so i've been thinking and came to the conclusion that me being introverted is a main cause of some problems i have (i'n not saying my problems are particularly grave, other people have it worse, but over time this really sucks). so i continued to think about that, why am i introverted, do i like people? do i like talking? actually yes. i think of myself as a social person, i like to help and so on, but why am i that quiet and not interacting with other people? communication is the most important thing in society. is it just because i don't fit in society? no, as a matter of fact im not really disliked by anybody worth mentioning, i have no enemys, but also no true friends. i sit arround here at home each day after school totaly bored with my life. when i go out on friday evenings i hang arround with people i know, but that all i do just sit there listening to others... i am irrelevant, if i ceased to exist nothing would change... so how do i talk? how do i make myself noticed? then i realised i'm just a boring person, too selfaware, not wanting to bore some one else, thinking too much about the topic and what the other person might think about me, not taking risks or chances, staying quiet, unnoticed, undlearnung conversation, becoming bored and sad, depressed... so i've started putting myself i situation where i'm forced to talk, interact. I've started new hobby, started to go jogging. but i'm still me, i have my place in society and can't get out. my best friend lives 500 km away and each time i visit him, i feel free, an other person, each time i go on sailing holidays i meet other people on the ship it's great! why can't it be like that here at home... my existence is irrelevant, i go to school and hang arround in front of my pc... this isn't what i expect of life... i want to change this, but how? any advise?
Your existence is irrelevant ONLY if you dont love anything. And I would suggest that if you feel a sense of discomfort with the notion of 'irrelevancy' then youre probably not as irrelevant as you think. A madman never believes he is mad. The notion he might be mad is the beginning of sanity. My suggestion? Kill your computer and every other form of virtually, and start living a real life with real relationships, real books, flesh and blood, bricks and mortar. Once you are stable in reality, fantasy will no longer pose a threat to your happiness.
i have indeed thought about getting rid of my computer but i can't since, i still need it for important stuff. its not that i live in my own world in front of my pc, i don't evan enjoy it really, its just a form of shallow entertainment, that keeps me from going crazy of boredom. a few months ago i had to change school and thankfully everthing is going well there but never hear from my old friends, each time i have to make the effort to contact someone, a few times i tried to organize what we should do in the evenings, phone everyone and then per chance found out they had decided to do something else... those are examples of how i have come to feel irrelevant. btw: i havent heard from anyone since New Year's Eve...
I don't want to sound like an old cliche so I will choose my words carefully. You are young. MANY people have experienced the young/teen "angst" you are experiencing. That doesn't make it any easier. Without getting into the God solution I would normally offer, I will suggest the following: Try to figure out what it is you really love. What you really love to do. What you're passionate about. Do it. Educate yourself about it. You don't have to toss your computer. When we are engaged in fun/exciting/interesting things, we lose our boredom.Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Your friends will change over the course of your life. Many times. Enjoy the ones you have at this time. Don't worry about the old ones. Focus on the new ones you will meet too. Being quiet is not a curse. If you ask people the right questions and get them talking about themselves/their interests, they will think you are the most interesting person they've met.Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! You sound like a wise/introspective person. Do something nice for someone today. You'll feel great. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
You sound like I felt almost all the way up to my Junior year of high school. I never had more than just a few friends, never went out, didn't talk to anyone in school, was really just unnoticed. I never really wanted to be noticed or recognized, I just figured people would start making fun of me again like they used to if I ever did stand out. One of the big things that started bringing me around to being more social and outgoing was my 10th grade year of school, I joined the football team. I was still an outsider and a lot of people made fun of me because I was still a "loser" and wasn't even that good at football or strong enough to stand out. I guess I finally got myself a straw and sucked it up. The other thing I wanted to go was join the Marines, and everyone said would tell me I sucked at football and there wasn't a chance in hell I'd be strong enough to make it in the Marine Corps. That started hitting the right buttons for me because I started a good hobby of working out. Started getting in shape and just talking, helping, and getting help from people who were doing the same things. By my 12th grade year I was still a quiet guy, but I was a far cry from the scrawny kid who always sits in the corner and never spoke. And that last year of football I got some good time one the field, in one of 3 positions depending on what the coach wanted to try. Then I graduated, and enlisted. Now here I am, a Corporal in the Marine Corps after just two years (which is way better than par) and I'm not too bad of a guy to hang around with. Now I still spend a lot of time on my own, that's how I've always been and how I enjoy some of my time. I don't go out to parties a lot of times because I don't find what most other people like to do as fun. So long story short, if you really want to be more sociable, it took me a bit of time to do that. Might take you some too. And I certainly don't like all the people I've met, but oh well that's just part of it. Join a club, sport, find a group, just talk to whoever is next to you. If you can't think of anything to say, "hi" is usually the best start Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
You can be more relaxed around people that don't know you. You don't have to worry what they will either think or say about you because you know that within a few days you'll never probably see them again. That's why your comfortable being away but once you come back you must always try to be on the lookout or on guard as to what you are doing or saying so as not to look like an ass.
