Bells, while I agree with the sentiments of your post, it's just a shame it doesn't all work out that way. My Mrs is highly religious and a Christian in the true sense of the word. [Apologies if some of the readers may see that as rather Ironic when compared to myself Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!] We have been married now for 40 years. With the example of my Son when he was a kid, she tried her way and it didn't work. I suppose one could say its "horses for courses"
The community has come to the defense of the victim as a united front, not in physical retaliation, but in reeducating, rebuking and/or socially punishing the bully until the message is understood. Bullies should be required to go through a public intervention and examination to direct and examine the problem and fix it.
So, we spend tax dollars to "re-educate" people who wouldn't need it if we acted like humans instead of automatons enslaved to political correctness? Screw that, knock the bully on his ass as many times as it takes to bring home the point. I wish that worked with the government and the prim SOBs who want to tell me (and you, and everyone who's not a sociopath) to turn the other cheek. No thanks.
With any issue we run the risk of: A) Over simplifying the issue B) Seeking for a singular cause of the issue To be honest I always get uppity when it comes to discussions, because as it currently stands no one can really by objective on the subject due to very little conclusive work on it. Abuse, poverty, reflection, rage, sadness, depression and loneliness can be some causes, I presume. However , in certain cases the bully might just be a cruel person. I have been bullied and have bullied in the past. Usually it was because of rage I had as a child. I consistently threw tantrums that when I look back could be because of how lonely I was. I had no friends to speak of, and people always treated me like some sort of pest. People always would look merely at my intellect and just acted like I was a good for nothing ne'er-do-well, lets not consider the fact that I had learning disabilities and a disorder that limited my self control (ADHD), it took me years to learn proper self-control. But in the end it was on me. Some people learn the easy way, I like many others learnt the hard way and some, some never learn. It didn't help that the school cast a blind eye and had this stupid no-tolerance rule. I was a child, I was too shy to ask for help and when I fought back I got in trouble. I remember when a classmate scratched himself to make me look worse and the principal took the bait hook, line and sinker. Children can be innocent, but they also can be incredibly cruel, they are by definition, humans without any impulse control or reasoning abilities by definition. I loathed everyone and everything around me. To improperly quote The Dark Knight, I just wanted to see the world burn. My aggression was never personal it was reactionary. I reacted to my internal turmoil as well as my external turmoil. When I hear about school shootings I first wonder if they were bullied, abused or if they were just narcissistic SOBs like I was. But this is an important discussion to be had. Though if anyone thinks passing legislation that classifies bullying as a criminal offence is incredibly misguided.
Of course it does not always work out that way. Some children can be real little violent shits. But when you look at bullying, it happens in adults as well as children. That need to dominate others, to render them useless or to make them feel as though they are weak and useless. Should we teach our children how to deal with such people? Certainly. But I also teach mine that behaving like that is not acceptable. Not towards each other, or towards others. And in doing so, we also taught our boys how to deal with people who are bullies. As I said, preventing bullying begins at home. If we just teach our kids to beat the crap out of the other kid, that isn't really teaching them about bullying. It's just teaching them that the only solution is violence. I suppose I am lucky in that my kids are very intelligent (both in advanced classes and top percentile) and while they are more than capable of defending themselves physically (they had professional self defense lessons - not really to deal with bullies, but to defend themselves against anyone who may have tried to molest them or kidnap them, but defending themselves against violence from bullies was part of the course), they also understand that if another kid is an arsehole, being violent right off the bat isn't going to always work. And with bullying, it isn't about teaching the other kid a lesson, it is simply to stop that kid from harming them and well... disarming the bully and stopping their violence. There is no beating the shit out of them involved. Perhaps that is why they are not bullied. They are not weak targets. And bullies look for kids they assume are weak. That may change once they get to high school. And I hope that what we taught them right from the start remains 'sunk in'. My kid's school is also great with anti-bullying programs. It isn't tolerated and that message is constantly given out to the children themselves. There are bullies in their school. And when they try to bully others, the punishment from the school is always very swift, they are removed to the office and the parents immediately called in. There is zero tolerance for violence of any sort or bullying.
Bullying is a dysfunctional relationship, and for many bullies like the one in the film, probably the first in a series of dysfunctional relationships in their lives until and unless they pick on a victim capable of defending themselves, or unless a parent, teacher, principal, or other person eventually demonstrates to them what it feels like. After that, inexplicably, even the worst bullies learn not to behave this way. There are exceptions. Kim Jong Un comes to mind. Bullies are basically reptiles, but even reptiles eventually learn their limitations, if they survive long enough to figure it out. Behaviors are learned. So are misbehaviors.
One good tactic to reduce bullying is rarely used, probably because it costs money. Give young children martial arts training in the early grades. One reason is that it will make it far more difficult for a bully to hurt them, and in self-defense they might even hurt the bully, which will embarrass him in front of his bully friends. The other reason is that martial arts training gives them a sense of confidence, which they project in their facial expression and the way they move. Almost all bullies are cowards at heart and are careful not to pick a fight with an adversary who might simply slam them to the ground and keep walking.
Well, the karate kid wasn't taught small-joint manipulations or the things I learned from my Okinawan friend years ago. Have you ever seen a Shodokan black belt's knuckles? Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Indeed I have! I fought some of them when I was younger, even did a year or so after kempo. Without the fairly strong philosophical and psychological disciplining that comes with karate, however, would one not be handing out weapons to bullies and bullied alike? Which the bullies could then use with equal - or, more likely, greater - effectiveness? Sort of akin to the gun debate, except that the end-solution would be rarely so easily achieved, or so often lethal. Here's a thought: carrying laws for tazers. Discuss.
