Is it ever okay for men to cry in public?

I opnce wrote a piece entitiled, "When Man Cries" which reflects on the very few and rare times that I have ever witness a man crying.
It is in NO way a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of strength. What it takes for a man to cry is strength because otherwise he will be referred to as weak, sissy, and all of the things that some of you have said. I never seen a man actually sob, but I have seen a resistanct tear or two fall. I am not a man, but I feel that when a man does cry, he does it against his will. He fights it. He tries to hide it, but the fact that he does all that shows he has a fear of crying in the first place not too mention that it gives him a quality of humanity that each man needs. It shows compassion, love, and at times sadness and pain. I watched my father shed a couple tears the day his grandmother was put in the ground. I watched my brother cry when they told us that my father had died. I watched a father at a graduation ceremony drop a tear as his son who struggled so hard to make it through school finally made it. I seen a lot of people cry over the loss of lives on 9/11. When that hard knot forms in your throat and you find it hard to swallow, it must automatically trigger the tear ducts and the harder you try to fight it, the stronger it becomes.
A sign of weakness? No way! It is more like a sign of strength.

HOWEVER: There is one exception to the rule and that is
"THERE IS NO CRYING IN BASEBALL"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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if circumstance moves you, tears should be considered ok in public... male or female... otherwise you get all emotionally bottled up and it festers inside until one day, wham! or you become so detached inside in defense to emotion that nothing moves you anymore
if the tragedy is vast, like WTC or Katrina or the tsunami, tears should be viewed as a human reaction... not specific to the male or female of the species... crying though should be considered a more personal reaction and kept that way... outside of public scrutiny... just my humble opinion

 

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Psychosurvivor, what is the point of being moved?

So people cry, so what? Do any of you do anything to prevent 911 or Katrina, or to help the victims? Crying does not mean much unless it's backed up by energy.

 

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is being moved then a conscious act? if so then any resulting tears might be construed as contrived... I think rather that being moved is a gut reaction that is not in our control

if crying is done in private, it can be done to be emotionally cleansing and then there's no need to qualify it

if crying is done in public and is not followed by action, I agree, those tears don't mean much...

I live in NYC and after my initial shock at 911, I went back to work 3 blocks from ground zero where we served as a triage center for the neighborhood... I had no time/need to cry for the next 2 months

when the tsunami hit, Pakistan was hit by that earthquake and Katrina drowned NO last year, I cried out of impotence because short of sending my few paltry dollars, there was nothing practical I could do to help.

 

As an outsider, honestly I cannot tell the difference between fake tears and real.

Unless I know you personally, and know you very well, I have no clue what you are feeling when you put on such a display.

Also, it's never a situation where there is NOTHING you can do to help. That's what I mean, this is the problem people have with cry babies, it's fine to cry if you do something afterwards, but if you cry but say you can do nothing how will anyone know you felt your tears?

You want to know how you can help? You can help Katrina victims organize their lives, you can make a website, you can just talk to black people and mentor someone. It's never EVER a situation where you can't do anything, you can do something. You should be helping people all day, nothing stops you from doing this, and if you care, why not choose a job which allows you to function in a way which reflects how you feel?

Lets see, Katrina victims need to be organized, they need you to help organize their lives. You help the ones who you know will help others, and you'll help many people indirectly through the domino effect. Whatever industry you are in, whatever skills you have, you can give to a black person who you know will give to others.

Example, help those who want to create jobs in ghettos. Buy a rap CD, I know you don't listen to it, but buying the music CD would have been better than wasting your money on useless charity that never got recieved by the victims.

To support Katrina victims, go on Itunes, and buy albums, and tell your friends to do it also, make sure the albums are made by black artists, and make sure these artists are positive members in their community, and you'll make a bigger impact than if you throw money into the charity fire out of pity.

 

The only time it is okay for men to cry in public is if they're greatest personal hero dies.

 

I was one of those wussy crybabies who earned six figures twenty years ago... I wanted for nothing materialistically... I cried constantly for the emptiness of my soul which no new car or diamonds could fill... I cried... I crashed... I burned... I changed careers... I put in 10-12 hours days running a human service training program for people who have been diagnosed with severe and persistent mental illness... some of whom have never worked due to years of institutionalization...I cry because I can't spread myself any thinner... now those tears though are tempered by the tears of joy I shed at each success a trainee achieves... I learned how to appreciate the "little things"... I help restore human dignity but until I read your words I never really thought about what I do through that lens... I knew I did good work but yes, I help every day... thank you, TT, for leading me to that realization

 

What words in specific are you refering to?

If you do good work, we are on the same team. A crybaby is a person who cries, but who does nothing. If you are working hard to make the world better, good, the world needs more like you.

 

You should be helping people all day, nothing stops you from doing this, and if you care, why not choose a job which allows you to function in a way which reflects how you feel?

those words

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... again - thanks

 

...Wake up.

That is good to hear.

...That is painful.

Apparently this holds true for some, and not to others. But it is alright.

I haven't cried in a long time. Don't get me wrong; I definitely still mourn, and surprisingly even to me, I still feel very strongly, even knowing that not only could I never go back, but I WOULD not go back. Knowing that makes me very truly sad. But I can't manage to cry anymore.

Do you believe in time travel?

 

I have been known to cry when I kill things . It don't slow Me down at all . Most the time it makes Me kill faster cause I don't like to see the suffering . There is something to be said about whinny complainer that don't get the job done . That is not the same thing as showing mercy

 

It should be okay for men to cry in public and be more emotional in general...

It's as if they are expected to amputate that part of themselves and I think it does them a disservice.

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(I can haz meme generator?)

 

The public display of emotion, whether by male or female is discomfiting to most and it is because of this discomfort to others that we are generally conditioned to avoid such behavior.

There are many types of crying, also. Some persons are quite noisy about their distress, while others are absolutely silent, save for tears coursing down their face.

Depending on the circumstances and the type of crying involved, I would suggest that not all public displays of tears should be viewed as a sign of weakness.

The shedding of tears is one means by which an over-stimulated nervous system can 'bleed off' excess energy, whether it is of negative or positive origin. In the wake of the tearful response, there is a period of calmness and relief that allows one to be calm and analytical for a time, even if the stressful circumstances soon begin anew. Crying seems to have a purpose for our biology and it is believed that the extreme suppression of the emotional response system can lead to serious health concerns.

I am generally okay with the public display of tears, by either sex, so long as it is accompanied by a modicum of self-control as in no profanity or violence attached, as these type of outbursts can precipitate public reactions that may escalate out of control.

 

I don't think it's okay for men to cry in public. Mostly since it's scientifically proven that men are physically/emotionally stronger women. So those that act weak show themselves inferior to the male average. Girls don't like that stuff, and we all know that's all us men really care about

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I doubt that. Women like alpha males. I'm not saying it's wrong that the man you happen to be with isn't alpha, but don't try to make it seem beta males are preferred by women. Makes us both seem silly when you do it.