tell me what you want more than anything in the world. i have recently become totally sweet, and i can grant your wish.

please limit your requests to physical objects.
thanks in advance!!

i want to be an american

i want what you have.

i want to be an american
*poof*

you will soon feel the urge to steal vast amounts of money through legal loopholes in corporate law.

enjoy your new status as one of the world's elite!!

i want what you have.
i am a minimalist.....i only have like four things.

you will have to clarify.

i want all 4 of them

i want all 4 of them
*hands you a pack of cigarettes, an acoustic guitar, a copy of the torah, and an american flag*

enjoy!

what, no matches? (for the cigarettes, not the flag.....)

*shrug*
my lady bought the lighter i use for my cigarettes.....i wont give you HER stuff.

learn to rub sticks, i guess. :) you should have asked for matches.

*poof*

you will soon feel the urge to steal vast amounts of money through legal loopholes in corporate law.

enjoy your new status as one of the world's elite!!

But I wanted to be a black american

But I wanted to be a black american
set yourself on fire.

I'm on medicare.

hmmmm

http://www.mediadis.com/pictures/big/142181.JPG

die zotte urbanus toch!

tell me what you want more than anything in the world.
A McLaren F1, a fighter jet, an ocean liner, unlimited amounts of fuel, my own tropical island, unlimited credit and my anti-materialistic credentials back.

A McLaren F1, a fighter jet, an ocean liner, unlimited amounts of fuel, my own tropical island, unlimited credit and my anti-materialistic credentials back.
it will be yours.

just put a dollar in the basket, and ill lead you to the material wealth that will make you capable of aquiring all of these things.

I want my penis to be larger.

I want my penis to be larger.

fondle it

I want my penis to be larger.
*hands you a hammer, a nail, and a 2x4*

nail your penis to the board, and pull.

I want to find a nice wholesome girl, go out with her, screw her, eventually marry her. Then I'd like to get some money an a good job, take her out, play with her in the car, I'd like to bang her in unusual places, lol

I want to find a nice wholesome girl, go out with her, screw her, eventually marry her. Then I'd like to get some money an a good job, take her out, play with her in the car, I'd like to bang her in unusual places, lol

*directs you to the redlight district, hands you 5000 dollars, falsifies your resume, a Zagat's guide, the keys to a 1979 oldsmobile delta 88, and a 3 day pass to disneyland*


there ya go, good buddy!

I want to find a nice wholesome girl, go out with her, screw her, eventually marry her. Then I'd like to get some money an a good job, take her out, play with her in the car, I'd like to bang her in unusual places, lol
dont you think your asking a bit too much there :p

i want to fly like superman

with no broken back though

I want a supernova right beside me, here in the Solar system, real time, this day.

Or maybe I want to swim in an ocean of milk.

I want a million dollars.

No. Make that a billion.

... A British billion.

I want World Piece. That is, I want a piece of the world.

dont you think your asking a bit too much there :p

i want to fly like superman

with no broken back though
*tosses you off the roof of his apartment building*
you'll fly for a second, anyhow.

I want a supernova right beside me, here in the Solar system, real time, this day.
http://wallnco.free.fr/Divers/supernova.jpg

easy.

Or maybe I want to swim in an ocean of milk.
http://kathua.nic.in/thumb/9c.jpg
In this painting Vishnu is shown seated on the mountain Mandara. He is shown holding the tail of the serpent, and in front of him is the four-headed Brahma and behind him is Shiva.

just mix that painting in water, throw it in a pool, and VOILA!!

I want World Piece. That is, I want a piece of the world.
http://www.holyhead.com/Ty%20Mawr%20-%20Hammer%20Stone.jpg
a rock. just for you!

I want a million dollars.

No. Make that a billion.

... A British billion.
http://www.homestead.com/prosites-lottofun9/files/millionbill.jpg

only because you asked so nicely.

sorry, this is dollars. i dont get into that british stuff.

But I didn't want a million dollars. I wanted a British billion dollars, as in 10^12 dollars.

You only gave me one millionth of what I wanted. I feel cheated. :(

tell me what you want more than anything in the world. i have recently become totally sweet, and i can grant your wish.

please limit your requests to physical objects.
thanks in advance!!

I want my PhD right now, so I can go back to India. :(

(just gimme the degree)

you are now officially certified as a "Doctor of Funk", by The Devil Inside University of Rocking.

you can now get a job teaching the macarena, instructing poor hindu children on the proper nuances of Jive-Talking (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jive_%28dialect%29 ...sorry, hyperlink button wasnt working for some reason), and general 1970's pimpiness.

enjoy your new career!

