Thailand military coup, my phones dead, BBC & CNN news dead, Help me!!!!!!!

military coup in bangkok, my mobile is dead, world news channels blocked, all local tv dead.

Im down to my last bottle of beer, state of emergency declared, no water, no food, anyone can help me?

Anyone got a jet plane or helicopter to rescue me, or a flying saucer im not fussy.

Tanks on the streets, should i stand in front of the tanks like the guy in china, or should i stay home?

 

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Help meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, even my email blocked, helppppppppppppppp meeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

 

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just get out while you can is the only advice i can give, surely you have enough money for a one way ticket

 

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get out while you can, just get a one way ticket

with the military in charge things are only going to get worse

 

Take two aspirin, rest in bed and call us in the morning!

Baron Max

 

only problem is your internet is more than likely going to get cut off

 

Most people probably won't even notice any fuckin' differences.

Baron Max

 

theres tanks on the streets here, a one way ticket?

What a one way ticket to hell, with a tank missile up my backside?

I need water i need food, can u send to me?

Do you have a jet plane?

 

Calm down, Vincent, everything is going to be okay ...just don't panic. Take two aspirin, rest in bed and call us tomorrow.

Baron Max

 

I need guns not aspirins, i need laws rockets, i need a machine gun to shoot my way out, i need a tank?

your CIA baron can you use your contacts in bangkok to get me out of here?

 

Just take two whores and call us in the morning.

 

Okay, Vincent, if that's what you want, I'll call my buddies at the CIA and have them send you all the war supplies you need. You go down to the nearest street corner and hold up sigh with big letter .....CIA ...and everything will be delivered to you.

Baron Max

 

All the go go bars have been closed for the night, explosions outside, gunfire, i dont know if i can hold out, i only got a knife as my first line weapon.

Any ideads you said making a home made bomb is easy, then tell me how i may need it fast.

 

Take two whores and make a sex bomb.

 

I have a beard baron should i shave it off? i dont want your boys to take me to guantamino bay or romania thinking im muslim, be sure to tell them im catholic.

 

No problems , Vincent .....
I have survived your situation twice .....I travel a lot

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First : stay out of the firing line - stay at your home or at your hotel !!!!
Two: get a local to go out and buy some water, juice, beers, alcohol and foods - get supplies for 3 days ..... money talks !!!
Three : just wait - and you will have another nice story to tell ...

No problems - take it easy man !!!!

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They could be spys, or military intelligence, ive got all the lights off & practising my american accent, thais love americans.

 

I saw this on net and the first person I thought of was you Vinny! Damn, man! What the hell did you do? I'm sending my St Bernard, Rufus over with a keg of beer around his neck. He's walking/swimming from Brooklyn so give it a wee bit O' time laddy!

 

Nope, sorry, Vincent ......beards are automatic signals for my CIA buddies to wisk people off to the prisons-of-no-return. You're just shit-outt'a-luck unless you shave your face cleanly!

Then be sure to go stand on that street corner holding up the big sign ...my buddies at the CIA will take care of you.

Baron Max

 

THAT WOULD BE PHUCKIN PRICELESS!!!! WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE...

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