what exactly does that mean?
i went to a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with postpartum depression so severe it bordered on psychosis. i was in treatment and moved. i felt, do to circumstances changing, that i no longer needed the treatment and asked the help of my doctor in coming off the medication. granted, i hate medication, but i honestly felt better. the symptoms returned. only the next psychiatrist i saw diagnosed me with regular old clinical depression and psychosis.
in both diagnoses, the only real information i recieved on them i got from the internet. neither doctors could tell me what exactly that means or why i have it, other than the fact that i'm in a bad way and it is genetic.
my biggest problem with it is the medication. i hate taking the damned meds and would do almost anything to stop taking them.
i had to stop smoking marijuana around the time i developed the symptoms the first time but started again shortly after moving. i had to quit again, maybe this time, for good. it would seem that quitting smoking is what triggered the onset of my symptoms. but i've read literature that smoking can actually lead to depression and literature that claims that it can't.
i'm really confused.
if being like this is a result of quitting smoking, well i'm going to have to fine a way to make it work.
but i'd like informed opinions before i make any decisions. especially in light of the fact that i'm on medications: risperdal and zoloft. the zoloft, i'm told is something that won't even help my condition, but i was instructed to continue taking it. so far i've had my share of lexapro and effexor as well.
somebody, anybody, help.

An internet forum like this one is not the best place to get medical advice.

The only comment I would make is that staying off the marijuana is probably a good idea, especially since you're on other medication. Mixing drugs is generally a bad idea. Also, long-term use of marijuana is unlikely to help in terms of psychosis.

James is right; if you remember from the hash threads, marijuana can exacerbate symptoms and expression of psychosis. I would follow the doctors advice.

i really hate that medication. really.

I am sure that your doctor told you reduce the dosage of your medication over a period of time. There are some medications that come with instructions telling you to reduce the dosage over a period of three weeks, but it may be actually better to reduce your dosage over a period of four or five weeks for some people. Most people experience some side effects when they are weaning themselves off of the medication. You might want to try some natural things like exercise or meditation to get over your depression.

You might find some helpful information at this website.

http://www.healthyplace.com

i really hate that medication. really.


Why do you hate it so much?

Why do you hate it so much?

it makes me tired. and i have an irrational fear of medication. :)

I think exercise helps with depression but you still have to take medication to begin with.

Maybe you could have it with honey; that's what I do.

*long-suffering sigh!*

i admit the effects were almost instaneous. i feel better. i just fear having to rely on it forever to feel better. at least i liked smoking. the doc told me i might never be rid of it.
...maybe i just don't like psychiatrists. don't trust 'em.

it makes me tired.

Tired? That's all?
You've got it easy then.
Most people on anti-psychotics complain that the pills take their souls...
In other words, they leave you empty and practically lifeless.

Sedated. And safe.

Tired would be a blessing to some.

Tired? That's all?
You've got it easy then.
Most people on anti-psychotics complain that the pills take their souls...
In other words, they leave you empty and practically lifeless.

Sedated. And safe.

Tired would be a blessing to some.

he hasn't upped the dosage yet (thank god). i know exactly what you're talking about. that's the main reason i begged the doctor to take me off them the first time.
ever met one of those people that can't wait for summer in the winter and vice versa? me. while in the depths of depression i'd do anything, anything, to feel better. medication made the feelings go away, but left me feeling like a dark lake on a windless day. so then i found myself willing to sacrifice the freedom from despair for the ability to feel. even if it was only despair.

[medical depression with psychosis] ... what exactly does that mean?


It is often largely about what they used to call "growing up", or the reluctance to do so.

--- Ron.

...maybe i just don't like psychiatrists. don't trust 'em.
Oh no. Please don't go down the route of the scientologists "PSYCHIATRY IS EVIL"

*shudder*

It is often largely about what they used to call "growing up", or the reluctance to do so.

--- Ron.

it's funny you should say that. i first exhibited symptoms shortly after having an epiphone(?) in my senior literature class. i asked myself what i was doing there? it seemed a voice outside my own conscious thought answered me. "to get up at an ungodly hour everyday to sit in a class you hate so you can learn to do something you hate so that you can spend the rest of your miserable life getting up at an ungodly hour to go to a job you hate." that was the beginning of the end.

communist:
i fear scientologists more than i fear psychiatrists. :D

Did he say depression and psychosis or a psychotic depression? There is a difference.

Did he say depression and psychosis or a psychotic depression? There is a difference.

clinical depression so severe it bordered on psychosis. so i'm thinking depression and psychosis.

That sounds like a psychotic depression. I suggest clarifying your diagnosis with your psychiatrist and then you can easily research on a site like this:

http://www.mhsanctuary.com/

marijuana can exacerbate symptoms and expression of psychosis.
I agree, but paradoxically, so can the stress of quitting something you are used to.

