Capo maybe don't be so hard on yourself. From what I have read here you don't appear any better or worse than anyone I know. Are you a Lene Marlin fan?
When you say that you never get bad conscience when you do something wrong, what do you mean? Have you ever hurt someone and regretted it? Have you ever hurt someone and not regretted it? Do you simply refrain from hurting someone when you know that it is wrong? Do you find it impossible to see the logic of feeling remorse when you hurt someone unintentionally? Or do you just fail to feel bad when you make an honest mistake?
I can totally relate to how you're feeling. I'm 32 and have suffered from bi-polar since at least 12 years old, possibly longer. I also fit some of the criteria for MPD and for sociopathy (if that's the right word)...I wish I had some definite answers for you, but I'm still trying to figure it all out myself. Sometimes, I think the only reason I've never killed anyone is because my desire for freedom and independence is much stronger than my need to hurt or seek revenge. I do find it hard to fight off the urge to respond innappropriately to people getting hurt, a lot. For some reason, I tend to find it funny. Sick, I know. Again, no answers, just letting you know I understand.
IF YOUR NOT IN TOUCH WITH YOUR FEELINGS.... you probubly have high testosterone levels. i have increased my levels.. and yes.. it makes me less emotional.. less compassionate... less concerned about others feelings. and my desire to smash things.. and beat other people up is higher. the opposite happens.. with estrogen intake... i.e... drink alot of soy milk.. high in isoflaviniods... and you will become more in touch with your feelings.... which is why i dont drink it anymore. it maybe just what you need.... to be more feeling. -MT
yeah yeah.... BUT I STOPPED taking it for a while.... it caused rosasia on my leg... luckily its not my face... as other have told me they had from its use.... anyway... if you drink soy milk... it negate the benefit of the testosterone. i drank alot of soy milk... and it did make me less manly.. and more feeling..... thats why i wont touch soy products ever again. -MT
I'm very confused to. I've been trying to figure it out for a long time, but I will most likely never find the answer. It's like I'm split in two, but the "sociopathic" part of me is the most active one. Sometimes I say hurtful things to people for pure fun. I think we are of the same kind. It's too complicated to be expressed in words. I hate being mentally ill.
I'm kinda the same. I have no guilt. Or conscience. I broke into a church the other day. Smashed 8 stained glass windows. Caused and i quote "Thousands of pounds worth of damage", stole over £500 worth of Music Equipment, made a cup of tea then left. It made the papers. And i find it funny, no guilt or anything. Also im very cold towards people, and like you say theres only a very select few who i care for. And would do anything for. But anyone else can go to hell for all i care. If either of my parents died, i wouldn't shed a tear. But if my best mate died i'd probably go on a rampage of some sort. BUT the difference with me is that i know i have a problem - I just don't care. I'm not gonna have some shrink tell me who i am, and im defiantely not gonna poison my body with meds these "Snake Oil Merchants" try and give me. I find alcohol and weed balance me out nicely. I love my life!
ACCORDING TO jESUS.... Matthew 25.... if you dont care... and wont help others in need. then you are prepared for the devil... and will burn in hell. he said.. there are two kinds of people. sheep... who care... love.. share and want to help others. then.. goats... who dont give a shit. the sheep, go to heaven. the goats burn in hell..... and deserve it. dont be a goat. even if you dont care... learn to.... its not that hard.. and mostly.... HABITUAL. -MT
I'd suggest that sciforums is not the best place to seek psychiatric advice. Very few people here are mental health professionals. The best person to talk to is a doctor or psychologist. But if you insist on using the internet, then there are plenty of online support groups for people with all kinds of mental illness. Why not contact them instead? They'll be more helpful than most people here.
People have different personalities. So long as you don't start killing people, who cares? Will giving your personality type a name really make any difference?
Capo Crimini, Sociopaths believe that they care about their families while they don't really do. So caring about your family doesn't mean you are not a sociopath, because maybe you just believe you care while that's not true at all. So you are bipolar? That's a modd disorder. Doesn't mean you are a sociopath. Now, tell me about your past. Were your childhood sad? Were you under some kind of extreme circumstance?
Typical bipolar. Doesn't sound very sociopathic. It depends on how functional your relationships are... For example, if you make a mistake, do you tend to blame other people? How easy it is for you to admit that you made a mistake?
Sociopathic tenancies, like all other forms of schizophrenia, lamentably really are largely down to a matter of degree. You can't diagnose these things over the internet. It's a typical misconception that sociopathic tendencies manifest themselves in Hannibal Lecter and and chainsaw waving maniacs exclusively. Like everything, there's a spectrum. For example, you say you have empathy for the few people you care for - but actually, do you? If by the term empathy you take it to mean you don't coldy tell your closest family members to simply die whenever it suits - is this actual empathy or simply self preservation? Sociopaths generally have a highly developed sense of self preservation and develop all kinds of mechanisms by which they can effect the appearance of genuine emotional response - that isn't to say they can actually connect, but one can genuinely say to oneself that one does and believe it. After all, what does it really matter, right?
Capo, you say you've been seeing a psychotherapist. What kind? Psychiatrist (M.D.) or one with a degree in psychology or social work? I would imagine it's an M.D. because you're taking medication. In either case I doubt that your diagnosis is as dire as some of the suggestions you've received here because a professional would have a responsibility to do more than talk and give you pills. They don't let psychopaths and sociopaths walk around in public between counseling sessions. Would you mind sharing with us some of the things you and your doctor have discovered? It would give us a lot more to work with if you're willing.
Heres my quick take on it. You say that you have empathy and mention that you are able to shut a person out with out remorse and therefore care for very few people. Lets have a look at the old tarot cards....hmmmm...ok....[ a joke btw] It is because empathy is most painful when confronted with a person you care about or love that is suffering, that you instinctively protect yourself by shutting out that person and avoiding the pain that the empathy generates. Learing to live and cope with a profound empathic ability is not easy, and especially as it is strongly relevant to those you love or would like to love. Having an uncontrolled and profound empathic ability can be very debilitating and as far as I know there are no easy pills to take to fix the problem but sheer hard work on your part in coming to terms with that ability. The first step is of course understanding, which is what you are attempting to find with this thread. best of luck QQ
