I think that any therapy would be improved by getting the patient to look for what is good and functional in himself. In the "therapy" that I received they magnified my faults to the point that my faults were far more important to them and to me than the rest of me was. That's a terrible way to treat anyone.
But it's essential. Wouldn't be therapy if one were just looking at ones strengths, and forgetting about the flaws.The way you describe it sounds like the amount of flaws were a touchy subject that you weren't so anxious of getting in to. But there are nothing that can learn a person more about his own personality than confronting the flaws. When that's done, there's two options: to do something about them and thus, becoming a better person, or, having the knowledge of ones flaws, but leave the personality as it was when one started the therapy, and gain no personal development from the therapy. I'd recommend the first option, though.
That is absolutely true. In fact, there is a huge post modern movement in the schools of therapy to operate from a strengths perspective. The cutting edge therapies are solution focused/oriented therapies. Often the solutions for the "flaws" lie in a person's inner strengths. Exploring how to build on those strengths, while acknowleding presenting probems, is a powerful approach. The solution focused modality (which is a valid therapy model) was devised by Steve de Shazer and Insoo Berg. Also look up the names Scott Miller, Bill O'Hanlon, and Milton Erickson. Irvin Yalom (a genius psychiatrist who taught at Stanford) said something to the effect of "if we relate to people by thinking we can categorize them (and focus only on pathology) then we never nurture the parts, VITAL PARTS, that transcend category"
Hey Meta, Maybe with your therapy they were pointing out what was wrong so it could be identified. kind of like what I wrote way back when. About how you are in serious trouble in different ways if you run a red light. But no one ever stops to thank you for stopping at each red light. It's expected. But Meta, Maybe what you need is a place or person (s) to help you focus on the good IN you! illuminatintherapy is right in that aspect, If your Car isn't broken, you wouldn't take it to the repair shop. Right? Or if you weren't injured, you wouldn't go the ER, right? So of course they would focus on the "Broken" things. Or the issues that needed to be changed or healed. But it does sound like to me, that you need to feel recognized for your strengths. I am not picking on you here at all when I ask this, But do you even recognize when some one IS giving you a compliment, as a compliment? Some times people can feel so much negativity, possibly because that negativity protected them in the past) ... That they can not honestly accept a compliment. They will find ways to how it demeans them. A good goal is to try and recognize positive things. it's hard some times. But it's possible.
words of experience (laugh*) infact, I heard something similar from my sister one time. So she is the one who is wise
What do you think that such a person actually learns? There are all kinds of learning. I think I can live without this one.
In the mental world, focusing on the damage makes the damage worse and keeps it damaged. We are talking about organic things. They have to be allowed to grow to heal damage. They may need help growing, but if the point is to repair the damage, the patients will not get better without nurturing and without making extensive use of the skills that they do have. The sort of therapy that I was tortured by made my problems the central fact of my existence. There was no healing. There was tearing at the wound. It was like trying to mend a hole in a blanket by cutting out the hole. All you get is a bigger hole.
That does suck. I see what you are saying. I know that psychiatry is not at all like it was Ten years ago. I was talking about the initial entering of a therapy, usually they pull out the "wrongs" to identify what is "wrong" with you. Maybe the idea behind the healing process was just to Pull out what was so painful, and then help you heal. But, it doesn't always work that way. I know that at least 12 years ago it was easier to legally hold a person then it is today. Right there that shows some things are changing. Insurance companies are also a bit more wary about psychiatry where as before they more or less agreed with the Shrink. The state (s) have a lot of catching up to do with mental illness. It is usually those people who need the most help, that do not get it because there just isn't any money in helping some one out. Of course I put that bland, but a Doctor will make more on some one who is either on state assistance of some kind, or insurance. If a person is on neither, proving they need the help is harder to do. SOME thing like that, Hey Jshatz, are you still around? Maybe you could clear up the air on that. How much money is involved compared to the actual care given to patients who need it.?
They told me that thirty years ago. The more things change the more they don't change. And then they never let it go. There isn't any money in curing people within a definite timeframe. It is both profitable and gratifying to those who hate people to extend stays as much as they can get away with. No, my experience was as totally vicious and degrading as they could make it. If it had been the forties by the sixties I would have been one of those with missing teeth and dark circles around his eyes.
Of course you can live without it, most people do, don't they? I'm merely suggesting that you may live a better life with that knowledge. What is it possible to learn from reflecting upon oneself?
There is a difference between learning about your faults and making them the defining thing about your life. There is also a difference between learning to live with them and being induced to chase fruitlessly for the rest of your life after an unattainable state of perfection.
You obviously have not been in treatment for awhile. Since managed care, it is difficult to get therapy approved for over 8 sessions. The client has to be really messed up and the clinician has to send in reviews of A.) Why they need more therapy and B.) A transitional plan. There are always people out to make money, but I think you are overgeneralizing therapists. Most therapists truly want to help their clients, and most therapists don't make a ton of money doing so. Did you ever think, Meta, that the way you think about things might be half the reason you have all these problems you profess to have?
Jshatz puts it way better than me so pay his words attention more than mine. All I'm saying is that to improve therapy as a patient of a psychologist, you'd have to be willing to admit that you may have some issues, and then start working on them. It's not about making them define or rule your life, cause that would ultimately depend on the degree of issues and your overall mental health. IF the issues are ruling your life, then you would have to change your perception of yourself and make a life where you aren't ruled by your issues.
That's not the way they do it. They force patients to make those issues central to their lives. Sometimes it's not on purpose. They should know. Anyone who is given the flower of the lotus, meaning some form of anaesthetic drug, feels "good" for a while because the feelings that they get become the center of their attention. I agree one hundred percent that working on the problems improves therapy and is more or less the point of therapy, but the patient's best nature is what is important and needs to be improved on and added to. One eliminates the problems by annexing the problem areas onto his or her good side. The way it has been done when people have tried to "treat" me forced the bad side to take over more and more of the good. They even used drugs and force to do this.
Here you go again with the generalizations. There are over 400 proven models of therapy. I am sure you have had a difficult time with your experience, but don't generalize that "that's not the way they do it". Maybe the ones YOU have experienced. I am sure that this type of thinking continues to keep you bitter and from moving forward. When you take responsibility for your own feelings and behaviors, then you can change them. If you continue to think your feelings, thoughts and behaviors are because of someone/something else, you will never have the control/ownership to change it.
Actually, this kind of thinking helps me tell the horseshit from the horse. When I take responsibility for my own feelings and behaviors, if I have accepted someone's guidance, that guidance is going to have to be pretty good, don't you think?
If you could see the contradiction in what you just said, then perhaps you'd be on the road to recovery. Think about it.
