Most fucked up songs of all time

Detachable Penis by King Missile

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.

[background singing begins:
"detachable penis" over and over]

This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think
it's gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
and the next morning I can't for the life of me
remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down
every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue
towards St. Mark's Place,
where all those people sell used books
and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I
talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get
it permanently attached,
but I don't know.
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis.

[background voices continue to sing "detachable penis" for
a while, then out]

 

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Yeah that one's definately in the top 10. Most of King Missile's songs are more than strange, just the titles even:

The Boy Made Out of Bone China
The Little Sandwich That Got A Guilt Complex Because He Was The Sole Survivor Of A Horrible Bus Crash
The Adventures of Planky the Plucky Plankton
The Boy Who Ate Lasagna And Could Jump Over A Church

And of course, The Miracle of Childbirth...

 

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macarthur's park

 

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What about "Henrietta Collins and the Wife Beating Child Haters"? Sure King Missile is strange, but it's not that f-ed up.

 

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She’s just 14 – little movie star queen
There isn’t much she hasn’t seen
She “did it” in a limousine car
She datd pop stars
Hey Rainbow Hair, say that’s no where

But she always says
I’m just a sexy trash can
But she’s just a little girl, who thinks like a man
And sometimes her Daddy’s spoiled her
Sometimes he treated her rough
Sometimes she’s gentle
Sometimes she’s tough

But she is always too nice to the driver
She says James have you had your supper
And she’s always too high on arrival
And she runs on her high platform heels
And she falls flat on her face and she knows how life feels

She got the moves, yeah she got looks
She got the style, she’s read all the books
And nobody got her on her hooks
She’s on a real smooth trip, yes a real smooth trip

She’s always too nice to the driver
She says James have you had your supper
And she’s always too high on arrival
And she runs on her high platform heels
And she falls flat on her face and she knows how life feels

I see her sipping her Thunderbird wine
Wonderin’ if she’s the last word in space and time
And she knows she is, She’s so pleased to discover
She’s so hip. She’s on a smooth trip.

Well she’s always too nice to the driver
She says James have you had your supper
And she’s always too high on arrival
And she runs on her high platform heels
And she falls flat on her face and she knows how life feels​

 

Gusto.. that was my life before I found God... :argue:

In other news...

I've always thought "Slender Fungus" by Tones on Tail was a pretty weird song. Sickly weird.

They Might Be Giants always had peculiar, nonsensical lyrics, but I don't think that makes them f'd up.

 

Ooo! It detaches to do WHAT?

I have never heard this song, but have heard of it.. many many times. It's a classic, I'm told.

 

Negativland's song making fun of U2, featuring out takes of Kasey Kasem talking dirty?

 

This may be a horrible zombie thread, but this needed to be posted:

We Will Become Silhouettes

I've got a cupboard with cans of food, filtered water,
And pictures of you and I'm not coming out
Until this is all over
And I'm looking through the glass where the light bends
At the cracks
And I'm screaming at the top of my lungs pretending
The echoes belong to someone
Someone I used to know

And we become silhouettes when our bodies finally go
Ba ba ba...

I wanted to walk through the empty streets
And feel something constant under my feet,
But all the news reports recommended that
I stay indoors
Because the air outside will make our cells
Divide at an alarming rate until our shells
Simply cannot hold all our insides in,
And that's when we'll explode
(and it won't be a pretty sight)

And we'll become silhouettes when our bodies finally go
Ba ba ba...
And we'll become silhouettes when our bodies finally go
Ba ba ba...
And we'll become silhouettes when our bodies finally go
Ba ba ba...
And we'll become silhouettes when our bodies finally go
Ba ba ba...

And we'll become
And we'll become

 

Dax Riggs of Acid Bath fame has always had th most consistantly effed up lyrics I've ever heard. The commercial appeal of his voice makes it even more creepy.
The weirdest ones I can't even post. Mostly just an abstract haze of drugs, murder and death delivered by a great voice. It's a sickness all his own. As much as I like his voice, I just can't endorse his lyrics.

 

Here's a newer tune that I love by JB. You know you're Fkd up when it starts to make sense.

Jockey Full Of Bourbon-Joe Bonamassa

Edna million in a drop dead suit
Dutch pink on a downtown train
Two dollar pistol but the gun won't shoot
I'm in the corner on the pouring rain
Sixteen men on a dead man's chest
I been drinking from the broken cup
Two pairs of pants and a mohair vest
I'm full of bourbon and i can't stand up

Hey little bird , fly away home
Your house is on fire , your children alone
Hey little bird , you fly away home
Your house is on fire , your children alone

Schiffer broke a bottle on Morgan's head
I'm stepping on the devil's tail
Across the stripes of a full moon's head
All through the bar's of a Cuban jail
Bloody finger's on a purple knife
Flamingo drinking from a cocktail glass
I'm on the lawn with someone else's wife
Admire the view from the top of the mast

Hey little bird , fly away home
Your house is on fire , your children alone
Hey little bird , fly away home
Your house is on fire , your children alone

Yellow sheets on a Hong Kong bed
Stazybo horn and a slingerland ride
To the carnival is what she said
A couple hundred dollars makes it dark inside
Edna million in a drop dead suit
Dutch pink on a downtown train
Two dollar pistol but the gun won't shoot
I'm in the corner on the pouring rain

Hey little bird , fly away home
Your house is on fire , your children alone
Hey little bird , fly away home
Your house is on fire , Children Alone

Hey little bird , fly away home
Your house is on fire , children alone
Hey little bird , fly away home
Your house is on fire , your children alone

 

I have to agree, he's the most fucked up rock and roller ever.