*grrr!*
so then what am i supposed to do?!
wait, that was rhetorical.
alright. i will continue the life of sobriety. if nothing else, it will help me get over the psychological addiction i'm sure i was in the grip of. i still think of it, but the drive to do so has gone. i would like to, but the thought of going without no longer irritates me.
i have a serious problem talking to the doctor though. any suggestions on getting over my office shyness?

could it be possible that the stress of fearing capture paired with the frustration of being "oppressed" in that situation, induced the paranoid psychosis?
maybe i should just move to jamaica... :D

" any suggestions on getting over my office shyness?"

Use the telephone or write a letter

Psychosis happens when you get stuck with outdated models of how the World is.

Somebody in deep grief might find peculiar ways to deny the fact of death.

A conspiracy theorist inextricably glued to a particular theory reinterprets the evidence to maintain the theory at all costs.

Somebody reluctant to grow up assumes that the World is there to look after us and thinks "victim" when it fails to.


suggestions on getting over my office shyness?

Be the boss.

It is your day, your scene, your opportunity.

To get back to reality is to let go of the weight of the baggage, to convince yourself that the rest of your life starts from here, from now, from scratch, as is, real time, to make what you will of it.

--- Ron.

Psychosis happens when you get stuck with outdated models of how the World is.

Somebody in deep grief might find peculiar ways to deny the fact of death.

A conspiracy theorist inextricably glued to a particular theory reinterprets the evidence to maintain the theory at all costs.

Somebody reluctant to grow up assumes that the World is there to look after us and thinks "victim" when it fails to.




Be the boss.

It is your day, your scene, your opportunity.

To get back to reality is to let go of the weight of the baggage, to convince yourself that the rest of your life starts from here, from now, from scratch, as is, real time, to make what you will of it.

--- Ron.

that's the problem, ron. i've tried to think of what exactly it could be that brings on the darkness. i know the world is not a pretty place and i accept that only the very priveledged or lucky get to do what they enjoy to make a living. i honestly don't think that's my problem. when i feel like that, it's an objectless kind of despair. i just feel worthless, ugly, stupid, weak, etc. for no reason. all of the sudden, out of nowhere a minor upset sends me spiraling off into irrational sadness or rage or both. it's like the emotions go unchecked and overflow or something.
most of the time i feel little or nothing. but when i do, it's overkill. does that make any sense?

.... i just feel worthless, ugly, stupid, weak, etc. for no reason. all of the sudden, out of nowhere a minor upset sends me spiraling off into irrational sadness or rage or both. it's like the emotions go unchecked and overflow or something.
most of the time i feel little or nothing. but when i do, it's overkill. does that make any sense?

This is victim, isn't it, victim of life?

Growing up hurts. There is a grief to letting go of being looked after. I have had to do a lot of it recently, wailing for what I will never see again, people and places gone forever.

C'est la vie. You are not the only one.

They say that if it doesn't kill you, then you'll be stronger because of it.

There is a calm sea on the far side of the storm, if you sail straight through it.

--- Ron.

so what you're saying is i need to refuse to feel sorry for myself when the episode hits?

DONT TRUST DOCTORS, ANY FARTHER THAN YOU CAN THROW THEM. PERIOD.

they tell you.. what the parmicuticals tell them.

if in time.. they find out.. they were wrong.. ops.. sorry.. but the drugs we were giving you may cause cancer... then they will offer you something else.

if i had gone to the doctor, i would probubly be dead, because they would have put me on viox... and or celebrex..... which kill people.
and i never would of discovered FISH OIL... which works better than any drug.


if your depressed... try drugs... legal over the counter.. like saint johns wort, and ginko biloba...

im totally lazy.. depressed all the time.. fatigued.. or i used to be.

now i take fish oil, ginko, ginsing, and dhea.... and i feel great, energized and able to take on any challenge before me.

but no doctor would have offered me those drugs... they dont get incentives to suggest cheap over the counter herbs.

i dont trust medical doctors.

-MT.

so what you're saying is i need to refuse to feel sorry for myself when the episode hits?

Do the opposite.
Indulge emotionally and hang on to your head as best you can.
Ride the storm.
It feels like it is going to go on forever but it doesn't.

--- Ron.

if your depressed... try drugs... legal over the counter.. like saint johns wort, and ginko biloba...



I have used Saint Johns Wort, as a tea, with some success.

It is not a cure but it can help to get you through a bad day when you need to.

--- Ron.

i never thought of it before. i always feel like such a loser for giving into it in the first place. it never occured to me that i could just let it happen and be glad when it's over? :eek:
...in all seriousness...i'm terrified...

Yes, in all seriousness this is what happens, the great terror of life catches up with us. It creeps up like a wild beast, behind the illusions.

So what exactly then is the fear of? The unknown? A loss of control?

