This seems to be missing. Varying experiences from the mentally ill might be helpful to research scientists, as well as to other mentally ill. Everyone got to see me travel down the rabbit hole today, so I want everyone to know. I am ok. I am looking into long term care facilities. I appreciate everyone's support/tolerance.

So. Here's me. I'm fairly lucid right now, as I am most of the time. I am diagnosed Bipolar type 2 with schizoid features and as being parasuicidal. These wonderfully helpful terms mean this:

Bipolar Disorder type 2:By my understanding you have not evidenced any specific episodes of true mania. Hypomania is common, but tends towards the depressive side.

schizoid features:I am vaguely paranoid at times and have auditory hallucinations when extremely depressed or nearing true mania

parasuicidal: suicidal thoughts are constant the degree of specificity tends to suggest the degree. Suicide as an option as opposed to any X.

I was diagnosed bipolar at age 11. I have been through various types of therapy and have taken many, but not all, combinations of the theme- mood-stabilizer+anti-depressant+anti-psychotic+anti anxiety. My illness was managable for many years. I got my GED. I attended trade school and served an apprenticeship in electricity. I became a journeyman and even woked as a foreman. About 18 months ago, the voices started. I gave up my foreman position. The bipolar episodes over the years had slowly increased in intensity. I sought help. I requested ECT and was denied. Things have kind of gone downhill from there. When I'm not, as I call it, in the rabbit hole, I can look at things objectively. Sometimes I go up above the rabbit hole, feeling invincible and that I can take on the world. Sometimes, when I fall down in the rabbit hole, I become obsessively suicidal and intractable. Logic is not my friend at this point. We have parted company. If I follow any logic it will be a downward spiral.

I call this overall experience the roller coaster. Up,down,up,down. Never related to any particular observable phenomena. It can be odd sometimes. I have found myself hypomanic ata funeral as well as depressed at my own birthday. IT's annoying. Hypomania can last from a few hours to weeks. Depressive episodes tend to last for days to years.

Right now. I am lucid, in a depressed state. I have made an ass of myself wandering about the boards. People were worried. I am sorry. I have spoken to my wife and we are looking into long-term care facilities. I will restrain any further foolishness to this thread. I would invite anyone else who has mental illness to post in this thread as well. If you do not have a mental illness, your questions and support are welcome here.

I had a friend who was the same way. Also another friend who was schizophrenic, so I can relate. You at least seem lucid enough to recognize your situation, which is really a positive step.

I wouldn't say I'm on top of my game, but lucid at least.

So. Here's me. I'm fairly lucid right now, as I am most of the time. I am diagnosed Bipolar type 2 with schizoid features and as being parasuicidal. These wonderfully helpful terms mean this:

Bipolar Disorder type 2:By my understanding you have not evidenced any specific episodes of true mania. Hypomania is common, but tends towards the depressive side.

schizoid features:I am vaguely paranoid at times and have auditory hallucinations when extremely depressed or nearing true mania

parasuicidal: suicidal thoughts are constant the degree of specificity tends to suggest the degree. Suicide as an option as opposed to any X.

I was diagnosed bipolar at age 11. I have been through various types of therapy and have taken many, but not all, combinations of the theme- mood-stabilizer+anti-depressant+anti-psychotic+anti anxiety. My illness was managable for many years. I got my GED. I attended trade school and served an apprenticeship in electricity. I became a journeyman and even woked as a foreman. About 18 months ago, the voices started. I gave up my foreman position. The bipolar episodes over the years had slowly increased in intensity. I sought help. I requested ECT and was denied. Things have kind of gone downhill from there. When I'm not, as I call it, in the rabbit hole, I can look at things objectively. Sometimes I go up above the rabbit hole, feeling invincible and that I can take on the world. Sometimes, when I fall down in the rabbit hole, I become obsessively suicidal and intractable. Logic is not my friend at this point. We have parted company. If I follow any logic it will be a downward spiral.

I call this overall experience the roller coaster. Up,down,up,down. Never related to any particular observable phenomena. It can be odd sometimes. I have found myself hypomanic ata funeral as well as depressed at my own birthday. IT's annoying. Hypomania can last from a few hours to weeks. Depressive episodes tend to last for days to years.

Right now. I am lucid, in a depressed state. I have made an ass of myself wandering about the boards. People were worried. I am sorry. I have spoken to my wife and we are looking into long-term care facilities. I will restrain any further foolishness to this thread. I would invite anyone else who has mental illness to post in this thread as well. If you do not have a mental illness, your questions and support are welcome here.

You sound a lot like my dad, except that he thinks there is nothing wrong with him. He's bi-polar and schizo-affective, and strangely enough, he also studied electronics at a trade school. If I could help you, I'd have already helped him. You're lucky that you acknowledge a problem though. It's almost impossible to get help if you don't think you need it.

When I'm down the rabbit hole, whatever I am obsessing about is all I can acknowledge. Perhaps this is his condition, as well.

What is the hardest part for you to get through?

The hardest part? I'd say the state of being in a mixed state. Where you have lots of energy, don't want to sleep(mania effects) but abhor the idea of DOING anything, increased suicidal thoughts(sometimes called intrusive)(both of which are on the depressive) toss in a bit of undue anxiety(which is something I am told I have, I don't understand it. It's a feeling of icy cold tightness throughout the chest, sometimes accompanied by pains in my head) and just for entertainment-random auditory hallucinations(the most frequent one is that of a large group behind me in the distance-all shrieking at differing pitches. I think of it as Hell's mp3 track.) Or were you looking for just one of these?

The experiences almost never come singly, so I would have a hard time judging how to answer THAT question.:)

One thing that is interesting, I feel is worthy of note. The most 'sane' I have ever felt was during the first 3 years of my apprenticeship as an electrician, during which time I got to be well known for working on things 'hot' that no one else would. I got shocked by everything from 120 volts to 480 volts on a weekly basis.

