Are you for or against spanking kids ?.

One of the ways of being an ass is being hypersensitive about getting respect on one's own terms - especially from older folks. We older folks run into that a lot, from the kids.

Another is making snap judgments about people's "attitudes" based on brief and easily misunderstood exchanges - especially people whose "attitudes" are likely to be complicated and developed over many years. Another common feature of the more youthful set's dealings with a larger, older world than they are familiar with.

The rule of thumb that welcomes the young into the world of adults while preventing these kinds of asshole reactions from torpedoing civil society is: respect your elders. It's not a perfect rule, and there are exceptions, but more often than not - - - -.

 

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And another way of being an ass is to assume something negative about someone just because they belong to a certain sector of society.

If I make an ignorant comment I'd hope someone would point it out, not simply tolerate it. That's how I feel towards others, too.

If you automatically assume something about someone, and act on that, sorry, that's ignorant. If you were to automatically assume a black person was a criminal, that would be ignorant behaviour and shouldn't be tolerated. If you were to automatically assume that a woman was a very emotional person and likely to mess up because of being ruled by feelings, that would be ignorant.

Assuming that I'm automatically destructive and lawless by virtue of being 19 is also ignorant. I don't judge others like that, even if I feel emotionally inclined to. I assume others have the same decency.

I do understand that it's better to be less sensitive and not get bothered by small things.

But comments like those piss me off because I take care not to instantly assume things about people based on their age or appearance, so it kind of frustrates me when someone much older than me and who should surely be wiser and know better does it.

 

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And assuming that is the assumption underlying a brief and quite possibly misunderstood remark is - - - - ?

Put it this way: how many other 19 yr olds whom you know, besides yourself, would you think were reliable assessors of the assumptions underlying brief comments in complex situations from middle aged adult strangers?

 

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What else would the assumption be?

If you say someone is likely to have a party and trash the place, of course that means you are making an assumption that they will probably do such a thing. If I say you probably destroy things of course I just made an assumption about out. (unless she was actually just messing around and I took her seriously, which I'll admit to possibly doing. I'm not too skilled at reading people. Her voice did not sound like she was messing though.)

Why was it ok for her to make the comment anyway? I'm quite sure that if I speculated as to an older person's private life I'd be quite rightly seen as rude. But apparently, older people have the right to behave invasively.

Why does it matter how many I know?

 

You can voice you're opinion on the matter, without being disrespectful. I get comments all of the time because of my race, gender, and age. But more often than not people are usually joking, but even if they aren't, it's easy enough to set people straight without being disrespectful about it. Like my grandmother and her friends are always saying sexist things in regards to me. It pisses me off. But how poor of taste would it be to cuss them out? A simple " it's alright I can change the tire myself," satisfies everyone without unnecessarily burning bridges.

 

No you dont "get-it" but at firs i thout you did.... cause you did menton that its the kids that the parents spoiled who are bein so disrespectful... but then you thank the parents shud all the sudden "smack" ther kids for behavin the way that ther parents have trained 'em to behave

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O well... the kids are alredy screwed up... i supose it wont hurt if the parents continue on wit ther bad parentin skills by hittin the kids :shrug:

 

I don't cuss them out. But I don't take crap either.

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That's not what she said. She just doesn't understand why parents put up with it. She already gave an example of what she would do if her son copped the same attitude, "smacking" was not mentioned. So what are you going on about?

 

Yes you are rite... aparently i didnt read all her post OR read what i did read corectly (apologies to Shorty)... it was Shortys mom who woud have "smacked"... Shorty seems to agree wit me that the kids bad behavior was likely taut to 'em by ther parents years ago... an Shorty DOES "get-it"... an it souns like shes raizin her kids by settin a good esample thru love an respect an communicaton an not wit whippins or threats of whippins... an the end result is... she doesnt have to worry that her kids will becom "brats".!!!

 

Thanks Cutsie...

As for you Clueluss......Hallelujah! You finally get it. By the way why don't you install spell check because reading your posts is painful.

 

O... i prefer to jus be me the way i am.!!!

 

well, why is it ok for a parent to raise a child with the mindset of "I'm bigger and stronger and I can hurt you if you don't do as I wish"? Can they honestly be surprised if they reap what they sow when they get elderly and the child becomes the one in control?

I do not assault my children because that's disrespectful. I never want them to think its ok for anyone bigger or more powerful to hurt them.

 

:bravo: AGREED!!!

 

You do not like his spelling and I do not like his avatar.....

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. I hope he will change both and very soon too........

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