Jokes and Funny Stories II

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by Billy T, Jan 10, 2014.

  1. paddoboy Valued Senior Member

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  5. Michael 345 New year. PRESENT is 72 years oldl Valued Senior Member

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    Course language



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  7. paddoboy Valued Senior Member

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  8. paddoboy Valued Senior Member

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  9. paddoboy Valued Senior Member

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  10. Michael 345 New year. PRESENT is 72 years oldl Valued Senior Member

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  11. paddoboy Valued Senior Member

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  12. DaveC426913 Valued Senior Member

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    My father's last year, up to March, was spent in a state of advanced Alzheimer's, reaching the point where he no longer knew who his wife was.

    Why does pad hurt me so?

    ( I kid.

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  13. paddoboy Valued Senior Member

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    Sorry about your Dad Dave.
    Not as close to home, but I have just had an old school mate [probably the fittest along with me] diagnosed with ALS...The same thing Professor Stephen Hawking had. He continues to undergo tests, and effects so far are slurring of speech and dribbling. We used to ring each other fairly often, but he is now so hard to understand, that we now message. Funny, as yet no other muscular depletion as was in the Hawking case, although he, Hawking, was only 20 when diagnosed.
     
  14. Michael 345 New year. PRESENT is 72 years oldl Valued Senior Member

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  15. paddoboy Valued Senior Member

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    An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. . . I would recommend it very highly.' The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?' The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... The one that's red and has thorns.' 'Do you mean a rose?' 'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'
     
  16. paddoboy Valued Senior Member

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  17. paddoboy Valued Senior Member

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  18. paddoboy Valued Senior Member

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    For the Midwives amongst us.........
    and why women don't use Midhusbands......

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  19. sculptor Valued Senior Member

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    The next time you see someone wearing camouflage clothing:
    Walk right into him/her
    and say
    "Oops, I'm sorry, I didn't see you standing there-----that stuff really works."
    ...................
    In one of the hunting magazines they were advertising camouflage panties and bras
    really interesting
     
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  20. Michael 345 New year. PRESENT is 72 years oldl Valued Senior Member

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    Note the problem I have highlighted?

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    What background were they made to look like?

    What about the un-camouflaged regions? Wouldn't they be a giveaway?

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  21. sculptor Valued Senior Member

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    leaves
    and
    yup
     
  22. paddoboy Valued Senior Member

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