The hardest part? I'd say the state of being in a mixed state. Where you have lots of energy, don't want to sleep(mania effects) but abhor the idea of DOING anything, increased suicidal thoughts(sometimes called intrusive)(both of which are on the depressive) toss in a bit of undue anxiety(which is something I am told I have, I don't understand it. It's a feeling of icy cold tightness throughout the chest, sometimes accompanied by pains in my head) and just for entertainment-random auditory hallucinations(the most frequent one is that of a large group behind me in the distance-all shrieking at differing pitches. I think of it as Hell's mp3 track.) Or were you looking for just one of these?

The experiences almost never come singly, so I would have a hard time judging how to answer THAT question.:)

Just dont let them get to you.

you can't be serious. How do yoiu not let them get to you?:bugeye: 20 years of psychiatric consumer experience and if only they had simply said,"snap out of it." I'd have been cured.

Sorry. I get alot of such statements IRL I'm not trying to attack you, but you could stand to raise your awareness a bit about mental illness. Saying not to let it get to me is like telling a cancer patient that they should "walk it off"

There must be something positive in it.

Mr. Hamtastic its really hard for people who have never experianced depression to understand it. Its even more difficult when its an illness like bipola which cant be cured, only managed.

The stigma against mental illness and the blame associated with it is something that goverments and health proffessionals have been strugling to change for a long time.

Campaines like "behond blue" (which was started by the victorian goverment), the black dog foundation and life line continue to strugle against these steriotypes but its not easy.

There is something about mental illness that makes people more uncomfertable than "pysical" illness and no matter how many classes on the issue i have i still cant find an adiquiate answer as to why this is the case

Much like fibromyalgia, it can't be "seen".

There must be something positive in it? Why? Is there something positive in polio? Do lepers have a positive experience within their suffering? AIDS patients should be glad they don't need to worry too much about old age?

Let me shut up now. John99 google NAMI.

I was diagnosed bipolar at age 11.

Diagnoses are a tricky thing. Once a person is diagnosed with a particular condition, many doctors and other people then expect the so diagnosed person to behave in a certain way in accordance with the diagnosis, and sanction whenever the person does not behave that way. This way, even an initially erroneous diagnosis can actually become true, or an already existing condition become worse. The "patient" is sometimes even told things like - "Oh, look at you, you've been well for a week, you didn't have any depressed episodes. Something must be wrong with you!"

We tend to identify with the diagnosis, we tend to think that the illness is somehow inextricably related to "who we really are". The consequences of such identification are no good.


I call this overall experience the roller coaster. Up,down,up,down.

Life is like that anyway.
Especially in the West, we have this odd notion that we should always be happy, always be content, always be in a good mood - and if we aren't, we tend to think something is wrong with us.
But life on Earth is a series of ups and downs - sometimes things go well for us, other times not.

:)

Greenburg-I agree. Not to mention one's inherent ability to just generally fuck with a stupid doctor who can't think past his textbooks...(one time I was also diagnosed schizophrenic. during a session I sneezed and said,'I'm cured!' and confused the hell out of the doctor. Been 10 years since then but his expression was PRICELESS)

On another note... I'm ba-ack!

Yes, My incarceration came to an end today. I am(at least temporarily) home. I'll be returning to flaying about in spurious topics and creating cause for debate for the sake of debate. I'll even be back to this thread about the wonders of psychiatry... I am afraid this may be moved to pseudoscience if I do, though. :) I missed you kids!

You feeling better?:)
Im sorry you had to be detained but if it helped you im glad

Ham, so very glad you feel better. How's your wife?

Asguard-Bizarrely enough... not so much. I found a place where I almost fit in :)

Orleander-Thx, she's ok. Been a rougher week for her than me it seems.

...Orleander-Thx, she's ok. Been a rougher week for her than me it seems.

I've been that wife. Its very hard. Does she go to counseling to learn how to handle your ups and downs?

what do you mean?
You mean it didnt help or your not glad to be out or what?

If the second im not actually that surprised, we were on a case while i was doing placements where we had picked up a country pt from the country ambulance and were tranfering him to a hospital to be assesed.

We all knew including the pt that he wouldnt stay in lyle mac because it only has 2 mental health beds and that he would either go to modbury hospital or to glenside psychiatric hospital.

Now i THOUGHT he would want to avoid glenside at all costs because of the stigma around the place ("ohhh its a nut house" ect) but he BEGGED us to try to get him transfered to glenside rather than modbury.

This was because glenside actually has a unit specifically for country people where he was with people he could fit in with and befriend.

Modbury on the other hand just had one psych ward and there for less ability to catter care around there pts.

Orleander-I've told her this repeatedly....

US psychiatric hospitals are not Australian...

As I see it there is the state hospital-for severely low-functioning or dangerous despite meds

then you have the nonprofit-funded "behavioral health hospital" that's where I went. It's dedicated psychiatric facility, just low-budget, more geared towards drug-addicts, which I am not.

then there's the Psych ward in a hospital. These are more like cooling off tanks. These SUCK.

Then there's the insurance-paid psychiatric facilities. These are usually pretty nice. If you'r mid-functioning, these can be a first step to higher functioning.

Then there's the places you only hear rumors about-like the Betty Ford clinic. I understand they can work miracles. I don't have money, privilege, or insurance, so my choices are limited.

This is how it goes: Day 1-Them"Are you feeling like hurting yourself? hearing voices? feeling like hurting anyone else? hallucinating? will you take your meds?" Me-If I tell the truth, my time will be unpleasant...."nope, feel great, bring on the pills, and you sure are a smart doctor" repeat for 7 days, Them-"Are you ready to go home?" Me-"Yep" and here I be.

I was hoping for something more. Or at least a situation where it doesn't matter what I say the situation/experience will be the same.

im sorry to hear that, all i can suggest is that you post and tell your story as widly as possable. Until you actually get a universal system of high level health care i dont see the situation inproving

And im sorry i tried to trick you but even poor health care is better than no health care sadly:(

If your interested i found a serise of stories on how one of the biggest asylems in australia has changed over time from basically worse than a jail and with less care to a fully moden mental health care facility where even the involentarly detained can influance there own care.