 

How has nobody mentioned GWAR yet?

I'm thinking Rock'n'Roll Never Felt So Good should be on any list of most fucked-up songs...

 

Aborted - The Chondrin Enigma

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGkU_ZgOWfs

Lyrics:

Ooow!!! Alive?!!!

Vivified by the reek of depravity
A cesspool of existence
Emotive, I'm a wreck!

Breathing through a Test Tube
- Only to realize
Hooked to Apparatus
- Drilled into my core
Horrible muted stench,
With rotting flesh
I am adorn

Alive?
Or subsequently a function to maintain
In this cesspool of existence
Creative, I am a wreck!
On the frontier of insanity
Awoken now clearly my eyes see red
The Chondrin Enigma... Unfolds

Amputated
- Stumps of pounded beef
Consumed - Sodomite cheeks in a composting brew
Amputated
- Festering pounded meat
Consumed - Extracted malformations secrete

Kept alive,
To service in servitude like a shrivelling mess
This gangrenous hive
Ignoramus in an obsolete status

And now I'm taking control
Gathering my scattered mess
And now I'm taking control
Bleeding the sepsis that cankers in me
Bleeding the cancer that is humanity
And extirpates it all...

Kept alive,
To service in servitude like a shrivelling mess
This gangrenous hive
Ignoramus in an obsolete status

Breathing through a Test Tube
- Only to realize
Hooked to Apparatus
- Drilled into my core
Horrible muted stench,
With rotting flesh
I am adorn

Alive?
Or subsequently a function to maintain
In this cesspool of existence
Abrasive, I am a wreck!
On the frontier of morality
Deceased now clearly my eyes bled dry
The Chondrin Enigma... Appends
Ya!

 

wtf?


She’s just 14 – little movie star queen
There isn’t much she hasn’t seen
She “did it” in a limousine car
She dated pop stars

umm, john phillips of the mama and papas singing about his daughter, mackenzie with whom he allegedly had an incestuous affair for 10 years?

how is that not the most fucked up?
i mean, real life vs hollywood scripts put into verse?

/sneer

 

Just not fucked up enough ....

Fraggle

I keep thinking of Tanita Tikaram's "Poor Cow", but it just doesn't seem fucked up enough for this thread. Nonetheless:

"Poor Cow", by Tanita Tikaram

Today is my birthday,
I stay outside the hall.
Inside sit the butterflies
For the butterfly ball.

All the boys are graded now;
They come in their white socks, flat tops
And somehow they find a place.
All the boys are winning now,
They play all the tricks with smiles
And a sorry past
For poor cow.

Their own room
And winter tales
Never touched these girls before.
They hear the car stereo,
And know what life is for.

All the boys are weary now,
Listening to the family sing-song,
Family say-so—

Must carve, must carve poor cow.
Slice her, slice her up, poor cow.
Slice her, slice her up, poor cow.
Slice her, slice her up, poor cow.

Today is my birthday,
I stay outside the hall.
Inside sit the butterflies
For the butterfly ball.​

 

Menace Clan - Record Deal

This song was pretty fucked up.

I don't give a fuck if the record label drop
I don't give a fuck if I sell one copy
I'll kill a devil right now and say fuck a record deal
We live on Athens Avalon
My niggas dying in Babylon
I say kill whitey
All mighty God
Niggas in the church say "Ahhhhhhh"
See, I could get a record deal if I said fuck niggas
But I can't get no record deal because I say fuck white people
I stabbed a fucking Jew with a steeple
We ain't equal
I drop bombs on uncle toms
Niggas shoot niggas for just the fuck of it
But I would kill a cracker for the fuck of it
Because I don't give a fuck if the record label drop
I don't give a fuck if I sell one copy
I'll kill a devil right now and scream fuck a record deal!
Fuck all that shit you talking about
Catch that devil slipping, blow his fucking brains out
Just before that video shoot, just before you get that loot
Grab that devil in the chokehold
Enough weed, that fluid needs to be green
Niggas in the maze know what the fuck I mean
Because you been killing us
Justice will be served
Brains splattered all over the curb
Motherfucker I say
Fuck the Houston police
Mothafucka I say fuck the LA police
Rappers say they REAL
Rappers say they REAL
But I'll kill a devil right now and say fuck a record deal!
Rappers say they black but I'm blacker
I'll take a tec 9 and kill a motherfucking cracker
Niggas straight up looting
Drive by shooting
Menace Clan!
Shoot that devil! Shoot that devil!
I'm the
LAPD killer
CIA killer
FBI killer
Uncle tom killer
I'm the white people killer
KKK killer
Anybody killer!