I think it’s fair to say that most people have depressive parts in the teenage part of there life. The key is to just keep moving, all things will change down the road, or hope they will.
Well I would just say invisable, that you should take the time to specialize in what ever your interest are, for example keeping you head to the books and study could lead to a new discovery, increaseing your knowledge and understanding. I don't know if youn like research and study, but as a example i have spent 8 hours a day, of every single day doing reasrch and study for about 20 years. i have not missed a day, many of the people that i know just whent away because i was always busy studying. some people use to bother me on purpose just because they never knew any body that was so into study, they thought i was alone, but i liked studing and doing research. If there is one thing that people say about me is that i am smart, some say too smart. Really i always take some time to meet people,help people, teach so kids ect... be socialable but i like study and that requires some time, some time alone that time gives me insight it to things i did not understand before, a focus on understanding and it has lead to many discoveries that remain a mystery to others. so give your self some credit, find out what you could do or learn. you can have the best books and the best teachers and the best colleges but that will not make you the best it is you that have to carry your interest, it is your ambition that defines your acheivement, those that have a ambition in their studies or interest do far better than those that just obtain a degree, it is the ambition that set them apart from the ordinary. so find what it is you like and presue it. Note: life, Daily life is repeative, and so there is a certain amount of complaisance with the repeative, but it provides familiarity and stablity, that tends to lead to boredom. and so you can come to feel invisable. settle for some regular but in other things go all out. DwayneD.L.Rabon
enmos: everything and everybody arround me, i feel, everthing i come in contact with is just a oneway relationship, influencing me from being happy to sad but with no consequence to itself... cosmic: you could be right but i doubt it, sail on a boat with 30-40 people as crew you don't want to make an ass of yourself because because everbody relies on each other to get the boat going, i rather think its because the people that know me have "tagged" me with who they think i am while other people are open to meet me as who i am now... thanks for the answers, they are much apreciated
Hahaha, telling him that isn't going to help. I was seeing a psychiatrist and therapist for 3 years but they didn't help me either, he's never going to get help from charletons! I suggest he look into books about Neuro Lingustic Programming (NLP) and actually try finding books on coping skills, etc.
I didn't say it would help definitely, but at least your chances of resolving the problem increase. At least getting yourself diagnosed would be a start wouldn't you say ?
The don't like diagnosing people because once they do insurance has to pay for the related treatments, etc. Instead they leave you hanging without a diagnosis and just say they're TREATING you and would like to omitt a diagnostic assessment because all that matters is the therpay Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
I don't know where you live, but that's not how things are done here.. By doctor I meant family doctor, general practitioner or whatever it's called in English. He then can refer you to a psychologist.
Would you say you are naturally a quiet person? I am quiet and extremely shy and learning to accept it was an extremely important step, I feel much more comfortable. People would always tell me that I should express myself more, that I should talk more, I would try and not feel comfortable. When I embraced myself I was at peace. You need to look at yourself more carefully. Why does that matter? What do you want from life? Do you want to be popular? Do you want other people to constantly think of you? You've got to sit down and really think about this.
