A friend of my mom regularly let's her daughter (a toddler) stay at our place, and I like to play with her. She seems very shy of me though. I was thinking, what could be the evolutionary purpose of shyness? It doesn't seem to have any favourable effects for the person that experiences it. Especially since shyness is usually only triggered when encountering a person with good intentions.
lol....everything has evolutionary purpose. Shyness is a defensive mechanism, a way a person reacts to unknown. I am very shy, its of course not something I control, but is part of how I react to new people, based on my past experiences of knowledge of how unpredictable people are and my wish not to hurt people psychologically and physically in any way, in other words being neutral.
Did I claim that it doesn't? The toddler smiles in a shy way when I come near, turns her face away, sometimes even starts crying. I know that she would react different to someone revealing bad intentions. What's the evolutionary purpose of a person not daring to approach someone of the opposite sex, starts stuttering or even sweating and trembling?
What makes you assume that it is a natural behaviour? It could be a learned reaction- some influence of soceity, rather than genes.
I don't think it's really evolutionary at all. It is just the way a person's personality develops. There are so many environmental factors that go into a personality. There must be some combination of factors that cause certain people to not do so well in certain social situations (such as meeting new people). It's a learned behavior.
Shyness is probably a defensive mechanism partly inherited genetically and partly nurtured by environment and upbringing. When a child isn't encouraged to interact, to express themselves socially and to develop a brighter personality, they can end up being shy, meek, miserable and aloof in many situations where for the majority it seems unnatural for them to be so.
Shyness is nice, and Shyness can stop you From doing all the things in life You'd like to So, if there's something you'd like to try If there's something you'd like to try ASK ME - I WON'T SAY "NO" - HOW COULD I ? Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
I for one am very shy and I am going to agree with the defense mechanism theory. Back in my middle school days when I was relatively unpopular some people would ask me not to talk to them and one girl even refused to square dance with me in gym class. It's past experiences like these that make me think twice before I say things for fear of being embarassed.
I used to be very outgoing.. I was in no way shy. I was put on ritalin because of it. Many years later I came to be shy. Why? I can remember that for years I was told to "shut up" and "calm down." After enough punishment for being myself, I think that is why. I am trying to change it, but it's hard... I pretty much experience what is known as "social anxiety." But, oh well, I'm working on it Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Yeah, I experienced social anxiety up until this year actually. I still experience it but I have learned to overcome it. I guess its just something you learn to deal with as you get older. I also find that it is harder for me to be myself around people who already have me classified as a shy kid. I have basically overcome my shyness, but it still shows around people who have known me or known of me throughout high school other than my close freinds. I am excited for college and feel that it won't be hard to make freinds considering people don't already have me classified as shy.
Ouch.. But I think the problem has more to do with your reaction to that experience than the experience itself. My guess is that you experienced a condition that you've never learned how to deal with. It was a shock in the norm, and you reacted inappropriately. Thus, you felt ashamed and that feeling snowballed into a shy kid. Not sure if that's exactly how it happened, but... yea, my point is that incidents like the ones you described are actually quite common... You'll just have to learn to direct them to your preference. Anyway, I think the toddler is just conditioned in a way that she fears socializing with "your kind". Meaning, Perhaps you remind her of someone, brother/father/sister, who doesn't communicate with her often..
well Idk anything about Nietzsche, but it sounds like makeshift might be on to something Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
For me, shyness is fear. Fear of people in general, fear of saying the wrong thing, fear of being rejected, fear of being seen as a stupid, pathetic fool. It's better to be fearless, to realize we're all stupid and pathetic and foolish in our own ways, that the people worth knowing already know this. This leads, eventually, to actually being able to express what you are in a way interesting people find interesting. At least that's been my experience. And hey, if you think it's stupid, I really don't care Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Honestly, I think crippling shyness as we know it is a luxury our ancient ancestors couldn't afford. It's like most neuroses, it's basically such a problem now just because being eaten isn't. And those who had true mental issues back when our species was evolving probably didn't stick around long enough to contribute much to the gene pool.
I'm not sure about shy people being stupid. Shyness is a combination of fear and weakness. Basically the same as insecurity, just surfacing in a different way. I'm ridiculously shy in person, and I admit that it has cost me a lot of opportunities.Therefore, it is a weakness.
I think shyness itself is just lack of social experience....not knowing what to say or do when other people are coming at you. Social anxiety, however, is a lack of certain chemicals in your brain. Maybe shyness is just a very mild version of social anxiety. Both are pretty much the same: the mind going blank, not knowing where to look or what to say....sweaty palms, etc. but one is just far more severe.
Shyness is prudence in a way. Some people are the opposite of shy. They can also get into trouble by being too bold. A perfect balance of both is essential for winning the war.
