To spank or not to spank.???

Even a 2 year old knows what will get 'em a smack on the hand... woud you hit a 2 year old.???

To pitcher my mom or dad hittin me at any age... or even yellin at me is bazzarr.!!!

When i was about 23 an layed off from a factory job... for about 6 mounthes i baby set a little girl that was aroun 2 year old an she was as sweet tempered as can be aroun me but was a holey terror when she was wit her parents... an when they cam to pick her up the yellin an smackin her hands started.!!!

IN the beginin they tolt me she was terrified of a vaccumm cleaner when its turned on so please try to avoud usin it if you can... well... in about a houres time she was no longer afrad of vaccumms an woud hold onto it (helpin me) while i vaccummed up bits of paper.!!!

When i firs got the vac out she climed up on the couch an had a sad look on her face... but i had the vac in the middle lof the floor an was playin aroun wit it (not turned on) an havin fun an then she had a smile on her face an soom enuff she wanted to play wit it also... an after a bit i tolt her to get bak up on the couch an watch me vac up som bits of paper i had put on the floor... an i turned on the vac for about 2 seconds an vaced up the paper an said see... the messy paper is gone an ponted out how clean the floor was... an she wasnt all that hapy lookin wit the vac noise but she was far from terrified for that couple of seconds... an then i took the vac bag off an showed her whare the paper had gone an she seemed interested... well i repeted this a few times but each time i woud put mor an mor bits of paper on the floor an leave the vac on longer an longer to vac all the paper up... an ater a while she seemed to get the idea of the purpose of the vac an wasnt at all afrad any mor... her parents coudnt beleive ther eyes when i showed them

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Well anyhow... she wasnt ever "bad" aroun me about 9 houres a day 5 days a week (when her parents wasnt thar) an wit time an patience an williness an the necesary knowledge (all of which many parents dont seem to have enuff of)... i thank a lot of people woud be surprized that ther kids dont need to be hit.!!!

 

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Obvously a fear that you'r parents will hurt you will effect you'r behavior... but dont you at leas agree that havin a child obey you'r wishes out of love an respect is beter than them mindin out of fear.???

I thank a kid whos instilled wit love an respect as a motivatin factor insted of fear based "values" woud be mor apt to behave properly when a parent ant aroun... an as they becom teenagers it coudnt be mor importent that they developed a lifestyle of love an respect for ther parents.!!!

 

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When my dad was in the orfin home (from about 5 to 16) he got his fill of whippins an beatins... but 1 thang that seemed to have realy got to him was bein slaped in the face... an he tolt mom befor i was even borned that he did not want whippins to be a part of the family... an that was aroun 60 year ago when that sort of child rearin wasnt as popular as it is now... an i guess im also surprized that he didnt continue on the cycle of child abuse... cause thats the way thangs seem to work a lot of the time.???

 

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Yes and a world with ferries, unicorns and lollypop mountains would be better too, ak: many children don't respect you no matter how much you respect and love them and see you only as a sugardaddy to abuse for what ever they want.

One of the worst thing in the spanking or no spanking arguments are fools that say what they think based on lofty ideals or minimalist statistic. Although your assumptions are logical they are still assumptions. Some children continue to behave well even when the parents around, some don't, regardless of the punishment method. Teenagers are a different case, having more adult like reasoning abilities and emotional control (but not there yet) they are more prone to being reasoned with or be punished with indirect methods ("you don't get good grades you won't have a phone",etc) and are often to large for corporal punishment, they are also most responsive to military school at this age if all else fails.

Oh and for the love of god could you spell check!

 

That mus have been horrible for all of you... but you know... if you hadnt been turned in thangs coud have been a lot worser... it souns like you realy learned thers a beter way... an mos anybody who is in the habit of spankin coud have got caut up in a situaton like you did... but i dout if many of 'em com out of it a beter parent... good for you an you'r family... mayb what you learned will be pased on to them.!!!

 

well if the groundings worked, when would you get to beat ur children???

 

dude why can't you spell? *edit* is that just ur image?

 

Cool story with the babysitting clueluss! By the way, is you're name seamus by any chance?

Here's my experience with kids; I have a little brother and little sister and I was probably about 15 when my sister was born and 16 when my brother was born.

I've found that little kids always have a reason for why they do things. I've never met a kid that was just naturally mean and wanted to hurt people. That happens when they have anger they need to vent caused by something happening in their life that they don't know how to deal with. Over time these problems get more ingrained into their lifestyle and become harder and harder to recognize and address - because they forget what it was like before the problem started. This is how deep rooted psychological problems get started.

Children always act out of innocence too. When a child does something that they aren't supposed to do, and it's for the first time, it would be wrong in my opinion to spank them or punish them without explaining why it's wrong - because it was out of innocent curiosity.

