Detachable Penis by King Missile I woke up this morning with a bad hangover And my penis was missing again. This happens all the time. It's detachable. [background singing begins: "detachable penis" over and over] This comes in handy a lot of the time. I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble, or I can rent it out, when I don't need it. But now and then I go to a party, get drunk, and the next morning I can't for the life of me remember what I did with it. First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it. So I called up the place where the party was, they hadn't seen it either. I asked them to check the medicine cabinet 'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes But not this time. So I told them if it pops up to let me know. I called a few people who were at the party, but they were no help either. I was starting to get desperate. I really don't like being without my penis for too long. It makes me feel like less of a man, and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak. After a few hours of searching the house, and calling everyone I could think of, I was starting to get very depressed, so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast. Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place, where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street, I saw my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven. Some guy was selling it. I had to buy it off him. He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen. I took it home, washed it off, and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete. People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached, but I don't know. Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass, I like having a detachable penis. [background voices continue to sing "detachable penis" for a while, then out]
Yeah that one's definately in the top 10. Most of King Missile's songs are more than strange, just the titles even: The Boy Made Out of Bone China The Little Sandwich That Got A Guilt Complex Because He Was The Sole Survivor Of A Horrible Bus Crash The Adventures of Planky the Plucky Plankton The Boy Who Ate Lasagna And Could Jump Over A Church And of course, The Miracle of Childbirth...
What about "Henrietta Collins and the Wife Beating Child Haters"? Sure King Missile is strange, but it's not that f-ed up.
Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! She’s just 14 – little movie star queen There isn’t much she hasn’t seen She “did it” in a limousine car She datd pop stars Hey Rainbow Hair, say that’s no where But she always says I’m just a sexy trash can But she’s just a little girl, who thinks like a man And sometimes her Daddy’s spoiled her Sometimes he treated her rough Sometimes she’s gentle Sometimes she’s tough But she is always too nice to the driver She says James have you had your supper And she’s always too high on arrival And she runs on her high platform heels And she falls flat on her face and she knows how life feels She got the moves, yeah she got looks She got the style, she’s read all the books And nobody got her on her hooks She’s on a real smooth trip, yes a real smooth trip She’s always too nice to the driver She says James have you had your supper And she’s always too high on arrival And she runs on her high platform heels And she falls flat on her face and she knows how life feels I see her sipping her Thunderbird wine Wonderin’ if she’s the last word in space and time And she knows she is, She’s so pleased to discover She’s so hip. She’s on a smooth trip. Well she’s always too nice to the driver She says James have you had your supper And she’s always too high on arrival And she runs on her high platform heels And she falls flat on her face and she knows how life feels
Gusto.. that was my life before I found God... :argue: In other news... I've always thought "Slender Fungus" by Tones on Tail was a pretty weird song. Sickly weird. They Might Be Giants always had peculiar, nonsensical lyrics, but I don't think that makes them f'd up.
Ooo! It detaches to do WHAT? I have never heard this song, but have heard of it.. many many times. It's a classic, I'm told.
This may be a horrible zombie thread, but this needed to be posted: We Will Become Silhouettes I've got a cupboard with cans of food, filtered water, And pictures of you and I'm not coming out Until this is all over And I'm looking through the glass where the light bends At the cracks And I'm screaming at the top of my lungs pretending The echoes belong to someone Someone I used to know And we become silhouettes when our bodies finally go Ba ba ba... I wanted to walk through the empty streets And feel something constant under my feet, But all the news reports recommended that I stay indoors Because the air outside will make our cells Divide at an alarming rate until our shells Simply cannot hold all our insides in, And that's when we'll explode (and it won't be a pretty sight) And we'll become silhouettes when our bodies finally go Ba ba ba... And we'll become silhouettes when our bodies finally go Ba ba ba... And we'll become silhouettes when our bodies finally go Ba ba ba... And we'll become silhouettes when our bodies finally go Ba ba ba... And we'll become And we'll become
"She Left Me for Jesus" by Hayes Carll -- a hit in 2008 You should see the video! We'd been datin' since high school; we never once left this town. We went out every weekend and drank till we drowned. But now she's acting funny and I don't understand. I think she's found her some other man. CHORUS She left me for Jesus and that just ain't fair. She says that he's perfect, and how could I compare? She says I should find him and I'll know peace at last. If I ever find Jesus I'm kickin' his ass. She showed me his picture, all I could do was stare At that freak in his sandals and his long pretty hair. They must think I'm stupid, that I don't have a clue. Why I'll bet he's a commie, or worse yet, a Jew. CHORUS She's given up whiskey and taken up wine. While she prays for his troubles, she's forgot about mine. I'm gonna get even, can't handle the shame. Why, the last time we made love she even called out his name. CHORUS Coda: It could have been Carlos, or even Billy or Ted. But if I ever find Jesus, he's gonna wish he was dead. Amen.
