Top Ten Signs that You're a Christian

I only want one thing: :m:

 

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actually, do you know that one that says that all life forms are made from water, and then humans are created from earth, means, mud, not dirt, and infact, scientificly, the human, IS a mud pie, all the ingrediants you find in our bodies, you actually can find them in a mud pie, i saw it in national geography, and they said "mud pie" in the clear way, mud pie, and the showed how the human body share with the mud pie the ingrediants.

 

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and another thing, there's no such thing to call signs that proove that you're a christian.
i mean, we muslims don't like to hear a mocking about jesus, he's a prophet too and we beleive in him(not as a god or a son of god, for us god is the creator and have no son, and no one created him) anyway, does this mean we are christians?
let me tell, that's a b*llsh*t

 

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missunderstood, again, heheheheh
sorry it may not be a bullshit.

 

I think the misogynist doth protest too much. LOL!

 

i don't deny them..i think they are all related..maybe even the same one..

do you realize how specific the circumstances were to form life? much less how fragile that process was..

trinity is a hard one to get a brain around..

LOL..there is too many ppl on this planet..hmm..wonder what it would be like if they didn't do that...

Long live the Squirrel God...

how bout..
but you find nothing wrong with ppl who lived for hundreds of years..

i have issues with the word religion..

it wasn't the science who was trying to convince otherwise..it was the ppl..
god can be found in the sciences..he just can't be measured..

considering i don't pray to god per se i tend to speak to him like he was right next to me..but to apply this to what i have asked him for..
:shy:
guilty..

guilty..

but then i would be a bibleian...


guess i don't qualify..GREAT!

 

Why the fuck are you on my nutz? Do you have a crush on me? Do I make your giny tickle? Fuck off.

 

ack..another list..

can i borrow you for a sec..i lost my flashlight..

yet, you speak of it...

true..

yea right..

still trying..haven't gotten anyone to come yet..

true..i listen to kpcl passion radio, christian rock..(even if you don't believe, there is good music there.)

.
havent actually seen any miracles..and it was INSPIRED by god not written by him..

guilty..

hey..at least i know someone loves me!

i hope so..

cool pic

 

MW,

LOL, this is a good one.

 

HHmmmh, I’ll just throw this in;

Top Ten signs youre an unquestioning atheist.

1 You think the statement “My linage derives from evolved lizards” is more logical then “A higher intelligence created intelligent life on earth, according to their kind.”

2 You don’t accept the idea of God, but you talk about him more then most religious zealots

3 You despise the idea of faith, but you have a hyper-abundant amount of trust in “time and chance”

4 You despise organized religion by being a part of an organized religion against organized religion.

5 You claim that religious people are brainwashed, but you spout off quotes from renowned atheists to defend your beliefs.

6 Your best defense to the idea that religious people cram their beliefs down people’s throats is to cram your beliefs down people’s throats (Richard Dawkins)

7 You say the Bible is utterly made up non-sense, then use stories from it to condemn God…who you claim doesn’t exist.

8 One of your favorite arguments against believing the Bible is that it was written by men, but you unquestioningly believe science text books…written by men

9 You get stark raving mad when someone says God (who doesn’t exist) will send you to Hell (a place that doesn’t exist), and use that as “evidence” that God doesn’t exist.

10 You deny the testimony of countless millions of believers, but trust the research of a few hundred atheist...and call that being "open-minded"

http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread557111/pg1

 

LT,

Yep

often true

sure

not me

I don't

That's right

nope, again not me

Difference between fiction and non-fiction

You're right. Why should we care if neither really exists.

I don't trust the research done by a few hundred atheists on the subject of god anymore than I trust the believer.

What is there to research. IOW, what kind of empirical evidence can we expect to find.

All of the rest is just guesses because nobody can know, only speculate about.

C'mon LT you can do better. There has to be some funnier atheist slams somewhere on the web. I love comedy.

 

i just wanna point out the 'someone says' part..
not everyone speaks for god..

 

Which religions are we comparing here?

 

The one TRUE one vs all tthe other false ones.

 

Sandy. I know you are banned now, and I would oppose that with all my will if you hadn't started on your anti Mexican tirade, which was full of vileness.

All I can say is:
Keep reading this post, which you posted yourself, and try to keep to the spirit of it.
That sparkly "I love Jesus" Gif is brilliant.
Come on Jews, Muslims etc. Compete!

You have deviated very far from the spirit of this post, and I think perhaps it was some emotional illness.

 

Ahh, just can't stand to have your dirty laundry aired. LOL!

 

Which posts deal with this issue? If they do, they are off topic: the OP has nothing to do with comparative religion.