This was done through a specific office in the hospital called the office of the pt advocate which deals specifically in advocating for pt rights and welfare with both goverments (policy changes) and doctors (actual changes to specific pt care)

for instance when they first started the policy was for all the women to strip off and walk to the open showers and stand there waiting naked

Now this is oviously not going to help them recover especially when you concider that most of the pts were suffering depression related illness.

Then there was a case where the hospital tried to force a depressed women to have an abortion and when the meternity hospital said it was to late they chucked her in meternity long enough to give bith with almost no care from that hospital and then as soon as she gave birth she went back to the psych hospital where they constantly told her things like "she will never get out", "she would never see her son", "hes better off without her" ect.

It was an APALING level of abuse which made me feel SICK to lission to.

Thanks to the guardianship boards and the related acts, and offices like the pt advocate the standed of "care" has actually reached a level where it can be called care

When my cousin was sucicidle she self commited to a low security ward at the hospital near us and was alowed to come and vist us, go to school during the day and would just sleep there at night. The aim was to give as much autonomy to the pt as possable

there is one other comment i should make about your experiances and that is that the way the health staff have treated you is unaceptable.

Pts should always be able to make there own decisions about health care UNLESS there is a dam good reason why and the only body in australia which can overrule the pt is the guardianship board. Not even the surpreme court can take a case AGAINST a pts wishes. They can only take cases againt someone with medical power of attorney and only in very specific circumstances (for istance they cant take a case of withdrawing treatment from a terminally ill pt)

The legislation is very specific on one point though, ANYONE INVOLVED IN YOUR CARE IN A PROFFESSIONAL CAPACITY CANT MAKE DECISIONS ABOUT THAT CARE. Ie you cant have a parent of an adult child acting as both doctor and MPA. Also it is specific that manditory detention is ONLY the provence of the guardianship board

patient advocacy is what is kind of wrong now, I think. I was telling my wife, if they had said on day one-"You will not get out for at least ten days. You will be on suicide watch continuously. You will be otherwise free to move about the unit and care for your basic needs in private." I wouldn't have been seeking to please them. I hesitate, of course, to say this to any psychiatrist or hospital... they might take me in!

Maybe I should just move to Australia. Could you spare cab fare from Virginia? Just 50 cents per 1/7th(what moron decided this for cab companies!?) mile

you seem fine.

thanks John. so do you.

perhaps we should get together and take over the world? MWAHAHAHAHA

ahem

I mean have a cup of tea.

interesting so you think that reducing a pts autonomy would help them?
im dont nessarly disagree but it seems to be that the way to help someone who is clincially depressed isnt to take away there freedom fully unless apsolutly nessary

Its interesting you say that though because one of the origional pt advocates at this hospital was interviewed. He was telling a story about a pt who was just admited and put on psychotropic drugs which caused him imence inital pain. Now this pt was lying curled up in a ball on a bed in admissions and the advocate went up to him and asked "how are you?"

This was the stupidest question in the world to ask and the pt blew up at him.

Do you wish you were like everyone else in the sense that you didn't have these mental illnesses?

BOH dont you think thats a rather stupid question?

I can tell you from MY OWN experiance the answer will be FUCK YES.
I lost 18 months at uni because of anxiaty and depression while the rest of my class breased through. I STILL have the same problems i just have to fight them down on a DAILY basis.

Futher more i then have to risk NOT being employed because of this at the end if i cant pass the psych exam.

Let me ask you this BOH, if you had AIDs or cancer would YOU wish you didnt?

Do you wish you were like everyone else in the sense that you didn't have these mental illnesses?

Awesome!! A thread similar to Quantum Quack's "Psychosis~ What is it?" thread. That one and several similar, all talking about mental illness and such for some strange reason always been my favoriate threads all in general.

Mr. Hamtastic, I emphysise with your situation, and feel intentions with this thread were superbe. Correct me if I am wrong but it has for the most part turned into discussion about you and your problems and no one yet to comment directly about their problems.

First if I may say you appear very well off as opposed to a great deal of psychotic and generally beat up persons. I have had great experience with suffering and feel that it is a human position to question it in general.


A bit about myself if you will. I enjoy inspiring people on occasion.

For the record, Spidergoat, I have not invented a single problem I have. I do not make up any of it, or anything about it. You once commented this way.
You have said some interesting things about me such as "no one on earth can comprehend the machinery of his mind". Well, if there is such a machinery of mind then it would surely be well suited in surviving difficult circumstances. Anyway, everything i am typing is subject to intense criticism. This is a fundamental flaw in my person, and is easy to pass over, as something insignifigant, although it is entirely real. - for instance imagine someone saying to you "everything I am doing is wrong, I feel"- and you, are a mental health counselor/ psychologist or whatever...... Obvously most people would generally recognize that someone is never doing anything wrong, on average. Also imagine the person, the same person commenting, "I can't even play a video game anymore..." to his sister, mother or someone in general.

People take that harshley and indeed it is odd I am sure to hear it. Well it is entirely possible and the psychology/make up of an individual and the make up of the 'universe' in genral is subject to intensive thought... There is a lot to it.

These things said I feel and hopefully understood, I will clarify my position and writing and mental illness in the paragraph following.

As I was saying, every word that I write, every thing that I do, is subject to an intensive analysis and criticism. It should be clear. It always is clear... So, why is everything I write a mistake? How would someone consider someoens writing all a failure. Perhaps if they are

1) debilitated. : would subject t heir writing to irresponsibility and therefore make what is written at present nothing much less than an "attempt".

(btw these are all qualitys that I have)

2) Struggling with other issues and mental concerns: If the person is struggling with keeping their wires in the right place as should be seen in computers and here related to the mind, it could happen at times that someone is writing in failure.
That their position in the universe is superceeded by their time by themself alone and in the quiet.

Where is the solution to any of this,
and,
as a question what generally touches an individual.

A girlfriend, I have heard stories of this as a possibility. If it is impossible for you to be loved then you are in deep shit, so keeping things in order is of high priority. This world is so individualistc and selfish that it is unimagineable. Although this is what we all love ourselves.
I have someone who I care about, and have found that it gives me something to look forward to.