But I didn't want a million dollars. I wanted a British billion dollars, as in 10^12 dollars.

You only gave me one millionth of what I wanted. I feel cheated. :(
such is life....i honored your first request, didnt i?

Or maybe I want to swim in an ocean of milk.

I'd settle for a swimming pool of jello.

your wish.....
http://kasimodem.free.fr/images/div/Fat_guy_and_dog.sized.jpg
is my command.

My request is simple: I'd just like a photograph of a Chinaman wearing a brown, orange and red striped hat, sitting on a yellow, blue and purple fridge, smiling and eating a bag of honey-coated peanuts.

Perhaps you could find me just such an image via Google Image Search? I'd really appreciate it.

PS For reasons I can't go into, it must be a genuine photograph - not something you've knocked up yourself in MS Paint. I'm sure that, having provided all these wondrous things, you can fulfil this simple request.

My request is simple: I'd just like a photograph of a Chinaman wearing a brown, orange and red striped hat, sitting on a yellow, blue and purple fridge, smiling and eating a bag of honey-coated peanuts.

Perhaps you could find me just such an image via Google Image Search? I'd really appreciate it.

PS For reasons I can't go into, it must be a genuine photograph - not something you've knocked up yourself in MS Paint. I'm sure that, having provided all these wondrous things, you can fulfil this simple request.
unfortunately, i couldnt convince mister chung to allow me to take a webcam shot of him.....
however, i have provided a detailed map of how to find his house, if you are very determined to see him eating peanuts. sometimes the colors alternate though...just warning you, so you dont get all the way there and see him in grey, green, and blue striped clothing....

http://i61.photobucket.com/albums/h52/The_Devil_Inside_666/mapofchina.gif

I've clicked the zoom button in the top left corner - the one with the funny N above it - but it doesn't seem to do anything, so I'm unable to pinpoint his street. Surely if you can give away a million dollars to ungrateful wretches you can obtain a simple photograph for me? Or do I overestimate your powers?

I've clicked the zoom button in the top left corner - the one with the funny N above it - but it doesn't seem to do anything, so I'm unable to pinpoint his street. Surely if you can give away a million dollars to ungrateful wretches you can obtain a simple photograph for me? Or do I overestimate your powers?
i respect my friends' privacy when they ask me to.

however, he said it was ok to give you his address:
http://www.pisa.org.hk/aboutus/pisa_chinese_address.gif

I think you'll find that that's the address of PISA..

Professional Information Security Association
Unit 1211, Hang Shing Building,
363 Nathan Road, KLN, HK

http://www.pisa.org.hk/aboutus/aboutus.htm

.. and not my peanut-eating friend Mr. Chung.

You truly are the prince of deception (although you'll need a lot more practice in order to become king).

I begin to doubt your powers, Devil.

DUH.

he is their janitor, and he lives in the toolshed.
why do you think i would lie?!

Doh. http://img214.imageshack.us/img214/543/hitheadwithhammerrl3.gif

Sorry, my Lord. I'll write to him at once.

Thankyou, Your Unholiness (bow thrice, kiss feet) - I am forever in your debt, and will never doubt you again.

here is a picture of the town mister chung summers in:
http://mk23.image.pbase.com/u37/andesheng/large/24198717.101.jpg
the location i pinpointed on the map is here, by the way.

Doh. http://img214.imageshack.us/img214/543/hitheadwithhammerrl3.gif

Sorry, my Lord. I'll write to him at once.

Thankyou, Your Unholiness (bow thrice, kiss feet) - I am forever in your debt, and will never doubt you again.
anymore requests?

Yes, I know that market! It's in the village of Deng Xiao Ping on the banks of the mighty Yangtze! I will leave for China at once!

anymore requests?
Yes, can you tell why that GIF isn't animated? It used to be.

which gif?

The little yellow chap with the hammer.

you are now officially certified as a "Doctor of Funk", by The Devil Inside University of Rocking.

you can now get a job teaching the macarena, instructing poor hindu children on the proper nuances of Jive-Talking (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jive_%28dialect%29 ...sorry, hyperlink button wasnt working for some reason), and general 1970's pimpiness.

enjoy your new career!

Where the f**k is my DEGREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(or diploma or whatever you USians call it)

The little yellow chap with the hammer.
he is animated on my screen.

Where the f**k is my DEGREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(or diploma or whatever you USians call it)
it is in the mail!!!!!
besides...you dont need a piece of paper to be a jive talkin' mofo.

its all about the afro!

he is animated on my screen.
Dirty as it sounds, I'll clean my cache. That should fix it.

I need a paper to show the desis that I was in Amreeka!

And got my degree from phoren!!

Dirty as it sounds, I'll clean my cache. That should fix it.
dont forget the anti-fungal powder.

request that 2 dollars in real digital hard cash transferred into my PayPal account by clicking following link and then paypal button and then following directions.

Also request 2 million dollars US in real digital hard cash transferred into my PayPal account by clicking following link and then paypal button and then following directions. If possible.


Link to click (http://www.angelfire.com/planet/warondeath)

LeeDa, $2,000,002 dollars will soon be yours! The Devil Inside is no doubt arranging it as I write!

sorry, i cannot comply with this request, as the only currency i have access to is the euro.
currency exchange isnt open for another 7 hours or so.
access denied.

Euros would be ok

That's no problem, Your Villainousness: simply transfer the money in Euros and PayPal will automatically convert this into dollars for LeeDa's convenience. :)

my bank account is a few euros short.

do you accept cash?
http://www.milliondollarbill.com/eurosingle.jpg

That's one of those pictures I told you about, LeeDa - posted by someone impersonating The Devil Inside. The real The Devil Inside is no doubt making the requested transfers at this very moment.

That's one of those pictures I told you about, LeeDa - posted by someone impersonating The Devil Inside. The real The Devil Inside is no doubt making the requested transfers at this very moment.
INDEED.

the fellow above stole my identity for a moment.

transfer of 2,000,002.00 euro is complete.
thank you for your vote of confidence, redarmy.

je bent een heel goed meneer.

Thankyou, Your Heinousness. You are a complete good Mr too.

you have to be smarter than the online translator. :D
"meneer" is interchangable with "sir" as well as "mister".

How long does it take?

transaction is complete.
however, as we live in different countries, it may take longer. international currency transactions are notoriously sluggish.

as a compensation, i would like for you to change your tagline to: The Devil Inside=Sexy Messiah.

Ok ill do that when I've confirmed the transaction.

Damn, I can't believe James closed that thread. What was I saying? Oh yes:

Surely the posting, ad nauseum, of images such as these carries with it the concomitant danger of derailing earnest scientific debate?

http://files.myopera.com/Mathilda/albums/50430/Fabio's%20Ugly%20Little%20Brother%20.jpg

I'll leave you with that thought - good night!

:D night.

Oh shit. HAHA

any requests, nicholas?

well, all requests should go to my inbox...i am going to sleep now.

slapwel, sciforums! ik zal wachten voor jouw stomme vraagen morgen!!!!

any requests, nicholas?

Come to think of it, Bob Barker's wardrobe and the set of Price is Right.

I want a...."Brand New Pair of Rollerskates..."

you also get rod roddy and some models!
enjoy!
http://www.dresses.com/pictures/pirshadow.jpg

customized for a diva such as yourself, genji :D
http://www.gotsinister.com/bratzskates.jpg

I want world peace and a bar of chocolate for everyone (except americans because they are too fat anyway).

I want to have my cake and eat it.

I want world peace and a bar of chocolate for everyone (except americans because they are too fat anyway).
make your own chocolate, bitch!!! yeeeeaaah!!!!

as for the world peace...you should have asked for the americans to be conquered by mexico, if you wanted that. but nooooo...you had to ask for candybars.

I want to have my cake and eat it.
you are british, yes?

Si. Er I mean Oui.

here you go, nickelodeon....you have to share with these two folks, though.
http://www.gov.ab.ca/premier/royalvisit/images/gallery/may23_13_hr.jpg

[QUOTE=The Devil Inside]customized for a diva such as yourself, genji :D
[They're to DIE for! :p Thank You from everyone in Genjiland!! :)

:D glad you like them. any other requests?

:D glad you like them. any other requests?
If you can find sexy pics of Jeff Boschee and Ricky Paull Goldin I'll SCREAM!!! :p In a good way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://img377.imageshack.us/img377/2065/rickyph3.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

http://img377.imageshack.us/img377/2065/rickyph3.jpg (http://imageshack.us)HOLY MOTHER OF JESUS TAP DANCIN ON A STICK IN NAZARETH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Isn't he just SCRUMPTIOUS!?!!!! :eek: devilsreject is my new Jesus!! I never find pics like that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You made my day! Imagine him with Muslim! And ME! In a naked tangle of lustmunching!!!!

such is life....i honored your first request, didnt i?
The British billion dollars was my first request.

:(

http://img377.imageshack.us/img377/2065/rickyph3.jpg (http://imageshack.us)I want this passed out on my couch! All I'd need is some butter and a salad!

HOLY MOTHER OF JESUS TAP DANCIN ON A STICK IN NAZARETH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Isn't he just SCRUMPTIOUS!?!!!! :eek: Spidergoat is my new Jesus!! I never find pics like that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You made my day! Imagine him with Muslim! And ME! In a naked tangle of lustmunching!!!!
err...i only typed his name into google images :D

err...i only typed his name into google images :DI mean devilsreject is my new Jesus!!!! SORRY!!!!

The British billion dollars was my first request.

:(
first, you said "one million dollars".

i complied. geeeez!

it's such a monstrou's thing that i do'nt have a g'damn british billion.

*get's on the phone and asks tony blai'rs secretary to have him pose for naked picture's*

first, you said "one million dollars".

i complied. geeeez!

it's such a monstrou's thing that i do'nt have a g'damn british billion.

*get's on the phone and asks tony blai'rs secretary to have him pose for naked picture's*
But I said "no" after I said "million", implying that I took the request back, meaning you really didn't fulfill any of my requests... :(

And I don't like naked pictures of poodles.

HOLY MOTHER OF JESUS TAP DANCIN ON A STICK IN NAZARETH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Isn't he just SCRUMPTIOUS!?!!!! :eek: Spidergoat is my new Jesus!! I never find pics like that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You made my day! Imagine him with Muslim! And ME! In a naked tangle of lustmunching!!!!
I think you forgot a couple exclamation points, man. :p

I want this passed out on my couch! All I'd need is some butter and a salad!
Do I wanna know what you'd use the butter and salad for?

Methinks so.

Oh my god what the fuck laugh out loud barbeque!

Rolling on the floor laughing my fucking ass off!

kathy bates.
doubles as a pool filled with jello.
http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/new_line_cinema/about_schmidt/kathy_bates/schmidt.jpg

Icky.

im on page one, biaaaatch!

I'm on page three. Nigga.

im going to report you for being racist.

heh.

i want a panadol...

http://www.petertan.com/images/panadol-180904.jpg

may i pls have a glass of water to swallow it down with?? thank you..

http://www.directory.io/directory/images/Photos/Drinks/glass-of-water.jpg

no problem. enjoy your prescription drugs.

your the best TDI...

im going to report you for being racist.

heh.
And I you for not only being sexist, but also speciesist. I am neither a female nor a dog, thank you very much! :mad:

i want a monkey on a deck chair sipping tequila

your the best TDI...
you could prove it by changing your tagline to: Devil Inside: Sexy Messiah

or something to that effect.

i want a monkey on a deck chair sipping tequila
tequila is pretty expensive here in belgium....
is beer ok?
http://cities.expressindia.com/grfx/pics/20060630/k1a.jpg

But I said "no" after I said "million", implying that I took the request back, meaning you really didn't fulfill any of my requests... :(

And I don't like naked pictures of poodles.


I think you forgot a couple exclamation points, man. :p


Do I wanna know what you'd use the butter and salad for?

Methinks so.The butter is for his skin, lips and tongue. The salad is what I would eat before my main meat course. Mmm-mm Good!

The butter is for his skin, lips and tongue. The salad is what I would eat before my main meat course. Mmm-mm Good!
at least you are unabashed. you get respect points from me for that!

Secularism.

Secularism.
http://www.pupress.princeton.edu/images/k7528.gif

ok, it is bedtime for me again.
send your requests to my inbox, and i will respond here.

I wanted 3 days off work and I wanted to get off 2 and a half hours early today. And it's Happening!!!! Thank You DevilInside! Seeya all Tuesday night! ;)

hey, anything i can do to help!

and yes, it was most certainly me that did this for you. there is no other possible explanation than me flexing my powers while i slept.

tequila is pretty expensive here in belgium....
is beer ok?
http://cities.expressindia.com/grfx/pics/20060630/k1a.jpg
that will do o'holy messiah

that monkey is sexalicious, indeed.

good old monkeys