 

I apologise in advance for the below, but you did ask… (I think its what you call a slow news day (post day)

Top Ten Signs You Might Be A Muslim Member
of Al-Qa’ida, Hamas, Hezbollah & the 50
other kinds of Islamic Jihad…
_____________________________________
10. You refine heroin for a living; but you have a moral objection to beer.
9. You own a $500 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher; but you can’t afford shoes.
8. You have more wives than teeth.
7. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can’t think of anyone you HAVEN’T declared Jihad against.
5. You consider television dangerous; but routinely carry ammunition in your robe.
4. You’ve never been asked,‘Does this burka make my ass look big?’
3. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off
roadside bombs.
2. A common compliment is,‘I love what you’ve done with your cave .’ And,
the NUMBER ONE SIGN you might be a Muslim member of Al
Qa’ida & Co. etc:
1. You wipe your ass with your bare hand; but consider
bacon unclean…
http://www.scribd.com/doc/2576888/Top-Ten-Signs-You-Might-Be-A-Muslim-Member-of-Al-Qaida-Etc


Top ten signs you’re a fundamentalist Satsangi

(10) You have never had a profound mystical experience yourself, and you don’t know any other initiates who have had one. But you’re convinced that this is the highest mystic path.

(9) You believe that rites and rituals are useless for attaining God-realization. Yet you go to satsang every Sunday, folding your hands and saying “radha soami” when you walk in the door.

(8) You consider that engaging in pilgrimages and visits to holy places are pointless religious practices. However, the trip you took to India to spend time at the Dera was a highpoint of your spiritual life.

(7) You feel the guru’s loving presence keeping you company throughout the day. However, when you aren’t thinking about the guru or doing the practices he enjoins, you aren’t aware of him. You never wonder, “If someone is only here when I imagine him, is he real?”

(6) You look down on deluded intellectuals, Vedantists, and jnanis who believe they can think their way to God-realization. You know this isn’t possible because you read thoughts in a Sant Mat book that said just that.

(5) You feel terrible if you don’t read the label on a box of cookies and inadvertently eat some egg whites. You never give money to street people, no matter what condition they’re in, because that would be interfering with their karma.

(4) You have worked diligently for years toward merging your soul with God’s spirit, establishing a direct personal relationship with the divine. However, if an impulse or intuition comes to you that isn’t given a thumbs-up by the Sant Mat books, you’re afraid it’s a trick of the “negative power.”

(3) You are grateful that you’ve broken free of traditional religious dogma that required you, without evidence, to have faith that a dead Son of God will save your soul after you die. Yet the only difference is, now you have the same unfounded faith in a living Son of God.

(2) You are committed to expanding your circle of love, compassion, and selfless service beyond the narrow confines of sectarianism. But almost all of your friends are satsangis. And you believe that it is much more important to perform seva for the guru at a local, regional, or national satsang center than to volunteer at a nursing home.

(1) You are absolutely sure that you’re on the direct path of light and sound back to God. Except, you have never seen the light. Or heard the sound. But that doesn’t matter, because the Bible tells you so. Oops, did I write “Bible”? I meant to say “Guru.”

http://hinessight.blogs.com/church_of_the_churchless/2006/07/top_ten_signs_y.html


The Top Ten Signs You’re Doing Business With An Israeli Bank

10. When you make a deposit, rabbi tellers high-five each other.

9. After you get a free toaster, the bank president flees to Israel.

8. Your monthly statements are handwritten from a prison cell.

7. When you want to make a withdrawal, clerks suddenly don’t speak English.

6. You notice the front door to the vault is the back door to the building.

5. Your safety deposit box is a Dunkin’ Donuts carton addressed to Bernie Madoff.

4. All cash deposits go directly into the rabbi’s pants.

3. The song from the 80’s rock group Queen “Another One Bites the Dust” plays continuously

2. Toll-free customer service line is: 1-800-GET-HOSED.

1.The bank’s letterhead Reads: Bank President Ben Bernanke

http://theuglytruth.wordpress.com/2...ns-youre-doing-business-with-an-israeli-bank/

 

I am a questioning Christian - that is, I often question my self, my actions and understandings, and the arguments or actions of other people, including atheists (whom I don't believe to be infallible). I do not question the fact of God's existence, nor do I question the truths of the Bible, which I consider to be the inspired word of God.

Now, to look at your points.

I do not "vigorously" deny the existence of other gods, I calmly and matter-of-factly deny it.

I do not feel outraged when someone denies the existence of my God at all. Neither do any of the Christians I have known. Paul says in I Corinthians that the beliefs of scripture are foolishness to the natural mind, and I also used to not believe in these things. Perhaps your totally unrealistic caricature of Christians makes you feel superior.

I do not feel in the least bit dehumanized by the 19th century fantasy of Darwinism. Secondly, the bible (which you seem not to have read) does not say we were made from dirt only. It says then God breathed into created man the breath of life. This sets us apart from all of the animals. Failure to realize this as led to atheist and secular atrocities - no wonder, if people are only animals.

