Teenage 'virginity pledges' are ineffective

Discussion in 'Human Science' started by Syzygys, Dec 29, 2008.

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  1. Medicine*Woman

    Medicine*Woman Jesus: Mythstory--Not History! Valued Senior Member

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    M*W: I'm squeamish about this virginity pledge, too. It's kinda like saving it for daddy. I wonder what is going through the sick minds of those perverted bastards as they hold their young daughters and sway to the music?

    And what about momma? What does she think of this? Why can't girls make the pledge to their mothers? A pledge is a pledge no matter who they make it to.

    Teenagers will be teenagers, especially when the hormones start going beserk. All that pledge will do is make those girls feel like total failures, especially the ones who get pregnant.

    In my day, speaking of anything of a sexual nature was strictly forbidden. I was more open and honest with my own kids, but this virginity pledge baloney borders on the perverse.
     
    Medicine*Woman, Dec 31, 2008
    #21

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  3. Neildo

    Neildo Gone Registered Senior Member

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    They outta call it the Pedo Ball.

    And hey, what do they say? The family that plays together, stays together?

    - N
     
    Neildo, Dec 31, 2008
    #22

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  5. John99

    John99 Banned Banned

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    since it is to stay a virgin then i think some of these posts are obviously a little strange.

    the fact is we cant tell people how to raise their kids.
     
    John99, Dec 31, 2008
    #23

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  7. Neildo

    Neildo Gone Registered Senior Member

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    How else would we have fun with the situation?

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    - N
     
    Neildo, Dec 31, 2008
    #24
  8. John99

    John99 Banned Banned

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    i dont know.
     
    John99, Dec 31, 2008
    #25
  9. Bells

    Bells Staff Member

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    Not really. And not all of the girl's who take the pledge are virgins. Those who have had sex before take it as a pledge to remain 'pure' until they are married.. in that they won't have sex again until marriage. Supposedly.

    That said and done, there is something decidedly strange about the whole thing.

    There is something strange about a girl dressing up in a sexy manner to go out with her Dad to celebrate her virginity and there is something even stranger in the Father's role in the whole thing.

    The strangest thing about the whole thing is that in celebrating the girl's purity or virginity, they are drawing even more attention to her sexuality and the whole concept of sex.. The whole thing is highly sexual.. dressing up sexily to go out with dad.. dancing a slow dance with dad.. exchanging a ring.. then sitting there and watching little girls perform a ballet performance, before having to kneel down in front of a cross draped in white cloth as two men with large swords vow to fight for the girl's virginity..

    The irony would be funny if it wasn't so disturbingly weird. I had wondered about who the father's would be handing over the daughter's virginity or purity in such a fashion. In that how exactly would one broach the subject. Then I stumbled across this comment about the subject of finding a husband..

    Are we going back to the dark ages?
     
    Bells, Dec 31, 2008
    #26
  10. Pronatalist

    Pronatalist Registered Senior Member

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    Making a pledge/commitment to do the right thing, seems a good first step. But if we do the same as the world does, should we expect a different result?

    Then young people wishing to be responsible, should not be drinking either, and should watch who they hang out with, not stay out too late, not spend too much time alone with members of the opposite sex. Instead of all this dating, didn't people used to court, and visit the parents and have chaperones?

    I wouldn't want to have sex with just anybody, but the one I would marry could be quite a temptation, so when I find her, I would want to go ahead and set an early marriage date.

    Responsible sexual behavior also implies taking responsibility for the results, should they for some reason fail to remain chaste. Which means abortion isn't an option, but marriage could be.

    I should also point out, that in the past, before all this contraceptive-excused lax fooling around, teenagers didn't make virginity pledges. It was just the expectation, that most everybody would be virgins until their wedding night. So maybe a poorly-thought-out pledge, for some, isn't a sufficient separation from the decaying social mores of the world. They should also give thought as to how they intend to avoid the temptations, in a society so obsessed with sex as ours is now.
     
    Pronatalist, Dec 31, 2008
    #27
  11. John99

    John99 Banned Banned

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    Bells,

    i did not read the article and i admit i glanced through the op. anyway, i think your wrong about the fathers dancing with their daughters because this is very comon at formal events.

    it depends on how formal though and similar to black tie event or a little below. And these are all types of people. As an example birthday party the father dances with daughter and mother dances with the son. i am surprised you never seen this.

    have you been to any formal parties?
     
    John99, Dec 31, 2008
    #28
  12. iceaura

    iceaura Valued Senior Member

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    Interesting country, or maybe planet, you came from.

    On mine, about 2/3 of all the babies borne into wedlock had less than 7 months gestation in the old days, girls were commonly married within a couple of years of menarche - three or four if upper class and more stringently monitored - the unmarried ones frequently turned to prostitution, and the cathedrals in the larger cities had little doors built into one discreet wall that opened into a small chamber where a baby could be left for the orphanage - an orphanage from which less than half would leave alive.
     
    iceaura, Dec 31, 2008
    #29
  13. Bells

    Bells Staff Member

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    You're still not getting it. There is nothing wrong with parents dancing with their kids. Hell, I've danced with my father a lot of times.. birthdays, weddings, etc.