It's a sad thing that parents are so irritated by a child's curious and inquisitive nature. I'm sure we can all picture a young child asking "why? why? why?" My father was one of those parents that got irritated at that sort of thing. I guess I still harbor some anger about that because he still hasn't changed and he's doing the same things to my little brother and sister as he did to me. My mother on the other hand was too busy to answer questions a lot of the time. I was left to my own devices.

I can imagine nothing more irritating than punishment without an explanation. "Because I said so" is not an explanation. "You'll understand when you're older" is not an explanation. It's hilarious. This same type of parent will say "it's to give them a time of innocence in their life" when it's really just the opposite. Turning them into unquestioning drones is what kills their innocence.

Thinking about it.. kids force parents to confront the things they either never questioned or are too scared to question themselves. By stifling a child's inquisition these parents just create resentment towards themselves manifested in that child. These shitty parents can't run from their own problems because the child's entire life will now reflect it. What goes around comes around. Chris Rock did a joke about this in one of his stand up routines.

I don't know how many times I'd be over at my dad's house (my parents are divorced) and I'd notice something was up with my little brother because he'd be acting kind of funny. All I'd do is ask him what was bothering him and sometimes he'd be reluctant (probably because he tried to work it out with my dad or my step mom who are like the shitty parents I described above and they just ignored him) but eventually I'd find some deeper problem. The one time I found out that the bus driver had put him in a seat with two "bad" kids almost 5 years older than him and they were telling him to say certain curse words and getting him to do things that were getting him in trouble. When I told my dad about this he was furious and probably screamed at the bus driver and got his seat changed.

All I did was pay attention to him and listen to him and treat him as an equal. How could my dad and step mom have missed this? Because they've already closed the lines of communication with their kids and at the time he was only 5.

We live in a world where white is black and black is white.

 

I suspect that sort of thang is mos often caused by poor parentin skills that began earliy in the childs life.!!!

Fare enuff.!!!

Well heres som mor of what you refer to as "Fools-talk"... lol... but my parents never even took thangs away from me or grounded me... mater of fact... they never punished me in an any way... even 1 time when i jus turned 16 an recked the family car by goofin aroun wit it an hit a pole an dented the hood... O man... what a bummer... it was on my birfday... an i stoped by my moms bidness on the way home an tolt her about it... an she said to go home an talk to dad about it... an when i got ther... ther was a new transister radio (my birfday present) settin on the coffee table... an i can still remenber the ill feelin i had in the pit of my stomack as i picked it up an looked at it an told dad how i liked it... but then i tolt him about the wreck... an he said... i know... mom called me an tolt me befor you got here... an he didnt even go out to look at the car then... he tolt me to get estimates an tell 'em insurance wasnt gonna be used so you'r lookin for a low cost repare... an that he woud pay the bill now an i coud pay him bak as i got the money from the job i had... an that was a plan i was very hapy wit an kep my birfday from bein totaly screwed up... or hell... i dont know... mayb i wooud have learned a beter lesson from a good slap to the face... but it sure is a good menory of my dad who died soon after that.!!!

Well i tell you what... i dont have a love for a God... but you mite try prayer... yep... pray in 1 hand that "Pasture Timmy" (me) sarts usin spell check an sht in the other hand an see which 1 fills up fastest... eh

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Again an assumption.

I'm not really going to reply to this because I can't read most of it, but I assure you that any anecdotal evidence about how X and Y worked for you and thus X and Y works for all, is retarded!

That's a nice pancake recipe there, but I think you should lay off the fried pickles in the batter.

If the grounding works, WHY beat your children?

 

I have never spelled good... i learned how to type about 10 years ago by huntin an peckin when i started postin in groops... i suspect brane issues is why i dont spell good... i can look a word up but the instent i look away i dont remenber how to spell it... i have to cc&p the word or i prolly wont spell it rite... i can use spell check an a dictonary an get everthang spelled corectlly but it takes forever... an if i had to use spell check... tryin to post stuff woudnt be worf it... so i mos usualy write the way i normaly talk an thats the way im comfortable doin it... so take it or leave it... this is me an this is as good as its gonna get.!!!

 

Sure... it was an asumpton on my part... an im sure X dont work for all... im jus discusson my opinions an tellin storyes about my childhood.!!!

 

perhaps the only childern that need to spanked are those that are spoiled ?

 

My real name is Tim... but i have only posted at this forem as "cluelusshusbund aka Pasture Timmy"... startin aroun las Chrismus... an yes that kid was sompitn else... smart as coud be... las i herd shes now studyin to be som sort of nurse... i still have som pitchers of when we played outside in the leafs... an in 1 pitcher i had tyed up som little plastic toys (in a circle) to clear nylon strang... an had her to stand under the hangin toys... posin as if she was jugglin... it looked perty good

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An anuther pitcher of after she had eatin spegetty O's... she mostly ate it wit her hands an sauce was smeared from her noise to her chin... lol.!!!