What would you do in the wilderness, with no social pressure, no preconceived program to live up to? Your own animal instinct is where the strength is. Otherwise you are a victim forever, a toy for the doctor to play with.

Sometimes it all seems to go, like there is nothing left, nothing to live for. Then I find it helps to stop eating, to fast, to recuperate. The eventual hunger brings back the will to live.

--- Ron.

i've fasted before. i found it an almost spiritual experience. maybe i'll try that.
hey, ron...thanks

Take care.

Fasting sharpens the mind, which is risky under stress, in case of anger.

A sharp mind helps though to get a grip on reality.

When an emotional indulgence arises from a fiction rather than a fact the effect is to intensify the delusion.

As from tomorrow morning I may not be around so much, for a while at least, but do let us know how you get on.

--- Ron.

what exactly does that mean?
i went to a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with postpartum depression so severe it bordered on psychosis. i was in treatment and moved. i felt, do to circumstances changing, that i no longer needed the treatment and asked the help of my doctor in coming off the medication. granted, i hate medication, but i honestly felt better. the symptoms returned. only the next psychiatrist i saw diagnosed me with regular old clinical depression and psychosis.
in both diagnoses, the only real information i recieved on them i got from the internet. neither doctors could tell me what exactly that means or why i have it, other than the fact that i'm in a bad way and it is genetic.

clinical depression means it's more serious than the regular blues (see wikipedia for more details). i'm sure you went to a psychiatrist because the problem seemed serious, not just because you were sad for a day or two. psychosis means detachment from reality (no, not naivete, actual derangement).

what's genetic in your case: depression or psychosis? if it is genetic, it means you're pre-disposed to it. pregnancy or quitting smoking might have triggered it, but so could anything else.

don't be afraid to ask your doctor to explain further, in layman's terms.

my biggest problem with it is the medication. i hate taking the damned meds and would do almost anything to stop taking them.

your fear of medication appears irrational so far. read up on the stuff you're taking.



in dealing with depression, changes do help. try new stuff. stop washing or shaving. sleep less or more. seriously.

;)

alright. i saw him again yesterday. i asked him exactly what i had and he said it was psychotic depression (is that different than depression with psychosis?) with elements of schizophrenia(?!?), it is genetic (every maternal generation), and it will never go away completely (i can only keep it at a minimum if i stop it now, and take my medicine like a good girl).
he has me on risperidone. i forgot to take it last night and a nightmare.
i dreamed that i had to go to see my last doc. one more time. she wasn't there, though, so i had to deal with her number 1, a young prick. we're talking, and i'm telling him that his diagnosis is wrong because my present doc says this is what it is and i agree based on what i've read. he insists i'm wrong and tells me i have to take a shot of something because of my current state of mind. i wanna know what it is and what it's for. he spews medical nonsense at me. in english, please. he can't do it. i refuse to take it. he says i'm going to get it anyway. i make a run for it. he gives chase. eventually, i make it to safety and try to tell everyone that he insane and trying to give me a shot for something he can't explain to me (ie. UNNECESSARY). no one believes me. i even tell my husband who acts like he has every intention of telling the guy off and giving him a good punch in the nose but after he comes out of the office he acts as if he doesn't believe me either, not really. i start to wonder if i'm being irrationally paranoid and i need the shot after all but i'm scared to take it. i wake up so scared i can't move for a moment or two.
is this dream the result of not taking my medicine for one night?

alright. i saw him again yesterday. i asked him exactly what i had and he said it was psychotic depression (is that different than depression with psychosis?) with elements of schizophrenia(?!?), it is genetic (every maternal generation), and it will never go away completely (i can only keep it at a minimum if i stop it now, and take my medicine like a good girl).

Psychotic depression is the most severe kind of depression: "The person experiences moments of delusional or paranoid being. During such an episode, synesthesia may occur, including audio-visual hallucinations and erratic behavior. Psychotic depression is a chronic, cyclic condition. In general, the patient may have unremarkable general depressive episodes marked by moments of extreme psychoses. Unfortunately, suicide is most prevalent in patients affected by psychotic episodes. Increased stress and chemical abuse can initiate a psychotic episode." (from wikipedia. don't you just love wiki?) As I understand, depression with psychosis would mean that the depression and psychosis are separate.

