I have that same age in my head. I think anything younger then that is just too young, for me anyway.
I would agree, the people I went to school with who started "serious dating" earlier than that were having sex by 8-9th grade, I just think thats far to young to be getting into that kind of crap.
When I spoke it was when I went to school but times have changed and in todays city life if your kids aren't sexualy educated by 6th grade they will be by their classmates that's for certain. One of my friends kids asked me, she was 9 years old, what a blow job was and how to do it. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! I just told her to ask her parents for I don't want to override whatever they want to say about sex with their daughter.
SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2007 Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack. 1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack. 2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counsellors called in for traumatized students and teachers. Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school. 1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies. 2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it. Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students. 1957 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again. 2007 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability. Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbour's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt. 1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman. 2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist. Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school. 1957 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock. 2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons. Scenario: Pedro fails high school English. 1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college. 2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English. Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane pain t bottle, blows up a red ant bed. 1957 - Ants die. 2007 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again. Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him. 1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing. 2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.
My son went to 7th/8th grade dances, but not any dates. He started dating his girlfriend at the beginning of his sophmore year. I was ok with that. Same rules for my daughter. 7th/8th grade dances are fine. Group dating is fine (meeting a bunch of people at the mall, the movies, the rink) starting in 8th grade. Individual dates her sophmore year.
I went on my first date in the 8th grade, it was a double date with my best friend and his girlfriend. In an odd twist of fate, I ended up having sex with the girl (about two months later) at a friend's party (he had one of those legendary "cool parents" [that I so envied] that basically let him do whatever he wanted, including large back yard parties with bonfires and other disreputable attractions). Three days later while sitting at the dinner table with my entire family, my little sister (in 5th grade) says to my dad, "Daddy, what's a blowjob, because Dan gave one to some girl at Kyle's party last week." In that moment time slowed down like in one of those movies, and I swear I saw my fork drop out of my hand and slowly spun as it plummeted [over several minutes] to my plate... crashing and bouncing back up again. My father turned and looked at me and grabbed my by the collar and dragged me outside... paused... and then said, "So, do you think that makes you a man?" And then began to lecture me for about an hour and a half on how stupid I was. ~String
Jesus Christ Cosmic. Corporal Punishment did have its effects you know, Perhaps he couldn't sit still because he got caned by his parents ? I saw public canings in singapore...didn't really like the humiliation factor involved. Makes a child shy. But a useful deterrent. In response to the OP. I suppose 15-16 should be the age. but some kids don't mature until 18.. (like they flip a switch). However, It's not saying that mature kids like to date, or even want to...For some reason, a lot of us(teenagers) simple view it as a waste of time.
I'm not a parent but I've been a child. Kids "mature" too fast these days. They're losing several years of their childhood. This is why so many so-called "adults" are desperately trying to recapture their lost childhood. You can't hold back hormones so you have to let most kids start dating at some point during high school. But to lower the age to junior high school? (I guess they call it "middle school" now.) Or sixth grade??? Kids who aren't even close to puberty? Why do you want to do that to the poor kids? There are so many other fun things they should be doing, that they'll never have another opportunity to do. Romance and sex are things they will be able to do throughout their whole lives. Why push it? "So when did you start dating, Fraggle?" The summer before my senior year in high school, right before my 16th birthday.
well no, i never said i am, i just stated a position, i said this is a hypothecial statement implying that i am not in the position to give the ultimate advice and i would think you would assume as much... i thought this would be a discussion, if not well, this isn't really a parenting forum. i'm not saying its wrong to post such questions here but it would be too much to think of everyones options a real advice. sorry shorty if you think my post wasn't adequate
Age is not a factor. I am a parent and I do not messure my children by what age they are, but by how mature they are. Can they use their common sense? Do they know right from wrong? Some children are ready to start dating at the age of 13 while others start at the age of 20. Talk to your children it is the best way to learn if they are ready or not.
Shorty how would you stop them? If your not going to be able to prevent it isnt it better that they feel they can come to you if they need help rather than that its a big secret they have to hide from you? Put it this way, say you have a daughter and she wanted to date this guy and you forbid it. She does it anyway and gets date raped. Is she going to feel couftable coming to you for surport about this when you forced her to disobey you in the first place? Its better that you surport your kids and give them a safe enviroment to experiment than forcing them to do it WITHOUT your surport. That goes for sex and dating
OMG! Are you kidding me!? Support their experimentation?! And if I don't I would be FORCING them to do it without that support? I am not about to be held hostage by my children. There are things they can do and things they can't do. They know the rules, they know responibility, they know consequences, and they know they can come talk to me.
my daughter is 14, and she has had one boyfriend, (who i wont say anything about), it was just a holding hands thing, she was 13 at the times, she has also got boys who like her, but she is not interested she said to me "i would rather concetrate on my studies, i do not want to be a sad girl who needs a boy on her arm to get anywhere" so i have no problems about my daughter dating before she feels ready. I can understand what Asguard is saying when he say's support your children, if you tell children "NO YOU CANT DO THAT, YOU CANT DO THIS" they will just go and do it anyway, i am not saying its ok for kids to have underage sex, i just think that we should give our kids a break from time to time.
Oh I agree Luci. Some parents micro-manage their kid's lives. I'm just saying, my daughter knows the rules and has known them since 1st grade at least. Dances at 7th grade. group dates 8th-9th grade. dates at 11th grade. In the middle school (6th - 8th) there is now a pregnant 11 yr old. Pregnant by her 13 yr old boyfriend. My daughter and I had a long talk about it. Same with Jamie Spears.
When I was in 5th grade, my parents would drop me off at the movie theater and I would watch the movie with my girlfriend at the time. When the movie was over, we went our separate ways. I don't know if that qualifies, but I would say that is my first memory of dating. By 6th grade, somebody would generally have a party at their house on the weekend, and that's where everybody would go. The parents were there of course, but that didn't mean you couldn't sneak around a bit and make out. I don't think anybody really got anywhere, but it was fun. I would say by the time we were in 8th grade, some of the girls were allowed to go on car dates with guys who were old enough to drive. I had a car date on th e night of my 16th b'day, and that's when I lost it. After that, my parents didn't really check up too much on what I was doing, as long as I was home by 11. FWIW, I think they let my sister start car-dating at about 15. I've got years before I have to decide that sort of thing, but if I had to make that call tomorrow, I would say no way my daughter is leaving my house with anybody until she's in high school(15-16).
Orleander they are your kids, i am look at it from a medical perspective and from the perspective of someone who has known girls who have been raped. If that happens then surport is WAY more important than any rules you chose to set. I just hope that your child doesnt get into the situation where she is to afraid of your displeasure at what she has done to come to you for your surport
I would also like to add that my parents chose to expose us to achole from a very yong age and BOUGHT us our achole for parties so that we wouldnt go and drink ourselves into insencability behind there backs. That way they controled our drinking rather than us going behind there backs to do it I would remind the US people that the drinking age here is 18Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
