My condolences to everybody here who has posted about losing somebody they love. Words are never sufficient.
@ sifreak, things do "get better", but it never goes away. @ Mac, ah shit. Hasn't sunk in yet? Five years later it STILL hasn't quite sunk in that dad's dead. Commiserations to both of you (and anyone else in the same boat).
what? we all will. Everybody dies. My children have been taught that. I was raised that way as well. Death is a part of life.
We still have our memories of them. In a way they always stay close to the people who love them. That's good enough for me.
* Felt sad for a while. * Helped set up a "shrine" photographed "memories" by coffee maker (so they would be frequently seen). * Had a few drunken nights with friends to celebrate good memories and act like jackasses.
My sincere condolences. As is clearly true of so many other people here, I also understand your pain due to my own experiences with the loss of family members and friends. When you're particularly close to someone, it goes without saying that it's one of the worst things you can ever go through. Honestly, there's not a whole lot that can make you feel better about any of it, at least in the beginning. The support of existing friends and family is of course important (and if you don't have that, there are other options such as counseling and/or support groups, obviously), but the main things is just to hold onto the hope, even if it's only a single thread, that eventually you'll make it through to the other side. Mourning is important, and you should allow it to be as deep as it needs to be, but you should also try to be a survivor throughout all of it.
ironicly, it helps to put things in perspective when you realize other people have loss as well. also, that other people have had or having worse loss than you. after having read about children who witnessed family members being murdered or butchered in times of war and orphaned, most people's loss pales in comparison. a child can't even understand what's going on, the senselessness of the brutalit of war and has no way to deal with it except be in shock and excruciating pain/bewilderment. their damage is far, far, far worse and tragic for such young and tender age. that could wreck and shatter someone for life, especially in a situation like that. there is also no one to assist them in these situations. there are far worse situations past and present. remember there is people all over the world mourning and in great suffering and many far worse than yours. in that, no one is alone.
