The DOs and DON’ts of Sex in 2012

A pleasure to read your post, Fraggle, as you have a talent for sharing your wisdom, liberally spiced with wit and humor and you are well able to chuckle at yourself also.

Thanks for catching the typo.....I think I had two replies on different threads and forums underway at once and got distracted by a phone call and so in a rush to finish up.

One should never hurry a good thing.

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I have known women that can be pleased. Without the help of oral or verbal foreplay

Like this phrase but I feel that both sides need to "get" it "right" the first time or there won't be a second.

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The best foreplay in my house involves my husband sweeping/mopping floors or washing dishes. I show my appreciation every time

 

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So you concider sex to be a chore equivilant to cleaning? Interesting

 

<sigh> really, that's what you got out of that? :bugeye:

 

Absolutely!

That allows us girls some conservation of energy and time to freshen up.

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Asguard.....you were trying for that dry, laconic humor thing, I hope? :bugeye:

 

Usually it's the fellows that are more prone to 'performance anxiety'.

Probably a good thing that most ladies will not make a 'premature' judgement with that knowledge at their disposal.

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I know a little about what you mean I think

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At one time I had a girl go "3 rounds" to my one an I haven't seen her since... Maybe I was to good?
:roflmao:

 

Gratuitous sex, I like that. But like most men, I would come to expect that and would feel very disappointed and cheated if it didn't happen.

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Then we might have a fight which would lead to make-up sex.

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She probably realized getting you off was more work than it was worth.

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No actually, I was reading a book written by a female psychologist and sex expert and her comments to that attitude were

1) if a relationship is supposed to be equal do you concider sex to be equal "work" to the amount of effort required to do cleaning, it's supposed to be a pleaurable activity for both partners, not a reward to one partner for work done. If it IS work your doing it wrong

2) why would you sell yourself? Basically your prostituting yourself for work done

And most importantly 3) why would you want to associate a possitive relationship building activity with an unpleasant chore? This damages BOTH partners views of sex

Basically her argument was that you should be having sex because you love each other, because BOTH partners find it pleasurable and Because it binds you to your partner, not because of a transaction that "I will have sex with you if you spend an hour cleaning the toilet" where one partner is selling sex in exchange for work

 

Hey klown that's quiet funny. But I felt the same. An I practically did ALL the work. Good riddance. ($~€R¥¤)

 

So your saying if the woman/wife withholds sex to get what she wants, that makes her a whore. And women wonder why men cheat on them? Go figure.

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Thank you for the clarification Asguard, though if I have interpreted your summation correctly, I'm not inspired to seek out the book.

That's not at all how I interpreted Orleander's post.

I'm a woman, and in talking to other women, sometimes we can be too tired to enjoy the thought of sex by the end of the day. Not saying that men don't work hard, but very often women work longer hours to fit in family and domestic chores as well as hold down a job.

My hubby doesn't even expect me to cook meals on the three nights I work graveyards (though sometimes I do anyways ) because he wants me to get enough rest. He volunteers to do dishes or sweep so that I can spend more time with my horses or just relax. I often wake up to find a note on my computer, "Don't worry about dishes, I'll get them when I get up."

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If he feels that he is 'buying me', he must be getting damn good value for his dollar because he even brings me little gifts on occasion.

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Surprising her with anal is not a wise move.

I can assure you all of that.

NEVER go for the surprise anal.

 

do you have a link to this book that you supposedly read?
And sex in my marriage is not a chore. We also have sex to show appreciation. And surprisingly sometimes we have sex because I saw some porn and wanna get laid. It has nothing to do with loving him or binding myself to him. Scandalous I know.

 

It. Is. Wise. To. Not. Even. Mention. It. Ever. To. A. "Partner"

 

Do you feel that it's the woman's "job" to do the housework? How does that fit into the equality thing?

 

That's a matter to be negotiated between the couple, when I was a chef and working a 60+ week I didn't do much housework but now PB is the one working more hours I do most of it. The question isn't who's job it is it's about BUYING sex from your partner and the association of sex with work.

Question for you, do you think it's your wife's JOB to give YOU sex or is it a pleasurable activity you both paticipate in for mutual and self (BOTH selves) enjoyment?

 

OMG! A horny woman making sexual demands on her poor over worked husband. (Honey I just can't get it up, please try again later). Men always have a built in excuse and never have to use headaches as an excuse.

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