Best of wishes to those that are going through rough times.

Wow this is incredible you can share this with everyone as I feel a tremendous amount of respect for you sharing it with perfect strangers. I will not pretend to say I know what it must be like or even to tell you what you should do to help yourself.

Had a very good friend who was diagnosed schizophrenic with paranoid and delusional thinking. All I could do was to be his friend as best as I could and try to help him when he was having problems, he committed suicide one day by jumping in front of a bus as just before he did it he said he had to do this to get away for the people after him, and I still think of him all the time and this was 6 years ago.

I have another friend who also has mental problems. His problems are masochistic self image and self worth/value issues. He is a normal looking guy with a steady job and all but his behavior in private is so disturbing that I hardly bring it as it is too disturbing to say. When I asked him one day when I felt it was appropriate or “the right timing” as why he engages in such nasty self abuse (I don’t even know the words to describe the term for his mental illness or what it is he does) he explained he did it because it helped reinforce his nasty feelings about himself.

He was seeking help from a therapist and had also been in a hospital once for suicide but today he seems stable enough to live on his own although know he still engages in his addictive self depraving activities. When I asked him if there was any course to break those behaviors that helped him reinforce those negative feelings about himself he told me that without doing them it made matters worse, while if he did them regularly and got them over with he was fine for several days. Who am I to say? I will say mental illness is a problem that belongs to everyone in society, even those who are not afflicted themselves by a mental illness.

depression can strike anyone unfortunatly. Its one of the biggest growing health problems and i THINK its growing at a more rapid pace than the obesity epidemic.

Just look at the star from All saints who jumped off a building yesterday:(
Its terribly sad, he was one of my favorite actors:(

depression can strike anyone unfortunatly. Its one of the biggest growing health problems and i THINK its growing at a more rapid pace than the obesity epidemic.

Just look at the star from All saints who jumped off a building yesterday:(
Its terribly sad, he was one of my favorite actors:(

yea that is sad; just like the X-files star David D checked himself into treatment for a sex addiction (Guess thatis considered a mental disorder isnt it?), wander what the detals on his addiction are, Hmmm

yea that is sad; just like the X-files star David D checked himself into treatment for a sex addiction (Guess thatis considered a mental disorder isnt it?), wander what the detals on his addiction are, Hmmm

fucking halarious !
in the flick he always had porn lying around !
:eek:

Thanks all for posting. Yes, I use this area to post about my personal experiences, and invite others to do likewise. Mental Illness puts you on the "outside" of the world. If I go up to John Q. Public and say,"I'm hearing other peoples' thoughts. If only people would learn to think more quietly" He'd say,"You are a weirdo. Go take some pills. At least, go away."

BOH-Yes. I would give my front teeth to simply think normally.
Sisyphus-I'm trying to understand. Love for another keeps you going. I got that. I was a bit unclear about the rest. This might be due to a limited understanding on my part.
oiram-thanks for the support. mental illness does affect everyone. it puts a strain on the healthcare system. it increases homelessness. it reduces available minds to work on problems. It also carries a stigma. "sane" people frequently withold good ideas for fear of being called,"insane". Here, at least, in this thread, you can give a testimony to what you experience, and expect support.

Asguard-Yes. Limiting autonomy would be helpful. Autonomy for autonomy's sake is not good. Example: I have children. Given complete autonomy they wouldn't bathe, eat anything but candy, and stay awake until they passed out. As their parent, I set limits on their autonomy. I give them a standard. If they go above the standard, that's good, perhaps they will be rewarded. Fall below it, punishment in the form of rectifying the situation and then being monitored more closely than normal to make sure it is maintained.
It's a balance. A better balance needs to be found in the psychiatric world for patients.

not just the health care systems, the police service especially and the justice system is snowed under by the rates of mental illness combined with idiotic public policies which put things which should be concidered health and makes them crimes (for instance illicit drug use). then there is the whole public welfare system which is tied up by mental health, housing, direct wealfare, child protective services ect.

mental health costs the country more than any other area of health even if you were to concider old age to be health.

in the case of the emergency services im looking for the exact percentage of case load which are specifically mental health cases but from memory its something like 40% ignoring the transfers and pts which call for other reasons who have mental health issues

A better balance needs to be found in the psychiatric world for patients.

A better balance for patients would be more beneficial to me. That is a very hard thing to do when the patients don't tell you what their real problems are. In order to get the proper help that depressed people or any mentally afflicted person needs is to first find out what is making them that way. I've read what you have told the doctors when you arrived at the hospital for help Mr. Hamtastic and you weren't very forthcoming to them about what your actual problem was, besides being suicidal. People have underlying emotional problems to drive them to suicide and it seems you repress yours most of the time, from what I've read in your posts.

You want to know ways of killing yourself but never ask ways of helping yourself , why not? You seem very destructive but never tell anyone what is making you feel that way, why not? I'm a very disturbed person but I let my doctor know why I FEEL that way not that I just want to kill myself. The real breakthrough happens when you can tell others what makes you feel the way you do, not just trying to kill yourself. You'll never get proper treatment unless you can confront your own self doubts and fears and discuss them with someone that wants to help you release you from them.

cosmic i think your being a little harsh. bipolor is no more enviromental than epilepsy is, it can be controled by anti convolsants and lithium but it cant be treated by CBT like clinical depression can be because its NOT clinical depression

What is considered a mental illness and how do you define one?

good question, you could take that two ways, the easiest way is to take the DSM-IV. the other way is to look at anything which significantly inpacts on a persons ability to function and enjoy life. this is more the sort of definition you would get from the WHO's definition of health and wellbeing

cosmictraveler-Thank you for your thoughts.
Let me try, now , with you. I am suicidal. This because a few moments ago I was depressed and now, for no apparent reason, I am entering an increased state of energy. My general affect-through mental control-is neutral. I know this because I have been told this by many Doctors. I have a slightly cold feeling in my chest. Is this anxiety? I have been prescribed anti-anxiety medication for it, but have not been told if it is anxiety. I have nothing to fear. Why would I be anxious? I generally like myself. I'm a good father, a hard-worker, and have a dry sense of humor. If I am smiling, am I happy? Or is smiling just an affect I choose to put on? How about weeping?