Dax Riggs of Acid Bath fame has always had th most consistantly effed up lyrics I've ever heard. The commercial appeal of his voice makes it even more creepy. The weirdest ones I can't even post. Mostly just an abstract haze of drugs, murder and death delivered by a great voice. It's a sickness all his own. As much as I like his voice, I just can't endorse his lyrics.
Here's a newer tune that I love by JB. You know you're Fkd up when it starts to make sense. Jockey Full Of Bourbon-Joe Bonamassa Edna million in a drop dead suit Dutch pink on a downtown train Two dollar pistol but the gun won't shoot I'm in the corner on the pouring rain Sixteen men on a dead man's chest I been drinking from the broken cup Two pairs of pants and a mohair vest I'm full of bourbon and i can't stand up Hey little bird , fly away home Your house is on fire , your children alone Hey little bird , you fly away home Your house is on fire , your children alone Schiffer broke a bottle on Morgan's head I'm stepping on the devil's tail Across the stripes of a full moon's head All through the bar's of a Cuban jail Bloody finger's on a purple knife Flamingo drinking from a cocktail glass I'm on the lawn with someone else's wife Admire the view from the top of the mast Hey little bird , fly away home Your house is on fire , your children alone Hey little bird , fly away home Your house is on fire , your children alone Yellow sheets on a Hong Kong bed Stazybo horn and a slingerland ride To the carnival is what she said A couple hundred dollars makes it dark inside Edna million in a drop dead suit Dutch pink on a downtown train Two dollar pistol but the gun won't shoot I'm in the corner on the pouring rain Hey little bird , fly away home Your house is on fire , your children alone Hey little bird , fly away home Your house is on fire , Children Alone Hey little bird , fly away home Your house is on fire , children alone Hey little bird , fly away home Your house is on fire , your children alone
That's an ancient rhyme from old folk songs and nursery rhymes. I first heard it 50 years ago as: Ladybug, ladybug, fly away home. Your house is on fire and your children will burn. In England, ladybugs became known as "ladybirds." Somewhere in the past "bug" developed a connotation of sodomy, from "buggery" (originally meaning merely heresy), a word we don't use in America. So presumably in the U.K. the verse was changed to "ladybird," which easily becomes "little bird" in the haphazard passing down of nursery rhymes from parents to children.
How has nobody mentioned GWAR yet? I'm thinking Rock'n'Roll Never Felt So Good should be on any list of most fucked-up songs...
