The Non-Sequitur Thread

How many pounds of concrete are there in a duck, true or false?

 

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That's four true!

 

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It was Colonel Mustard at the Library with a pipe wrench!

300 posts@!!!1!

 

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A shovel, because whipped cream doesn't have a driver's license.

 

You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take alphorn lessons.

 

Took you long enough.

 

I'm a scientologist, therefore I must jump on couches.

 

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I liked the Dane Cook version of Tom Cruise's appearance on Oprah.. hehe

 

That was indeed a sequitur, you must have not taken your vitamins.

 

`
Absinthe said she would abstain if the worm would...

 

This statement is false, therefore it is a non-sequitur.

 

because An = Bn for all n.

 

Oddly enough, the words "octopus turd" and "speed turd" did not pull up any relevant results on google............argh- I can't take it any more. I think I've run out of intentional non-sequiturs. I hereby announce my retirement.

 

go hang a salami, i'm a lasagna hog

get it?

 

God exists because the Bible said so.

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Oh I cannot take it when people make this argument. A conversation might go like this:

Me: How do you know God exists?
Them: Because the Bible says he does.
Me: How do you know the Bible is right?
Them: Because God was inpiration for the Bible
Me: WTF?
Them: No one can understand God.

WOW is all I can think of.

 

Me neither.
And I'm a Christian!

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It's true, though, that no one can understand God. His attributes are quite unfathomable for the human mind...

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That's not an excuse to not be inquisitive, though...

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I'm monkey, therefore today, it is raining bananas!
So I really like marshmellows....

 

OMG so you are one of them!