I can not recognize emotional stimuli as stimuli, thus have either no or incorrect reaction to it. So. A few years ago, I had to see a brand new fresh out of college therapist. I went and described my day. It had been spent working as an electrician, mostly digging.
He asked,"So how does that make you feel?" My response,"Hot,Sweaty,Dirty." He said,"It doesn't make you angry that you had to dig a ditch?" Me-"No." Him-"Happy you got it done?" Me-"No" Him-"Tell me of something that makes you sad." Me-"Define Sad"
Him-"Something that makes you want to cry" Me-"Breathing"

Suffice it to say that I see things as Black or White, but do not attach an emotional value to them in any way.Some examples of thoughts and my reactions:

Microwaving a puppy-messy, unnecessary(never did this but have heard people laugh about it)
death of a loved one-inconvenient, life altering(my Grandfather died 10 years ago-I was told it was cruel of me to say,"I guess he doesn't have to worry about tennis elbow anymore" but have never been told what about this statement was cruel)
Car accident, no one I know-indifference
Car accident, someone I know was hurt/killed-I got nothing(had this happen a couple of times-like a deleted entry in my brain)
birth of a child-I got nothing(been through this one 5 times. There should be SOME emotional response... but I get nothing)


I feel like a machine that ALMOST works. I am not aware of the things that do not work, nor am I aware of what to do to fix them. I only know that other machines like me are functional. I envy them.

Asguard-Amen brotha!

Oiram-This is my understanding... Any thinking or emotional response that is not socially acceptable is a sign of mental illness. It is not socially acceptable to find murder erotic, therefore...

good question, you could take that two ways, the easiest way is to take the DSM-IV. the other way is to look at anything which significantly inpacts on a persons ability to function and enjoy life. this is more the sort of definition you would get from the WHO's definition of health and wellbeing

Couldn’t mental disorder also include something someone enjoys doing that is not “normal” or is considered dangerous or downright gross? Who is to say it affects their life or prevents them from function other than the way the other people function in life?

Do you have a DSM-IV? If so what does it say about the difference between major metal disorders and minor ones, or is there such a thing?

Also wasn’t Homosexuality once considered a mental disorder? (Just curious) Also what about people who have fetishes are these considered a mental disorder compared to one who might say have diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia with delusional manifestations etc?

Have you ever heard of Auto Erotic Asphyxiation? Knew a woman whose son dies of this but is that really a mental disorder or a physical addiction that went too far?

oiram-auto-erotic asphyxiation is a cause of death. Homosexuality is a mental disorder. Almost EVERYONE has some type of mental disorder. Claustrophobia-disorder Anorexia-illness. One is just abnormal, the other is abnormal and dangerous.

On a side note, I found it intereting that I was involunarily incarcerated on the grounds that,"he is a danger to himself and is UNABLE TO DEFEND HIMSELF FROM THIS DANGER."

I still giggle a bit at that foolishness. I mean, would I have been incarcerated against my will if I had not been a threat to myself but was still unable to defend myself?

Another thing-all of this makes child rearing really bizarre. I'm trying to raise my children to be socially normal and capable of all the emotions that I do not experience. It's an odd feeling when your child cries and you find it intriguing. One of the more despicable things about my illness.

Another thing-all of this makes child rearing really bizarre. I'm trying to raise my children to be socially normal and capable of all the emotions that I do not experience. It's an odd feeling when your child cries and you find it intriguing. One of the more despicable things about my illness.

Well I didn’t know you had children, but that’s just life. There are kids that live with parents that have cancer and some that have parents that sell them for sex when they are 6 years old like the other threat just reported so living with mental illneas is just another thing about life.

What ages are your kids? And as for crying and being intrigued by it, I guess it depends on why the child is crying, if it is because they want candy and don’t get what they want I think this would be different than if they were physically hurt and crying in pain and you were intriuged.

I'm sorry. I'm going to rant and rave now.

i just dont see what the problem is. just tell yourself that your normal.

Soooo at the hospital the day I was released, I was offered some after-care options. One was a 10 day stay in a group home. One was that someone would come visit me at my house. I said yes to the group home. they said there was no space available, but they'd do the home visits until space opened up. I came home. Unsure of what to do or what to expect. My case manager from my local clinic just called and said,"Oh. No, you didn't want to do those." I asked if she was smoking crack and that yes I did want those. She called the hospital and then called me back and said,"No, they say you didn't want any of it and now it is not an option."

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? What the FUCK do I have to do? Maybe I should go on a killing spree, or perhaps using illegal drugs. Maybe then I can get the help I need. STUPID USELESS GODFORSAKEN psychiatry in america

I am suicidal. This because a few moments ago I was depressed and now, for no apparent reason, I am entering an increased state of energy.

:wtf:
Seriously, the flag needs to be called, at some time or another..

john. eat shit and die you useless brainless partial abortion. you seething mass of afterbirth your comments are not worth the shit the rat shits before it's eaten by my cat. go crawl back underneath the pile of pigshit that you were spawned from

didnt you read my post?

Soooo at the hospital the day I was released, I was offered some after-care options. One was a 10 day stay in a group home. One was that someone would come visit me at my house. I said yes to the group home. they said there was no space available, but they'd do the home visits until space opened up. I came home. Unsure of what to do or what to expect. My case manager from my local clinic just called and said,"Oh. No, you didn't want to do those." I asked if she was smoking crack and that yes I did want those. She called the hospital and then called me back and said,"No, they say you didn't want any of it and now it is not an option."

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? What the FUCK do I have to do? Maybe I should go on a killing spree, or perhaps using illegal drugs. Maybe then I can get the help I need. STUPID USELESS GODFORSAKEN psychiatry in america

Stupid existence, I say, you'll survive, Mr Ham, if you mannage, to hold on long enough on killing some other person, as that's just how it works! harharhar!!! Damn other people, too! And the rest of the stuff, that, yeah, is like so totally smart!:)

sisyphus-what? Flag? huh?