Aborted - The Chondrin Enigma http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGkU_ZgOWfs Lyrics: Ooow!!! Alive?!!! Vivified by the reek of depravity A cesspool of existence Emotive, I'm a wreck! Breathing through a Test Tube - Only to realize Hooked to Apparatus - Drilled into my core Horrible muted stench, With rotting flesh I am adorn Alive? Or subsequently a function to maintain In this cesspool of existence Creative, I am a wreck! On the frontier of insanity Awoken now clearly my eyes see red The Chondrin Enigma... Unfolds Amputated - Stumps of pounded beef Consumed - Sodomite cheeks in a composting brew Amputated - Festering pounded meat Consumed - Extracted malformations secrete Kept alive, To service in servitude like a shrivelling mess This gangrenous hive Ignoramus in an obsolete status And now I'm taking control Gathering my scattered mess And now I'm taking control Bleeding the sepsis that cankers in me Bleeding the cancer that is humanity And extirpates it all... Kept alive, To service in servitude like a shrivelling mess This gangrenous hive Ignoramus in an obsolete status Breathing through a Test Tube - Only to realize Hooked to Apparatus - Drilled into my core Horrible muted stench, With rotting flesh I am adorn Alive? Or subsequently a function to maintain In this cesspool of existence Abrasive, I am a wreck! On the frontier of morality Deceased now clearly my eyes bled dry The Chondrin Enigma... Appends Ya!
wtf? She’s just 14 – little movie star queen There isn’t much she hasn’t seen She “did it” in a limousine car She dated pop stars umm, john phillips of the mama and papas singing about his daughter, mackenzie with whom he allegedly had an incestuous affair for 10 years? how is that not the most fucked up? i mean, real life vs hollywood scripts put into verse? /sneer
NOW I CAN DIE by Nina Gordon, formerly half of Veruca Salt He takes me everywhere he goes, And he goes everywhere. He likes to try on all my clothes, But not my underwear. Yeah, he really loves me, "Sweetheart's" and "Turtle Dove's" me. Now I know the secrets of the world. I am the girl and he is the guy. I never thought life could be simple and wise. Surprise! surprise! He opened up my eyes. I understand everything... and now I can die. (This is explained and softened in the later verses, but it blew me out of my car seat the first time I heard it.)
Just not fucked up enough .... Fraggle I keep thinking of Tanita Tikaram's "Poor Cow", but it just doesn't seem fucked up enough for this thread. Nonetheless: "Poor Cow", by Tanita Tikaram Today is my birthday, I stay outside the hall. Inside sit the butterflies For the butterfly ball. All the boys are graded now; They come in their white socks, flat tops And somehow they find a place. All the boys are winning now, They play all the tricks with smiles And a sorry past For poor cow. Their own room And winter tales Never touched these girls before. They hear the car stereo, And know what life is for. All the boys are weary now, Listening to the family sing-song, Family say-so— Must carve, must carve poor cow. Slice her, slice her up, poor cow. Slice her, slice her up, poor cow. Slice her, slice her up, poor cow. Today is my birthday, I stay outside the hall. Inside sit the butterflies For the butterfly ball.
Menace Clan - Record Deal This song was pretty fucked up. I don't give a fuck if the record label drop I don't give a fuck if I sell one copy I'll kill a devil right now and say fuck a record deal We live on Athens Avalon My niggas dying in Babylon I say kill whitey All mighty God Niggas in the church say "Ahhhhhhh" See, I could get a record deal if I said fuck niggas But I can't get no record deal because I say fuck white people I stabbed a fucking Jew with a steeple We ain't equal I drop bombs on uncle toms Niggas shoot niggas for just the fuck of it But I would kill a cracker for the fuck of it Because I don't give a fuck if the record label drop I don't give a fuck if I sell one copy I'll kill a devil right now and scream fuck a record deal! Fuck all that shit you talking about Catch that devil slipping, blow his fucking brains out Just before that video shoot, just before you get that loot Grab that devil in the chokehold Enough weed, that fluid needs to be green Niggas in the maze know what the fuck I mean Because you been killing us Justice will be served Brains splattered all over the curb Motherfucker I say Fuck the Houston police Mothafucka I say fuck the LA police Rappers say they REAL Rappers say they REAL But I'll kill a devil right now and say fuck a record deal! Rappers say they black but I'm blacker I'll take a tec 9 and kill a motherfucking cracker Niggas straight up looting Drive by shooting Menace Clan! Shoot that devil! Shoot that devil! I'm the LAPD killer CIA killer FBI killer Uncle tom killer I'm the white people killer KKK killer Anybody killer!