Would you let your wife have guy friends?

shorty_37

I've never said that I wasn't jealous, for I was when I found out she was seeing someone else behind my back. Although for many years I never thought about her cheating and trusted her completely. I do believe that's why she cheated because I did trust her completely so that she thought she could get away with cheating. Once you trust someone, anyone implicitly they can use you to their advantage. That's why the smartest people take advantage of the uneducated, because they gain their trust first then strike but subtly as to not get noticed!

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Maybe she saw your complete trust as not caring?
I don't know, just maybe.
I know I've given my husband a 'raised eye-brow' look before that lets him know I don't like that woman sitting on his lap, but I've never gone into a rant about it, nor have I grilled him.

 

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So she wanted her "independence" and I gave it to her, not questioning her about what she did with others at her job but did ask about her job as a matter of conversation many times. I was always wondering how she was doing within her work and what she was earning as well. Promotions I also asked about as well as many other things job related. Trusting your wife/husband doesn't mean to be prying into everything they do, that's up to them to talk about if they wish to.

 

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You didn't even know what she earned? What kind of partnership is that?

 

Because we had a joint account and we would both put money into that but she had her own private account as well and that's something I didn't realize for many, many years!

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LOL

I guess in that situation since the guy was your friend, I'd have probably sat back and let you handle it yourself too. But had it been any other guy that knew we were together, it would have been on.
I guess it's just the Marine in me that has that mentality.
And there wouldn't be any insult trading. It would have been me chewing his ass out and him standing there listening to it.
And if he did say something, I'd find something to say (as I have that talent) to push his buttons to the point where he'd want to take a swing at me.
Now granted, everything I would say to him would be addressed in a tactful manner.
It would probably be something like this:
"Hey, you mind telling me why you are not only hitting on my woman right in front of my face, you're also disrespecting me as a person? HUH? Who the fuck do you think you are?"

ORRRR, I could be a bit more sinister and just be quiet as he made his comments and wait until she was out of earshot, then go up to him and say:
Dude, that was most disrespectful, to both me and her. If I hear of you making anymore passes at her and especially if you disrespect me again, you and I are going to have major problems that will most likely result in you getting a beat down. Do you understand me?

Then if he tries to tell her that I said that, I will deny it. And if I stayed quiet during that time he hit on her, she's not going to be inclined to believe him anyway.

I won't deny that I would love confrontation in that aspect, but it's not because I had something to prove.
I'm real big on courtesy, politeness and respect where it's warranted. I believe respect is earned not given. But I am not the type of person that can stand there and allow someone to disrespect me and not say something about it. I just can't. I consider disrespect as a symbolic slap in the face. I dunno about you Bells, but if someone slaps me in the face, I'm not just gonig to stand there. They are getting slapped back.

You are very correct. That's exactly why I'm not married. I know who I am and refuse to change. Unfortunately, women tend to expect you to change (they disguise it by calling it 'compromise') when you are in a relationship.

Many, many people do Bells. I've seen it firsthand. Some settle because they are afraid of being alone. Some settle because they don't have the patience to wait for someone who is compatible with them. Some settle because they have a low opinion of themselves and think they can't get any better. Very sad.

Yes we are. But if I was in a relationship and was as far along as you were when that happened, I think I'd be at the point of knowing whether or not the girl was trustworthy.

Now, all that off topic stuff said, if I can trust her to have guy friends, she better damn well show me the same trust with female friends.

 

who can stop some one haveing guy freinds?

seriously, i have lots of guy friends and i am more relaxed around them than i am women

 

Would you let your wife have gay friends?

 

i am female therefore don't have a wife, but if the question was to me then yes i would,. why not?

 

In what respect? To go out with to events or just to stop over to say hello at our home?

 

Why not? One of my best friends is gay. I also have several other acquaintences that are gay as well.

 

I think that would worry my husband more than a guy friend. I am much more touchy feely with a woman than I am with guys. I can also spend the night at a female friends house (in the same bed), where spending the night at a guys wouldn't be ok. Let alone in the same bed.

 

Which is why I asked the question in this thread.

 

Why, afraid they'll no longer be gay just for you? I think my boyfriend used to think that about my best friend that he'd somehow one day no longer be gay and that I would want to run off with my ex-gay best friend. :roflmao:

 

I don't understand this...

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So are you saying gay men are like women?

 

i am not a jealous person, My Bf has lots of female friends and he comes home to me at the end of the day, he is even friends with ex's and it doesnt bother me, and in fact i get on well with them aswell i even go out for drinks with them,

 

That would be really strange for me, the going out for drinks part. Do you ever end up talking about him?

 

yeah all the time, she mentioned that he looks a lot happier with me than her, and i end up telling her all about his new habits and stuff and we just get along so well, i just got nothing to be jealous of he comes home to me and sleeps with me and thats it

 

Oh, I was thinking gay female friends. They are interested in women like men are, so that's what I thought he was asking about.

Stranger, were you asking about gay men? Did I misunderstand the question? I think my husband would care the least about them.