John-yes. and I replied.

It's times like this that I genuinely wonder why you opend up a mental illness thread, perhaps your understanding of my flag is not noticed, I :wtf: because killing your self for killing is a stupid reason to kill a living killer. Actually makes logical sense, if you think about it..

how about a pet? like a puppy or something.

Mr Ham,

Sorry about the delay, please check your PM.

uh oh.

Greenburg-I agree. Not to mention one's inherent ability to just generally fuck with a stupid doctor who can't think past his textbooks...(one time I was also diagnosed schizophrenic. during a session I sneezed and said,'I'm cured!' and confused the hell out of the doctor. Been 10 years since then but his expression was PRICELESS)

On another note... I'm ba-ack!

Yes, My incarceration came to an end today. I am(at least temporarily) home. I'll be returning to flaying about in spurious topics and creating cause for debate for the sake of debate. I'll even be back to this thread about the wonders of psychiatry... I am afraid this may be moved to pseudoscience if I do, though. :) I missed you kids!

I for one am happy to see you back here, Mr. Hamtastic. We missed you too! Your wife, I think, came on board here and kept us in the loop. That was well beyond anything you or her needed to do, but it was exemplary to say the least. Kudos to her. She clearly loves you very much. You're a very lucky man.

Mr Ham,

Sorry about the delay, please check your PM.

have someone else open it.

There is not much I can say on the subject of Bipolarism that hasn't already been said. I knew of someone that had a bipolar disorder, he because verbally abusive to his wife, this of course increased when he started drinking alcohol. In the end she divorced him and had to move away because he continued to harass her even after separation.

There wasn't really anything that could be done for him, because he didn't want to do anything to sort it out, he lost his job as a Tutor over it because of his spirally path down.

The only person that has any control over how bad things get is the person that suffers the disorder, it requires them to understand that they are key in how things progress. I mean it's all very well talking to a person about the problem *if* talking about it helps, however it's obvious that sometimes the reactions the person wants to see doesn't happen from the people they want to see it from and this undermines how them listening could help.

This means when talking fails the only person that anyone can turn to is of course themselves and this of course can be a problem, since usually everybody is a little biased about how they view things.

This is why it's good Ham that you want to talk, you want people to listen and you want to engage people in discussion about it. On that note have to tried looking for any Bipolar related forums? I know that there are various self-support group forums online that have discussion forums and chatroom's where sufferers and helpers can talk freely about their ailments, they are more likely to be more qualified in finding help and offering advice.

This of course doesn't mean I'm trying to force you to go to another forum, I just realise that if you truly deep down want to find some help and don't know where to look, it's probably best to look in more than one place alone.

Bipolar Disorder type 2:By my understanding you have not evidenced any specific episodes of true mania. Hypomania is common, but tends towards the depressive side.

For some reason, this is the first thing I saw in your post... probably because I smell BULLSHIT.

Any true case of bipolar will require an actual manic episode followed by severe depression, then it repeats. I hate it when we take something like bipolar and put it onto a continuum. That only gives doctors a reason to prescribe drugs. Odds are you have never seen a manic before, as I have not, either. Mania is VERY rare but once you have ever seen a case, you'll know it. The way to spot them isn't hard. Manics talk very fast (nonstop, basically)... fumble over their own words, mix up ideas mid-sentence, create hundreds of connections between ideas in any time frame, hyperactive in the physical sense, and don't ever seem to sleep more than 4 hours. They might even hallucinate or have delusions.

That's true mania. Between mania and depression is where most people are. But unless a person really hits mania, then they aren't bipolar.

Absane are you in the field of psychology or psychiatry? Do you know these things well? No disrespect intended I am seriously asking..

Absane are you in the field of psychology or psychiatry? Do you know these things well? No disrespect intended I am seriously asking..

No... but ask yourself why every Joe-Blow and Mary-Suck are ADHD, depressed, anxious, or bipolar? All these things are real, but one needs to ask themselves why it's so easy to get diagnosed as such.

I bet you $100 I could get diagnosed as depressed or with ADHD within 1 month.

Someone told me that opressed people are not depressed, therefore I think alot of this stems from society + captalism's way of making us all feel worthless. Examples include working at a dead-end job, having no money, being taxed for living on the earth even though it's not owned! I mean you keep these ideals going and people are bound to be depressed. Exactly why can't I live on any part of land I like, build a home, and have it free because land is free.

People have made others depressed through oppressive acts!

For some reason, this is the first thing I saw in your post... probably because I smell BULLSHIT.

Any true case of bipolar will require an actual manic episode followed by severe depression, then it repeats. I hate it when we take something like bipolar and put it onto a continuum. That only gives doctors a reason to prescribe drugs. Odds are you have never seen a manic before, as I have not, either. Mania is VERY rare but once you have ever seen a case, you'll know it. The way to spot them isn't hard. Manics talk very fast (nonstop, basically)... fumble over their own words, mix up ideas mid-sentence, create hundreds of connections between ideas in any time frame, hyperactive in the physical sense, and don't ever seem to sleep more than 4 hours. They might even hallucinate or have delusions.

That's true mania. Between mania and depression is where most people are. But unless a person really hits mania, then they aren't bipolar.

Bipolar II Disorder--Diagnostic Features (DSM-IV, p. 359)
The essential feature of Bipolar II Disorder is a clinical course that is characterized by the occurrence of one or more Major Depressive Episodes accompanied by at least one Hypomanic Episode. Hypomanic Episodes should not be confused with the several days of euthymia that may follow remission of a Major Depressive Episode. Episodes of Substance- Induced Mood Disorder (due to the direct effects of a medication, or other somatic treatments for depression, a drug of abuse, or toxin exposure) or of Mood Disorder Due to a General Medical Condition do not count toward a diagnosis of Bipolar I Disorder. In addition, the episodes are not better accounted for by Schizoaffective Disorder and are not superimposed on Schizophrenia, Schizophreniform Disorder, Delusional Disorder, or Psychotic Disorder Not Otherwise Specified. . . .