I and many other Christians do not laugh at polytheists. Nor do we laugh at atheists or agnostics. Rather, we want to help point them in the right direction - toward the God who made them and to whom they will have to give account after death.

Whose face turns purple? This has nothing to do with me or with other Christians I have known. Does your face turn purple when you hear of the events of the Old Testament, but you couldn't care less about millions of people slaughtered in our own times by atheists? Do you care about crimes being comitted today in officially atheist China? Also, God has the right to take life, as he gave it. Millions of babies being killed today doesn't bother you does it?

About laughter, see response to question 8. As to the virgin birth, God coming to earth in human form, dying as a sacrifice for our sins, and rising again, I have no trouble with that now, though for a long time it was totally irrelevant to me.

You have no problem believing that the whole universe, with its order and beauty and scientific law just kind of happened somehow. Was there a big explosion and everything just fell into place? And you have no problem with believing that the first life started somehow (you don't know how) and then evolution worked its magic with some forms changing out of all recognition from their original forms while other forms remained unchanged for hundreds of millions of years.

(a) Many Christians care nothing about finding such loopholes and I am one of them. The age of the earth has nothing whatever to do with the realities of our daily lives now.

(b) Scientific guesstimates of the age of the earth have changed many times and I am sure will change again.

(c) No Christians believe the earth is a couple of generations old (80 years).

(d) The pre-historic tribesman did not guess at or give dates for the age of the earth. Also, the biblical writers were not "pre-historic," the historic era beginning around 3,000 BC with record from Egypt and Ur.

Jesus said that the way that leads to eternal life is narrow and few find it, while the way that leads to hell is broad and easy and many go in by it. Yes, I believe that. Do you find it hard to deal with people whose beliefs are different from yours?

Yet, we consider Christianity tolerant and loving because God loves us enough to forgive us and give us new lives if we repent, and because Christ commands us to be tolerant and loving to other people. That is why many Christians, the vast majority, have never been on a Crusade, never had an inquisition, never burned a witch. As Christians we believe that if we committed a suicide bombing to kill the enemies of God we would be sent straight to hell.

No Christians base their beliefs in the deity of Christ or the reality of the bible in someone speaking in tongues.

You don't know what Christians pray for. Prayer has many levels and works in many ways. It does not only involve asking for things from God. I have had prayers answered but have not counted the percentages.

I get the impression you really do not know what Christians and Christianity are all about. I encourage you to read The Reason for God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism by Timothy Keller(Dutton Adult, February 2008) and you will see that your description of Christians has nothing to do with reality.

 

Signs of being an atheist

Hmm, let's see ... what are some signs of being an atheist?

1. You think "I don't like something, therefore it doesn't exist." Atheism is wishful thinking. You deny God not because of facts, logic, reason, and evidence, but because of personal preference only.

2. You think, "I can't see it or understand it, therefore it doesn't exist." You think your minds are the measure of reality. Big mistake. You need to be more humble.

3. A comparatively small number of people killed over 3,000 years ago (around 1500 BC) makes your face turn purple (just kidding, I know it doesn't really turn purple) but millions of people killed by atheists in our own times don't bother you at all.

4. You argue that crimes committed by theists prove that all theism is bad but crimes committed by atheists do not prove that all atheism is bad.

5. You think life just got started by accident but don't have the faintest idea how that might have happened - and then boast of your reliance on science and fact.

6. You think all of scientific law and the beauties and wonders of nature just happened by accident, with not the faintest idea how it might have started. You are only certain (almost certain? nearly almost certain?) God didn't do it, but you have no evidence at all for this.

7. You believe people are essentially animals, nothing more, but get offended when people wrong you or are disrespectful to you.

8. You believe you are nothing but matter, but get offended when people wrong you or are disrespectful to you (if you want to see the difference between human life and matter, kick a table leg and then kick an atheist in the shins and compare the reactions).

9. You claim all theism is the same, but draw subtle distinctions between different sorts of atheism. Try this experiment: go to the most devout group of bible-believing fundamentalists in America you can find and walk around with a picture of Jesus saying "I don't believe Jesus was the Son of God and you people are nuts." Note the reactions of people. Next, try the same with a group of devout Moslems in Pakistan or Saudi Arabia with a picture of Mohammed and statements against him. Note the reactions.

10. You point to all of the problems of religion but see none of the benefits and many good things it has done, and then claim to be detached and objective.

11. You believe that variations in the sizes of finch beaks prove that lizards turned into birds and reptiles turned into mammals.

12. You claim that we emerged from the animals but are unable to live as if you really were nothing more than an animal. Your theory does not fit life as we live it daily.

I could go on and on but have something else to do now.