1 time she reached an got a box of cherro O's off the table... i jus watched to see what she woud do... an slowly but surly... she finaly managed to get the hole box of cereal dumped on the floor an i jus let her paly wit it as long as she wanted to... what the hell... she realy seemed focused an interested in gettin the box open at her own pace an consumed wit the expereience.!!!

But i tell you what... givin her the attenton i did was mentaly exaustin after 9 houres an i had it easier when i got called bak to work.!!!

O... dont get me started... but i thank everbody has reasons/causes for what they do.!!!

An thats only the tip of the iceburg of all the influences... includin the particular genes they hapen to wind up wit.!!!

Well it woud add insult to injury to not at leas try an esplane why ther gettin hit.!!!

{quote]
It's a sad thing that parents are so irritated by a child's curious and inquisitive nature. I'm sure we can all picture a young child asking "why? why? why?" My father was one of those parents that got irritated at that sort of thing. I guess I still harbor some anger about that because he still hasn't changed and he's doing the same things to my little brother and sister as he did to me. My mother on the other hand was too busy to answer questions a lot of the time. I was left to my own devices.

I can imagine nothing more irritating than punishment without an explanation. "Because I said so" is not an explanation. "You'll understand when you're older" is not an explanation. It's hilarious. This same type of parent will say "it's to give them a time of innocence in their life" when it's really just the opposite. Turning them into unquestioning drones is what kills their innocence.

Thinking about it.. kids force parents to confront the things they either never questioned or are too scared to question themselves. By stifling a child's inquisition these parents just create resentment towards themselves manifested in that child. These shitty parents can't run from their own problems because the child's entire life will now reflect it. What goes around comes around. Chris Rock did a joke about this in one of his stand up routines.

I don't know how many times I'd be over at my dad's house (my parents are divorced) and I'd notice something was up with my little brother because he'd be acting kind of funny. All I'd do is ask him what was bothering him and sometimes he'd be reluctant (probably because he tried to work it out with my dad or my step mom who are like the shitty parents I described above and they just ignored him) but eventually I'd find some deeper problem. The one time I found out that the bus driver had put him in a seat with two "bad" kids almost 5 years older than him and they were telling him to say certain curse words and getting him to do things that were getting him in trouble. When I told my dad about this he was furious and probably screamed at the bus driver and got his seat changed.

All I did was pay attention to him and listen to him and treat him as an equal. How could my dad and step mom have missed this? Because they've already closed the lines of communication with their kids and at the time he was only 5.

We live in a world where white is black and black is white.[/QUOTE]

It amazes me that kids wind up as good as they do... especialy considerin who mos of 'em are raized by (busy tired frustrated worn-out ignert but well-meanin parents).!!!

 

So a parent spoils ther kid an then spanks 'em for bein spoiled.???

 

you have no idea about me dickhead, i am not a child abuser, i just gave him a short slap accross the back of the legs, perhaps before you call me anmes like child abuser you should look at yourself.

 

hey, just stating it like the state saw it.

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Have you ever tried that line on someone from Denmark!!

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They'll eat you. Alive.
I was brought up with a slap, a belt or a wooden spoon as punishment at home, and ruler or cane at school. It worked, and I don't believe it does any long term harm. You either behave yourself, or get smart/sly to avoid the crap.
Its when physical abuse happens that the law needs to step in, so I guess deterence (making laws against it) is better than convicting someone for over-stepping the mark.

 

Oh do explain, because I agree if the reasoning is "impulse A and B, thought A and B, with ratio between impulse and thought moving to the right with age."

What a sunshine world you must live in! Sure child may not know what is right or wrong but its still endowed with most of the horrible emotions of any other animals: selfishness, power tripping, blood lust. When a child throws a tantrum because it doesn't get what is wants is that the innocents your speaking of? When a child whacks another child over the head with an inanimate object because the other child took something that "belonged" to him (or her, and I have seen female children do it!) how is that innocents, its actions were not because it was abused, or that it saw something on tv, it simply was angry and had a completely natural urge to smite what angered it.

Surely it is, but sometime the "curious and inquisitive nature" of a child is something to get more than irritated at, like when a child throws coins into a fan to see what happens, or become fascinated with how a needle penetrates things and wants to see what or whom it will pierce, or wants to see how loudly its voice can scream the alphabet, etc. Oh and please continue crying a water fall over how adults are imperfect and other unrelated to thread topic issues of injustice in the world.

By all means explain to a child, you will need to reason with them eventually so it best to engrain it in your self habitually and even at the most youngest age its still does good for them in learning language interpretation, but do note that the success of verbal reasoning is almost always directly proportional with age, ranging from completely useless to all you got.

Your talking about a completely different problem than punishment technique, but please continue crying that water fall I think we can run power of it!

10 watts.

20 more watts.

 

not shit!, with country it varies, hey you know what, the sky is blue too!

Sure one can make laws against child abuse, but those laws can be made to distinguish between corporal punishment and abuse.