21 y/o virgin here

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by stateofmind, Mar 1, 2009.

  1. stateofmind seeker of lies Valued Senior Member

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    Yah I'm confused about my sexuality as well. I've been attracted to both sexes before - it's hard for me to distinguish a preference. I could be bisexual but I don't know for sure.

    I think you're right. Sex should be easy and natural.

    You know I'm open to an encounter with a guy, I don't have any internal conflict about it (although there was a time when I did.) Is it worth noting that I've never met a girl who was on the same level or the same path as me? Whereas I've met numerous guys who were (but were straight.) Are girls supposed to be so different?

    My deepest connections throughout my life have been with guys. I've been hit on by a couple guys I had no interest in and obviously nothing's come about.

    Many girls, in all honesty, annoy me. So many of the ones I know are just superficial. I've never met a pretty girl that wasn't superficial and had any interest in me. Except when I was really young, I haven't had a true friend that was a girl. And while I have no sexual interest in any of my gay friends, I find that they're some of the truest people I know. It seems really imbalanced that this would happen.
     
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  3. electrafixtion Registered Senior Member

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    emboldened above: Absolutely. That's what normally leads to both a physical and psychological level of attraction to begin with. If it were not so, the human race would have went extinct long prior to SciForums.

    Have you explored the notion of asexuality? It doesn't honestly sound like you are describing much of a personal sex drive at all. Sexual orientation is not something you should have to consternate over.

    You should really consult a therapist and I certainly don't mean that in a negative or overtly presumptuous way.
     
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  5. theobserver is a simple guy... Registered Senior Member

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    Did you tried advertising on ebay??

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    May be you should. You never know which hottie might be interested in an unexplored beauty of nature.

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  7. stateofmind seeker of lies Valued Senior Member

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    Well thanks for the advice, although I must admit that the prospect of being asexual frightens me.

    I don't really see how I could be as I masturbate anywhere from daily to every other day and asexuality is characterized as a lack of sexual drive, right?

    I don't watch porn but the content of my fantasies varies from male to female.

    Yah, I've thought about consulting a therapist but I don't have any money right now and my mom's tight on cash and my father has made it clear that he has no intention of providing the funds for one. I suppose that's what I'll do when I get a chance.
     
  8. Absane Rocket Surgeon Valued Senior Member

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    If you come up with a few good stories and convince yourself they are true, who's to know the difference? Or, you could say some bullshit like "I'm not so insecure about my sexuality that I have to go brag about every slut I banged." That will work.

    As for "being a man," a real man gets shit done... sex is just icing on the cake. Go build a skyscraper with a paper clip and some dry wall... you'll get laid.

    If you look at a girl and the first thing you think of is grabbing those hips and thrusting your junk up her ass, you are not asexual. Asexual people are those with very little to zero sexual drive.

    You're draining your sex drive by masturbating before it overtakes you. Go for two weeks without looking at porn or spanking your monkey... I'd love for you to tell me that you can't even look at a female without getting a stiffy (or is that just me?).

    In all honesty, I doubt that you are bisexual. At least in my experience, bisexuality is more common among females than it is in males. But, you are probably WAY more comfortable around men than you are women and since you aren't getting pussy, your subconscious is considering that it might be easier to get sex by doing a dude. After all, it's easier to find dick than it is vagina.

    All a therapist is going to do is give you an outlet for frustration and tell you to get out more often. Definitely not worth $200 an hour.
     
  9. stateofmind seeker of lies Valued Senior Member

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    That's a slippery slope man.. after a while would you be able to trust yourself at all?

    Other than that I agree with what you're saying. If I didn't masturbate for 2 weeks straight and then had sex I'd probably be done in 10 seconds flat. I guess that's part of the plan though.

    And yah therapists are expensive as shit.

    Your words are raunchy but I feel like your intentions are pure. Perhaps I'll try the 2 week challenge and see what happens...
     
  10. Absane Rocket Surgeon Valued Senior Member

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    If you lie to the point that you forget that it's actually a lie, then you have some issues. The best liars are those that know how to convince themselves.

    Yes, you'll be done in 10 seconds. However, when you don't masturbate and cut off all sexual stimulation, you'll have little choice but to find some action. Believe me... when you are calm and horny, you'll do whatever you can to find action. If you do, just jerk off 30 minutes before hand... then you'll last at least 15 seconds.

    You should try eating more monounsaturated fats

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    You'll probably fail after 3 days but keep trying.
     
  11. draqon Banned Banned

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    you know just forget other punks have sex. Just live life like you are now and enjoy what you got. Because women are hard to be trusted.
     
