The importance of being hated

well raven we just have to end this as we don't see eye to eye on this......and i rephrase everything to MOST everyone.......not all.

 

Log in or Sign up to hide all adverts.

Let me ask you this...

If you thought it was possible to never fight (not argue, but fight) with your husband, would you want that?

 

Log in or Sign up to hide all adverts.

k first when you say argue.......what is that to you just a disagreement and talking it out back and forth? does it get heated? do you yell? do you say things you shouldn't what?

 

Log in or Sign up to hide all adverts.

By my definition, a healthy argument becomes an unhealthy fight when it gets emotional and personal attacks happen and you say things you shouldn't have.
When your arguments are aimed at the person you are arguing with, as opposed to being aimed at the arguments themselves.
When you start insulting the other person.
When you are mean.
When you scream at each other.
When you say things intended to hurt the person you are arguing with, hit below the belt or "push buttons".

When an argument gets personal, it is a fight.

 

perfectly said.

peace.

 

ok gotcha .......well sure I don't like to fight, does anybody really.....I just find it not possible for that to NEVER happen when you are with someone your whole life...i have a feeling this discussion could go on for pages.
I think maybe its getting off track is it?

 

Thanks, man.

Who cares?
When did that ever make a difference here?
Besides, the original post was kind of silly and going nowhere anyway - otherwise people would still be talking about it.
I actually took it as tongue-in-cheek, didn't you?
Let discussions take their organic course.

Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

I think that this conversation is actually getting somewhere.

Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

Yes, actually, quite a few people do.
That's why I asked.
I have known quite a few people wo get bored if they aren't fighing with their "lovers".

Again - I don't want to get hung up on this, but it is a very important distinction, I think.
Do you think it is impossible - or do you think it is rare?

I certainly hope so - I think it's a good one!
Maybe it will go on for weeks.
I have been in some REALLY good ones that lasted for MONTHS, believe it or not!

 

just bring back the hate and its back on track again.


peace.

 

It's getting there.

Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

 

Shit raven I feel like you are disecting me with all your quotes lol
I feel you want to get to the root of who I am .......and make me into
the person you wish i was lolol j/k

Maybe its me....hell I don't know.....maybe I just can't get along with anybody and never have a fight......

K what do you do if your partner starts something and starts calling you names?

 

Am loving your posts one_raven.

Take it easy man.

 

WHAT NOT LOVING MY POSTS? did you come for moral support or what? lol

 

i judge angry confrontation in 2 ways, either its going to be physical and kick off. or its going to be somebody just venting some steam and all talk,

if its the first then i will disable the threat as fast as i can, if its the second i will just laugh and suggest a more productive way to vent angry emotions.

if you get caught up in angry emotions aswell then its going to lead to nothing productive.

peace.

 

She doesn't.
It has never happened in this relationship.
That's where the maturity and respect comes in.

In the past when it has happened, I walked out.
I went for a drive, a walk, a bike ride etc.
When I came back, I was able to address her calmly and tell her that what she did was unacceptable, and I will not stand for it.
If it continued to happen, I walked out and did not come back.

I demand the same respect I give.
If you reciprocate it just becomes a downward spiral.
If you don't put a stop to it, not only does it not end, it always gets worse.

When your partner attacks you personally you end up being on guard.
When you are on guard, you are defensive.
When you are defensive, you don't feel safe.

What kind of home do you have if you don't feel safe in it?
What kind of relationship do you have if you don't have real trust?

 

Thanks.

It's nice to see that I am not alone here in this way of thinking.

 

You most certainly are not.

Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

 

Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

I know I know I am the outcast here......where the hell is baron would you help me out here? Anybody?????....come on . I cant be the only one who finds it hard to beleive that a couple in their lifetime
NEVER fight.

 

i have the same opinion as you, but i also think that if you are close to the person and respect them, then you will try to help them with the problem, because alot of the time when a person attacks others personaly, they might have a problem within them,

so helping them purge and heal there own problems can be effective for all concerned,

i will always try to help somebody as much as i can before walking out on them,


peace.

 

Awwww....poor Shorty. :bawl: The whole world is out to get her.
Actually I think you and Raven are talking about the same thing, just a miscommunication.
I agree with Raven with his post...

How would you react if your SO started attacking you personally during an argument, Shorty? You don't seem like the type of woman to put up with any shit.

 

couples fight, but i dont liek fighting with women or my words, i have constructive debates with my voice, i fight with my weapon or my body,


ofcourse i have lost my temper in the past and faught with loved ones, but learning from your mistakes is vital, the best way to deal with a fight is to just not get involved in it,

as raven said walk away and give the person space, talk about it when you are calm, no sense will be made and no progress will come of it if you are angry.

biang calm and productive is key.

peace.