You were saying? Next time at least ask google before waving around your bigoted ignorance for everyone to see.

As far as faking mental illness. Go get diagnosed. Go into therapy. Maintain your falsehood for a year. Then turn it off. The diagnosis is easy. Maintaining the diagnosis is hard unless it's true.

Q-I know. She's pretty awesome isn't she?

Stryder-yes. To make a very bad comparison discussing being bipolar with other people with mental illness is like being a baptist having a religious discussion with a Roman Catholic and a Jesuit. No real new good info, just my life sucks worse than yours sucks. I have, in this thread, been guilty of telling you how much my life sucks. I hope, though that anyone with a mental illness or a mental health background will feel like it's ok to post here. This is a resource for me, yes. It's truly intended as a resource for all. I still do wander to other boards, but seldom post. I don't feel like there is any THINKING that gets done there, ya know?

Darksidzz-Is this a political commentary?

Q-I know. She's pretty awesome isn't she?

Like I said, pal, you're one lucky guy. Don't ever lose her. Women who are devoted to their husbands as she is are few and far between.

oiram, mr ham

firstly here is the DSM-IV http://allpsych.com/disorders/dsm.html

secondly yes homosexuality was concidered to be a mental illness but its not any more, people who are homosexual are at greater RISK of mental illness becauase of increased risk of HIV and the opression but in and of itself homosexuality isnt.

for something to be a disorder it needs to negitivly impact your own life or cause damage to someone elses

for instance pediphilia is a mental illness

oh one other thing.

Mr hamtastic diognosing anxiaty is relitivly easy, all the symptioms are signs of symptomeic arousal (flight or fight responce)

for isntance:
increased heart rate
chest pain
rapid shallow breathing
mussle twitching
nausia

psychologically the greatest symptioms are a REALLY strong disire to run away (which i didnt even notice when i had my first panic atack to be honest, i just drove away for a reason i only realised was stupid latter) and fear

Thanks Asguard. I wish there were physiological signs given for each major emotion, so I could recognize them. At least I know for sure what anxiety and fear are. Is anxiety an emotion? It all confuses the crap out of me, I think I'll start a thread on this in general philosophy.

Mr hamtastic diognosing anxiaty is relitivly easy, all the symptioms are signs of symptomeic arousal (flight or fight responce)
Except when they misdiagnose by stating you have it and it's something else entirely.

your right the same symptioms can be a hear attack which was what i thought it was

Tch not even that: no I meant a diagnosis of anxiety when the symptoms aren't there.

so. if you have the physiological symptoms of anxiety and it's not a heart attack it's a misdiagnosis of anxiety? I'm confused.

Where did I say the physiological symptoms were there?
I have been diagnosed as depressive and they immediately sent me for for anxiety management (based on one interview of ten minutes - that was the "diagnosis").

You're right. That is silly. A complete waste of your time. I'm sorry.

No prob.

oil that could because there is a current theory that all (clinical) depression except bipolar develops out of anxiaty disorder

Possibly: but making that decision without even asking me basic questions?
I did half of the sessions I was supposed to go to and when asked if it had helped any my answer was that not one single thing discussed related to me at all.

No... but ask yourself why every Joe-Blow and Mary-Suck are ADHD, depressed, anxious, or bipolar? All these things are real, but one needs to ask themselves why it's so easy to get diagnosed as such.

I bet you $100 I could get diagnosed as depressed or with ADHD within 1 month.

I bet I could do it in one day......... I think the push is by the drug companies to sell medications, and the therapist also get a split and make money treating people who might not need treatment.

oh i agree, there is a standed set of questions for dignosing BOTH mood disorders AND anxiaty disorders and the answers to all of those should alow the psych to determine if its one or the other or both

Life in a nutshell. It's all a decision. Perhaps I am normal and these drugs are just impeding me being normal. I just have to make a decision. Am I normal? Yes. No more meds for me. No need to fear suicide, not like suicide will fall from the sky upon me, death could, but suicide is a decision. If I declare that I want to make a decision regarding suicide I am offering the state an opportunity to intervene. If I want to die then I will. Simple. All these emotions that everyone talks about are just decisions in disguise. I can decide to portray whatever is the appropriate emotion, though shedding tears will be a stretch. It's all suddenly very clear. I feel stupid for not having realized it before. There is no help because no help is needed. There is no cure because there is no disease. It's just natural selection playing out. I've reproduced, so I have accomplished all that is required of me biologically. Wow. It suddenly seems so simple, so clear. I dunno, it's like a circuit turned on in the back of my head. To live or not to live is my decision alone.

Just try what i told you. when you have anxiety attack just ride it out. when you feel different jusy say 'i am normal, everyone else is crazy'. i dont see what is wrong with being a little crazy but YOU, YOU have to contrtol it. You can do it.

It's just natural selection playing out. I've reproduced, so I have accomplished all that is required of me biologically. Wow. It suddenly seems so simple, so clear. I dunno, it's like a circuit turned on in the back of my head. To live or not to live is my decision alone.

nothing is really required of us. time passes by so quickly, so quickly. this is all there is. the only requirement to life is to wake up every morning, the aint no great f'ng mysteries going to be revealed to you.

wish in one hand, shit in the other.

Mr ham anxiaty can be controled by some simple tricks. your heart rate and other arosal is linked both to the concious and the sub concious. for instance if you increase your breathing your heart rate and BP will rise to match

the reverse is true too, what they taught me was a technique called diaphramatic breathing which is also used by divers to control panic and in playing wind and brass instriments and singing to control breath output.

if you concentrate on slowing your breathing rate you can control the anxiaty

also deep mussle relaxation helps to, and no it isnt a form of massarge. so can meditation if you can do it

Just try what i told you. when you have anxiety attack just ride it out. when you feel different jusy say 'i am normal, everyone else is crazy'. i dont see what is wrong with being a little crazy but YOU, YOU have to contrtol it. You can do it.



nothing is really required of us. time passes by so quickly, so quickly. this is all there is. the only requirement to life is to wake up every morning, the aint no great f'ng mysteries going to be revealed to you.

wish in one hand, shit in the other.