  12. Absane Rocket Surgeon Valued Senior Member

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    I'm sorry that you were misled by the transsexual Mexican

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  13. draqon Banned Banned

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    nope not even close. she was a real girl, and just as a real girl, broke yet another heart. I should have known.
     
  14. jessiej920 Shake them dice and roll 'em Valued Senior Member

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    1,678
    Oh sheesh. Oh Good Goddess. Where to even start with you my fine friend

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    First: Sex. Sex, sex, sex. It's overrated by all means if you are not with the right partner or gender. Truly, it doesn't matter what the fuck age you are. I lost the V card when I was 15 to a guy I thought I was in love with and it sucked, sucked, sucked. I would have rather been 21 and in love with the man I am with now and lost it to him, rather then all those years ago with that stupid prick of a boy I gave my virginity too. First of all...get over the age thing. No one cares about age.

    Second, try and find what excites you. What gets you all hot and bothered? What makes you feel comfortable with your sexuality? Once you find that out, you will be more comfortable going out and seeking it. Once you decipher your sexual triggers you will no longer be afraid or ashamed of them. It is okay to like men and women (I do) and it is okay to only like one or the other. You need to become more comfortable with your sexual self instead of worrying about what others will think of your sexual preferences.

    Third...self-exploration. Try out different sexual scenarios with yourself. Try different types of erotic material. Try something daring. Go out to a gay bar and hit on someone and see if you like it. Go out to a mixed bar and hit on someone of the opposite sex and see if you like it. Feel comfortable with yourself first.

    Fourth...go out and buy this book. I mean it. It's called My Gender Workbook and the author is Kate Barnstein. It's an amazing book that might help guide you through your troubles with your sexuality. I loved it and it really did help me come to terms with some of my own issues. It's an active book with quizzes, challenges, puzzles, journal spaces and the like so it's not just a boring read. Check it out and see if it works for you. It's also not just for women. The author is actually a man who had a sex change and is now a woman (Kate) so you can see that she's had quite a bit of experience in the area of discovering her sexuality. Honestly, if you are too embarrassed to buy it yourself order it online or e-mail me and I will send you a copy. Seriously.

    Fifth...have fun with your sexuality!!! Don't be scared of it! Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Know that every human on this planet is a sexual being in some sort of way and some where out there is the right partner for you.

    Don't be embarrassed. Just be yourself. Fuck what society says men should be like. Your only 21! You have a 100 years to have sex with tons of other people. Find yourself first. Find what you enjoy first and then go out and seek it!

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    Good Luck!
     
  15. electrafixtion Registered Senior Member

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    stateofmind
    I would like to ask your forgiveness ahead of time because I am going to be very direct with you. Please do not think me egotistical and some kind of forum control freak.

    I would like you to concentrate your memory on one key developmental element with respect to human attraction.

    As a young boy what were your first human to human attraction based fantasies. I am not talking about masturbation. These will be ego based discernments prior to any knowledge of sexual activity. I am talking about fantasized emulations of love and admiration for those you came in actual contact with as a boy. This might have been a class mate. This might have been a parental friend's child that you only met once or twice. It might have been a baby sitter.

    You must be VERY careful when accomplishing this task. It's extremely easy to be fooled by yourself. Once you have arrived at the earliest beginning possible, were you confused then, as you are now? Did you have to struggle to determine your sexual orientation? If the answer is an honest self assessed negative, your issue is one that is most likelypsychological rather than physiological in nature.

    Confusion in any non artificially induced mental situation is a natural rationally abstract bi-product of instinctual fear.

    most confusion is cognitively memory based.
     
  16. phlogistician Banned Banned

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    Stateofmind, ignore electrafixtion, he's channelling psychologists from the Planet Zog.
     
  17. stateofmind seeker of lies Valued Senior Member

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    Thank you jessie for your advice and encouragement, I'm going to check out that book when I get a chance.

    I'm going to come back to this later today because this question you've asked me electrafixtion has triggered a memory of mine which is far too personal for me to share even here and which may have a lot to do with my sexual dysfunction. Thanks for the lead.
     
  18. electrafixtion Registered Senior Member

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    and you are channeling what exactly? Still up to your old attention getting tricks?
     
  19. electrafixtion Registered Senior Member

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    949

    Excellent!
     
  20. phlogistician Banned Banned

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    How's planet Zog?
     
  21. electrafixtion Registered Senior Member

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    I give up. How is it?
     
  22. jessiej920 Shake them dice and roll 'em Valued Senior Member

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    Let me tell you, I work on planet Zog. The weather is great, but the job is shit and moral is low, still we push on.
     
  23. draqon Banned Banned

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    your the second woman who claims she is from another planet...

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