Myah, it appears you've said good-bye to mary and other illegal drugs for good. And don't fool around with the drugs you're prescribed, take the medicine like you're told.

he has me on risperidone. i forgot to take it last night and a nightmare.
i dreamed that i had to go to see my last doc. one more time. she wasn't there, though, so i had to deal with her number 1, a young prick. we're talking, and i'm telling him that his diagnosis is wrong because my present doc says this is what it is and i agree based on what i've read. he insists i'm wrong and tells me i have to take a shot of something because of my current state of mind. i wanna know what it is and what it's for. he spews medical nonsense at me. in english, please. he can't do it. i refuse to take it. he says i'm going to get it anyway. i make a run for it. he gives chase. eventually, i make it to safety and try to tell everyone that he insane and trying to give me a shot for something he can't explain to me (ie. UNNECESSARY). no one believes me. i even tell my husband who acts like he has every intention of telling the guy off and giving him a good punch in the nose but after he comes out of the office he acts as if he doesn't believe me either, not really. i start to wonder if i'm being irrationally paranoid and i need the shot after all but i'm scared to take it. i wake up so scared i can't move for a moment or two.
is this dream the result of not taking my medicine for one night?

I see nothing unreasonable about your dream. It's clearly an expression of your worries about the medication and the diagnosis. It is usual for people to worry when they get diagnosed with something serious, so I wouldn't say your concern is anything out of the norm.

However, you're worrying more than you need to. Chill. If anything, you're always free to seek the opinion of another psychiatrist. You shouldn't try to check your diagnosis online, this is only a forum and I doubt we even have a psychiatrist here. However, if the diagnosis is correct, it doesn't seem like the doctor is saying something wrong. The doctor also knows better what medication you need to take, so we can't advise you on that either. Prescription drugs are not more harmful than illegal drugs; many people trip on prescriptions. So have no fear about medication. ;) But, if you are predisposed to psychosis, you should not be tripping on anything.

nubian, girl, if you have psychotic depression TAKE YOUR MEDICATION!!!

i am. i am. :D anything to avoid another of those nightmares.
and...you guys are right. about the marijuana. i've been thinking back to when i would smoke out. do you realize i would have psychotic episodes when i was high. severe ones. but i thought i was just reeeaally high and they weren't scary. thinking back on it now, i can't believe i didn't do something stupid. but then, at the time, i didn't feel much like doing anything but sitting there baked. :D
that kind of makes me sad though. i really, really liked smoking. i mean reeaally. ;)

Isn't it terrible how so many things that make you feel good are so BAD for you?

Isn't it terrible how so many things that make you feel good are so BAD for you?

yes. :( yes, it is...
i wonder if the pro people back at my marijuana thread will think me a traitor?

yes. :( yes, it is...
i wonder if the pro people back at my marijuana thread will think me a traitor?

Bah! who cares what people think?

Anyway we have MegaCon to play with there.

How is it going with the medications?

Bah! who cares what people think?

Anyway we have MegaCon to play with there.

How is it going with the medications?

i don't normally care, but i care about the politics of that. may be bad for me, but not everyone. it gave my brother and i a decent relationship and taught me a wealth of things you don't learn in the classroom. :D

i'm taking them. they make god-awful tired, though. i actually had to take a nap today. if my husband hadn't called i would've slept right thru the day and into the night. :(
but no more "sounds" or things in my peripheral. it's crazy. i'd been thinking that everyone sees things or hears things. i only got concerned when they started interfering with my everday life. i kept thinking i'd hear the baby crying, or a man somewhere in the house. it got kind of bad there for awhile. but i'm better now.
still have the mood swings, though.

i don't normally care, but i care about the politics of that. may be bad for me, but not everyone. it gave my brother and i a decent relationship and taught me a wealth of things you don't learn in the classroom. :D


You have enough to worry about without the politics

i'm taking them. they make god-awful tired, though. i actually had to take a nap today. if my husband hadn't called i would've slept right thru the day and into the night. :(

I do that all the time without medication and with pots of coffee

but no more "sounds" or things in my peripheral. it's crazy. i'd been thinking that everyone sees things or hears things. i only got concerned when they started interfering with my everday life. i kept thinking i'd hear the baby crying, or a man somewhere in the house. it got kind of bad there for awhile. but i'm better now.
still have the mood swings, though.

I think it takes some time for the mood swings to get under control; of course, it may be due to the medication, you could ask the doc on your next visit.

misery loves company. nice to know someone else sleeps alot. :D

i don't know if you care for astrology (not to be confused with astronomy ;) ) but i find that most astrologically defined characteristics are pretty accurate for the bearers of the sign. i'm a libra. i tend to be obsessed with keeping the "scales" equally balanced. so this political war is like an itch i just have to scratch. on the same note, having to present both sides fairly, i must admit when the view i take could be wrong...i really didn't want to be wrong on this one.
i used to be one of those people that hated all drugs, alcohol, and tobacco. then i smoked with my brother (with the intention of proving my point to him and gaining credibility of "been there, done that") and it changed my view completely. that's why it pains me so to have to admit that it can potentially cause very real, very bad problems for people. i don't like having to rethink my stance on this subject. but you can't get any better than first-hand evidence. i wonder, if this goes away, will i be able to partake again? ever? sadly, that looks like a "no".
i wonder if i should speak to my doc about that? i'm just afraid he'll put me away. :eek: