L. M. stearns is suing lowes home improvement after getting a splinter in his thumb.
stearns charges lowes was negligent causing him to have serious and permanent injury. he wants to be compensated for medical expenses, loss of earnings, pain and suffering, and other damages.

if this moron is so fucking stupid that he didn't know wood has splinters then someone needs to shoot the SOB.

I'm going to sue Mr. Stearns because his stupidity makes me cry and it's causing permanent emotional distress :(

This will undoubtedly trigger postings of accounts of some outrageous judgments awarded by juries. Be warned that most of these stories are fiction, and check Mythbusters before parading them yet another time for our members. Only the original case of the brainless McDonalds customer who spilled hot coffee in her lap is true, and it has become so infamous, such a summary of what's wrong with our no-fault society, that no American judge or jury will want to be the second idiot to make that mistake.

My favorite is the guy who bought a motor home (that's a gigantic "caravan" drinking about 40 l of petrol per 100km with living quarters in back, for you foreigners), drove it out onto the open highway, pushed the button labeled "cruise control," stood up, turned around, walked back into the living quarters and sat down to brew a cup of coffee. After the inevitable crash he was said to have sued the manufacturer for not telling him what "cruise control" means, and to have been awarded a judgment of a million dollars.

How stupid does one have to be to believe this story? Ignoring the possibility that an American court might actually have awarded this judgment, the driver would certainly have noticed that the truck was veering out of its lane long before he sat down. All highways have "Botts dots" to warn sleepy drivers to stay in their lane. He might not have been able to grab the controls in time to avert an accident but he certainly would not have actually been able to start making coffee.

Even on one of those endless open roads in Montana, try taking your hands off the steering wheel and count the seconds before your wife starts screaming.

A splinter is neither serious nor permanent. Judge should throw out the case...

if this moron is so fucking stupid that he didn't know wood has splinters then someone needs to shoot the SOB.
What do you mean stupid?
He might be doing it on purpose.

What do you mean stupid?
He might be doing it on purpose.
in that case he needs to be killed twice.

Not really. If he knew what he was doing, he might be suing them to make money. Not because he is actually dumb enough to get a splinter.

It might be a good way to make good money.

It might be a good way to make good money.

Nah, hot coffee or bananaskin works better....