't gawk, he just gives them a quick glance-over, but it's still offensive.
HA, i love hearing women bitching about men checking girls out. I grew up with 2 sisters and had alot of female friends and you know what, a surprising amount of them we avid suporters of AFL. Something to do with the tiny shorts AFL players wearPlease Register or Log in to view the hidden image!Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Both sexes like to look around, this has nothing to do with wether or not your atracted to your own partner. For instance cosmo did a servey of sexual fantasies a while ago and found for men and women the most common fantasy involved there current sexual partner
http://www.afl.com.au/ Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Right, and I'm sure there are older women checking out younger guys all the time. Women may be more clever and less crude about but they do it as well. No harm done with looking or fantasy, just as long as there is no touching.
Cheztoi, Yes it is. My mom even had a laugh. Listen they had been married 50 years at that point. It's ok to accept these realities. What are you going to do, turn back millions of years of evolution and instincts that are designed to continue the species with your boyfriend. You would have to give him a lobotomy. The number one thing IMO that you can do to make a relationship last, and I've been married for 13 years, we dated for 3 years before that. Is to accept the fact that your lover is human and will have lust in their heart, for you and at times for others. The solution is to harness that lust in your direction. It doesn't mean you accept infidelity, it means you realize it's crazy to think they won't lust after others, that they won't fantasize about being with others. If you are constantly worried about him cheating in his heart, he will feel trapped, confined and contolled. He can't be an individual with freewill. That is a death sentence for a relationship. I fantasize about other women all the time, and I very often fantasize about my wife. But I have never cheated on her except in my mind and I expend my energies with her on all levels including sex. So what is the harm in the end if I have lustful thoughts about other women. I know she fantasizes about other men as well, it would be foolish to think she doesn't. This is what Asguard and I are talking about. Society has created this and he has been indoctrinated into this idea. But who are these men sleeping with ? So, there are lots of women sleeping around with them but society wants them to be quiet about it. Women have the same needs and desires as men. But they want/need men to take control in the bedroom so they aren't considered sluts by the men, because society has told them they are if they think this way. If the man doesn't do the nasty with them, they are left to a mediocore sex life for fear of sounding like a slut if they bring up anything unusual. Shame on all of us for this I am just trying to offer some advice, so do with it what you want. But I really thinks it's important at your age to be secure in who you are and not worry about his actions. You have to trust until that trust is broken. If it is, then move on, his loss. You can't go through life worried about where he is and with whom, how would you like it if he did that to you. It's called smothering and being a control freak and nobody wants to be in that situation. That will drive him away and would drive you away as well. So, be the best GF you can be to him, if he doesn't appreciate you and respect you and grow with you then move on. Your original OP was about sex and not enough of it. The question I have, is this about him or you. In other words. Do you think this is a matter of him not being interested enough in you to do it often enough to satisfy your sexual needs. or, Do you think that he is not capable of satisfying you because he just doesn't have the sexual drive you need from your lover in the first place. Maybe that is a good place to start. Another question is: How many times a week or day (lol) do you expect him to take care of you ? That might help define the issue as well.
Your answers are exactly what I needed, jpappl, though I'm sorry this thread has turned out to be mostly about my personal life. I think it's a matter of both, but mostly the first. I mean, I'd love for it to be at least 7+ times a week, but it's more like about 4 times a week, tops. Indeed, shame on you men, I mean, us as a society, for imposing these standards on women. I will take heed to your advice.
bloody hell, 7 times a week, you dont need a guy you need an energiser bunny. Atmitedly thats from a guy with quite a low natural sex drive (and the anti depressents dont help mattersPlease Register or Log in to view the hidden image!)
Women don't have to be masculine to have a high sex drive, they could have normal testosterone but be more sensitive to it.
There is no scientific evidence regarding one gender has more sex drive compared the other one. But a male has to do the same and the only thing for sexual pleasure or reproducing. Female can have pleasure without doing anything required to reproduce. We are living in a male dictated world with cave-man rules; they are being raised by this idea that they have the strongest sex drive and they have to indulge on it. That they can't help being that way (!?) What a... ! No matter a culture is developed, social rules suggests that a female shouldn't be so openly indulgent about it. And conditioned to be that way. And people, mostly females, hence the title, likes to dwell upon that by make it a discussion subject, I guess.