    But there is something strange in taking your daughter to a ball that celebrates her virginity.. There is something inherently bizarre in teenage girls getting dressed up and dressing up in what can only be called a sexy manner to go on a date with their dad. There is something very strange in taking your daughter to a ball, exchanging vows with your daughter and at times, exchanging rings and then kneeling down in front of a cross draped with white cloth while two guys hold swords over your head, while you lay down white flowers at the base of the cross while reciting some virginity pledge. I don't know about you, but no formal event ever had something like that and if it had, my father would have been the first person to drag me out of there immediately. Do you know why? Because it is strange and creepy.

    You don't think it's strange that a dad takes his daughter (sometimes 4 year old daughter) to a ball to celebrate her virginity and then have said daughter make a vow to him at the ball (and sign a pledge) to remain a virgin? You view that as being just a simple formal dance? Ermm ok. Having been to many formal dances, I can assure you, not once did someone drag out a large wooden cross while little girls dressed as ballerinas danced and twirled around it, and then have my father and I kneel down in front of it while exchanging vows and rings while two men hold swords over our heads, reciting words about fighting for my virginity.
     
    Bells, Dec 31, 2008
    #30
  14. John99

    John99 Banned Banned

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    You cant tell people how to raise their children. i dont know anything about this article, who wrote it or how much is true. its glamour magazine and the other link was removed. To me no matter what people believe i could care less though.

    To be realistic when kids are 17-18 they do what they want. I guess you know that.
     
    Last edited: Dec 31, 2008
    John99, Dec 31, 2008
    #31
  15. John99

    John99 Banned Banned

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    Iceaura, are you like 90 years old?
     
    John99, Dec 31, 2008
    #32
  16. visceral_instinct

    visceral_instinct Monkey see, monkey denigrate Valued Senior Member

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    Virginity pledges, and abstinence before marriage, are a really stupid idea.

    Your sexual drive is a normal part of being human.

    It's SAFE sex that should be emphasized to young people, not NO sex.
     
    visceral_instinct, Dec 31, 2008
    #33
  17. Bells

    Bells Staff Member

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    So you are arguing because you haven't read any of the links of the articles provided and you're disputing the sources? You think all the literature about these pledges, and yes, there is a hell of a lot of it out there, are all lies? If you don't bother reading any of the articles, know little to nothing about it and don't care, why are you even participating in this thread?

    We are not telling people how to raise their children. We are discussing something that some parents do that is, for a lot of people, strange in the manner in which it is done. But then again, we shouldn't bother with you because you haven't read anything about it and couldn't care less.
     
    Bells, Dec 31, 2008
    #34
  18. Captain Kremmen

    Captain Kremmen All aboard, me Hearties! Valued Senior Member

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    You were "Engaged", then.
    In the UK women used to be able to sue if the promise was not carried out.

    In rural areas especially, most women were pregnant when married.
    If a women could not become pregnant, she was not of much use for farming.
     
    Last edited: Dec 31, 2008
    Captain Kremmen, Dec 31, 2008
    #35
  19. distantcube

    distantcube Registered Member

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    Seems like the multiculturalists want us to respect the opinions, traditions, lifestyles and cultures of others... if they are non-white. If you are white, then it's open season.
     
    distantcube, Dec 31, 2008
    #36
  20. Orleander

    Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

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    Yeah, my Mom goes on and on about the high teen pregnancy rate. Its not how it was in her day.

    Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

    There were few unwed teen Moms.
    Yeah, they all got married! My Mom at 19, her sister at 16, etc. I always think of Loretta Lynn getting married at 13. WTF were her folks thinking!?
     
    Orleander, Jan 1, 2009
    #37
  21. John99

    John99 Banned Banned

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    excuse me, i am not arguing.
     
    John99, Jan 1, 2009
    #38
  22. Tiassa

    Tiassa Let us not launch the boat ... Valued Senior Member

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    It's not psychologically healthy behavior

    Creepy, indeed. That's why I included the writing exercise from an old blog post. That wasn't the only one I did on that particular subject:

     
    Tiassa, Jan 1, 2009
    #39
  23. Bells

    Bells Staff Member

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    Keeping up appearances.

    I won't point out the obvious irony.

    It is not just the involvement in her sex life, but the appearance of ownership of the girl's sex life. I cannot even begin to imagine my father saying to me that he would fight to maintain the current status of my vagina, until he hands it over to the man I am going to marry. That is the whole crux of the father's role in the whole thing. The father is seen as the guardian and owner of his daughter's virginity, until such a time as he gives it to her husband. And until she marries, her father is the only man she is allowed to date. In return he is not allowed to look at or think about porn or other women, aside from his wife.

    And people wonder how such pledges fail?
     
    Bells, Jan 1, 2009
    #40
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