I’d rather wish in both hands if that’s ok…
But I know a guy that likes shit so maybe he shit’s in both hands… Is that a mental disorder if a person likes shit? I’d think so but then again I’m not a shrink.

I've spoken with the other me's(yes I know it's weird but it's how I've always thought) and our conclusion was that in the absence of any hope for a cure what must be done was to strip away the things causing difficulty. I was only functioning on fear and sadness, and I'll not be controlled by them anymore. I am now just The Machine. My job is to protect my progeny and give them the best possible springboard to jump into adulthood. If I have an anxiety attack I will use an old trick which is to punch yourself in the stomach as hard as you can until the sensation goes away.

things are going well, but my wife is insisting that I continue taking my medication. I understand that you can have an intense trip if you do 1000mgs or more of effexor. I think I have an approximate stockpile of 80 or 90 Gs of them.(I know I know. That's enough to kill several horses.) I'm just free thinking here, of course.

I’d rather wish in both hands if that’s ok…
But I know a guy that likes shit so maybe he shit’s in both hands… Is that a mental disorder if a person likes shit? I’d think so but then again I’m not a shrink.

i am just rting to help.

fleh

I've stayed away from this thread, but I'm going to bitch for a moment. Tomorrow, I get to go to an appointment with my "case worke" whose job, apparently, is to find busy work for me. "You can go to work retreading tires, or cleaning, or auto detailing. We'll even send you to school!" Give me a break. I want to be a janitor, car detailer, or tire retreader like I want to sleep in bed with a few dozen spiders. What garbage.

I've mentioned my thought processes on other parts of the board, and I don't think it would be wise to bring them up to the psychiatrist. Especially the fact that I think I may have an interdimensional parasite on the top of my brain. That it is the one with the tendrils. Or the existence of Ironwulf, Psyrix, Edgar, and the machine. I find my mental illness somewhat entertaining, in a bizarre way, but I'm afraid they have a way of silencing my friends, and that I'd be very lonely in their absence.

Mr Hamtastic, what about going to uni to study something?
after all if they will pay for you to be educated you might as well use that and you can cut a uni course down to 4 units (one subject, 8 hours) a semester which means the work load shouldnt be to hard

That's just it. they won't pay for something soooo.... useful. They have to make sure that whatever they help me learn is menial to point of being degrading. Did I mention that I have been declared incompetent? My wife is now my legal representative.

based on what?

As i said in another thread discussing guardianship and power of attorney, mental illness is excluded from the medical power of attorney. Only the guardianship board can comit someone and only THEY can take your over your finantials without your written concent (Enduring power of attoney, finantial)

Your countries way of treating the mentally ill sickens me:(

I know a bit about power of attorney, guardianship and medical power of attorney.

Not only am i currently filling out a medical power of attorney for uni (i was going to do one anyway because PB and i are defacto so i wanted to give her something she could actually hand to a doctor if she was questioned on her power)

Not only that my mother was granted power of guardianship over her aunt because she had alzimers and no other family. So i know what the guardianship board is like too (for mum it was a MASSIVE pain in the ass)

Not here. I get disability payments, or rather, my wife gets them. See, I'm not allowed to just receive them, because I'd do something silly with the money. I'm not allowed to own a gun(one of our little constitutional amendments). I'm not allowed to enter contracts, and I'm not supposed to have a bank account just in my name. The mentally ill are subcitizens. Think pets. Just below there.

<sigh> another day. My wife has given me plenty of chores to do to keep me busy. Fleh.

The mentally ill are subcitizens. Think pets. Just below there.

Do you feel like a hamster at times?

q-no, I'm too big to be a hamster. perhaps a pig of some kind.

Fucking Bipolar Disorder. Fucking Borderline personality disorder. Fucking medications. Fucking Hypersensitivity. I fucking hate it all. It's all useless goddamned fucking garbage.

Mr ham there is no way in hell you have borderline personality disorder.

in fact if you did you wouldnt be upset if your wife was pissed off at you because you wouldnt care less about anyone.

That's my current diagnosis. Bipolar disorder and Borderline personality disorder. I feel like my brain is vibrating. I'm experiencing every event twice. What do they tell me? "Only YEARS of therapy will help you. Might as well get used to it." NOBODY will lidten to me. I'm asking to try ECT. They say,"No, you are just trying to find a way to harm yourself" I say, "I'm a fucking electrician you douchebag. If I want to harm myself with electricity I don't need anesthesia and a fucking Doctor to oversee it. ECT causes a seizure. It's like a reset button. With ECT maybe I could maintain my FUCKING sanity for more than a few FUCKING HOURS at a TIME!!!!"

Please have your wife read the link, you should also.

http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articlemc.aspx?cp-documentid=10010016&GT1=32023

Ah well. A down day after all my recent up days. I'm struggling to just stay conscious, much less accomplish anything. To think. A year ago I was a successful electrical foreman, drove a company van, made 28 dollars an hour. Then the problems and errors in thought set in. Now I'm not even allowed to make legal decisions regarding my self, and live off 1100 a month. Not that I see any of it, It all goes to my wife. We get some for the kids too. So, for a year, I have been fighting to get a set of treatments that will allow me to reattain my previous position. All to find out that it will be YEARS before I can go back to work. By that time I will be so out of date about electricity that I'll need to be completely retrained.

And CT- I don't guess there are any stories of how a person with Bipolar had a GOOD life, is there?

One thing about having a mental illness. You feel guilty as shit for having "down" days. You feel like you are letting everyone down. Perhaps you are. Thus the vicious cycle. I feel down. I feel guilty about feeling down. I feel more down. I feel guilty for feeling more down. Repeat ad nauseum.

Oh you poor thing. Do everyone a favor and blow your silly head off. What a waste of air.

XPsyrixX has the same IP address as Mr. Hamtastic and one other member.

You're all but spamming this fact. What does this have to do with anything? I must live near to them or something, so what?