Ok, so do you envision this level of desire to go on for another ten years ? If so, you are either going to have to find a sex partner that can keep up with you or solve the issue by satisfying yourself in between, which is the most realistic option, and best long term option. The other option is, having more than one partner but that doesn't sound like what your after. Another point to consider, is there something that is non-physical here that is making you want sex everyday no matter what. If so, that is different and psychological in nature. In other words. Maybe your afraid that if you don't show sexual interest in him everyday or don't have sex with him everyday, then something is wrong. If that is the case, nobody can satisfy the need because the need is not able to be conquered. You can never reach a level of satisfaction because there is none. However, if it's just plain old fashioned sex and not an emotional issue then you are in luck. Women can get sex anytime they want without even having to pay for it. I agree, just think how lucky 16 yr old boys would be if that attitude would change Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! It's wrong but it will take a long time to change.
I'd hope that my sex drive would remain constant throughout my life, since I don't see it as a bad thing. Maybe it is psychological, I was thinking that I might just use sex to feel closer to him. About the double standard thing - the solution is probably to find someone who acknowledges its bullshit and sees me as an equal. Getting back to the original topic... so what's the conclusion? It's got nothing to do with amount of testosterone then? What's with the prissier women declining sex the most? Or does anyone know someone who defies this?
Not at all. I think it's ok to want to be closer to him and that is what intimacy is about. But it shouldn't be the only way you get closer to him. There is nothing wrong with using your sexuality to tease him without actually having sex either. Men will appreciate it more if you make them work for it sometimes. Don't view it as playing a game in a negative way. It's more about getting him really worked up so that he sees the power you have sexually. This is how women who know what they are doing get men to desire them. Hint, it's not by giving it up at the drop of a hat. I agree. If he is not modern enough to realize that then maybe this will be a dividing issue that you can't get past. Equal has to be defined. Some women want to think that they can do anything a man can do, which is different than whether they should. At some point you have to embrace your womanhood and understand this is important to the man. Would you like a man who dresses like a girl, shaves his legs and acts all prissy ? Testosterone has an impact for sure. But I had a prissier girlfriend that couldn't get enough. Unfortunately she went to school on the other side of the country and it didn't work out. It was fun while it lasted though. Why do prissy women like to get all dolled up in the first place ? To be attractive. I don't think that we can use a wide brush here. I think it's more of an individual thing. But I am sure some prissy attractive women use it as a tool to get more than sex from the man. I had a point regarding all of this. 1) you have a powerful sex drive. Great better than a lack of one. 2) Generally, men like women who try to look their best within reason. Most men don't like the overdone look. Just natural and feminine. 3) Combine the two things above and your answer is clear. Find someone who can help you with your style (clothes, hair, makeup) etc that works best for you and embrace it. You will be more attractive to the men and get more of what you want. That doesn't mean you change who you are and what you believe. Just that you understand we are visual creatures and it is certainly a choice you have.
I'm also more sexual than most of them men I date... but I've never met a guy who sees this as a problem instead of an advantage! As for being prissy, I'm not. I primp myself far less than most of my female companions and most of my interests are stereotyped as "masculine". For example, I'd much rather go to a football game than to go shopping. Most of my boyfriends have bragged about this to their friends who respond by wishing their girlfriends were "more like that." Is it possible that your boyfriend isn't too secure with his masculinity and feels unmanly when he's the one saying "no"? If there is a connection between primping and sexuality, I think it lies in the heightened social conditioning of certain females versus others. Maybe women who endlessly primp themselves are more interested in fitting a traditional female role, which tends to be ornamental and not based on achievement. They might PRETEND to be less sexual than their significant others to avoid the slutbag stigma associated with strong female sexuality. I, personally, would not date a guy who makes me feel guilty just because I enjoy screwing him (to put it bluntly Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!).
*** woot *** Women hating sex - that's a laugh... nearly wet my pants on this one. Great insight into how women operate, guys... Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Every person is different . Men have different sex drives and women have different sex drives . I met women with a very high sex drive, high sex drive, medium sex drive, and nearly zero sex drive . When men talk about sex of course they do not have the same sex drives .
