God must Be Bored

Discussion in 'Religion Archives' started by Neutrino_Albatross, Apr 26, 2002.

  1. TruthSeeker Fancy Virtual Reality Monkey Valued Senior Member

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    Nahhhhh... better buy him sex toys...
     
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  3. Cactus Jack Death Knight of Northrend Registered Senior Member

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    Satan? You know I think he likes chocolate chip cookies. And think about it, cult members do bake a mean plate of chocolate chip cookies

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    .
     
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  5. onetrikponee Registered Member

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    "Free Will" always makes me laugh...

    I think the devil would like a nice baking cook book. Maybe he might want a set of Legos instead.
     
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  7. Cactus Jack Death Knight of Northrend Registered Senior Member

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    How about the "Black Beard's Gallion" he probably is into pirates and Jolley Rogering. Then we could get God Playmobil, just to be fair.
     
  8. Neutrino_Albatross Legion of Dynamic Discord Registered Senior Member

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    I think we should get God the sex toys since he's monica he'd get good use out of them.
     
  9. Xev Registered Senior Member

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    I'm with Neutrino here.

    Edit to add: Monica L must be the God of the Bible!

    Checkidout!

    David buys a wife with the foreskins of 200 Philestines. Joshua

    Circumcises the children of Isreal a second time.

    And then names a hill after it:

    Damn, the Bible is one weird book!

    And God almost slays somone or other (look, they don't teach this in Sunday School - I forgot who) for not circumsizing a son.

    So, God is very interested in foreskins. Now, who but Monica L would have such an obsession?

    QED!

    I think I just proved the existance of God....:bugeye:
     
    Last edited: Apr 28, 2002
  10. TruthSeeker Fancy Virtual Reality Monkey Valued Senior Member

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    God doesn't want Lego...
     
  11. onetrikponee Registered Member

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    I was talking about the Devil wanting Legos...not God.
    The Devil is a Lego maniac...
     
  12. Xev Registered Senior Member

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    You do realize the absurdity (in every sense of the word!) of discussing what to buy mythical figures?

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    That in mind, I propose that we buy the Devil a Hawaiiarific shirt!
     
  13. Adam §Þ@ç€ MØnk€¥ Registered Senior Member

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    Nothing at all wrong with Hawaiian shirts...
     
  14. Cactus Jack Death Knight of Northrend Registered Senior Member

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    816
    I GOT IT! An easy bake oven for one, Play Doh for the other.
     
  15. SpyFox_the_KMeson Doctorate of Yiffology Registered Senior Member

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    Yummy.

    Nonono, you've got it all wrong! God wants the legos. With infinite imagination I'm sure he could think of a million things to do with legos!

    And Satan, instead of cookies, we should get satan one of those Austin Powers rotating beds like he had on his jumbo jet.
     
  16. Cactus Jack Death Knight of Northrend Registered Senior Member

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    816
    No, Satan needs a collection of Pacino movies.
     
  17. Raithere plagued by infinities Valued Senior Member

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    I think we should get the Devil a gag gift (no reference to Monica intended). He's a mean SOB right?

    How about ice skates... or a sweater.


    More ideas for God's gift:

    How about the proverbial "immovable object"(tm)?
    or
    "The rock so heavy even 'he' can't lift it"(tm)?

    ~Raithere
     
  18. SpyFox_the_KMeson Doctorate of Yiffology Registered Senior Member

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    153
    Oh no!

    OH no! What if god actually made <b>us</b> out of legos?

    And god has already seen all the Pacino movies, he's omnipotent.
     
  19. Inka Cosmic Princess Registered Senior Member

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    Poor guy!!!!
    No piont getting him a whore then is there!!
    Teehee
     
  20. Adam §Þ@ç€ MØnk€¥ Registered Senior Member

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    Inka, I'm shocked! Go wash your mouth out with soap!

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  21. Inka Cosmic Princess Registered Senior Member

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    What(?!) Who's shocked - not you anyway!!!

    Back to the piont> Iyou really wanna piss them both off;
    Give Satan a copy of the bible and God a mirror with "Hail Mary" inscribed backwards on it.

    What worse pressie could you get than a self praising book by your enemy almighty, and the ability to conjure up your worse nightmare!!

    Failing that - my Dad gave me a dancing Santa for xmas thats sad enough to disturb even the most omipresent of deities!!

    Love Ink xxx
     
  22. Adam §Þ@ç€ MØnk€¥ Registered Senior Member

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    Give god a CD of the Billy Ray Cyrus song Achey Breaky Heart, with a note saying "This is YOUR fault!"

    Give the devil a note telling him about god's gift, I'm sure he'd get a chuckle out of it.
     
  23. Pollux V Ra Bless America Registered Senior Member

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    Yes, Xev, yes!! I'd donate one of my own but at the moment I only have two

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    A black one and a brownish one with fish on it. Fish are awsome even though they don't taste good.

    Anyway I think we should get god a good internet connection (heaven must be really far away so DSL might work the best, maybe run it through the huble telescope). Then he could tell us what he wants. It's two gifts in....two!
     

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