EDIT:

so as usual, after awhile, i pull back and think "well..i dont want anybody reading all that. it's mine. and i dont want to share it with anyone. not until things are right...then i will shout everything so that the whole world hears."

thanks draqon and timm for your input.
i know this is something only i can figure out.
no need to have someone reading all that rambling.
cheers.


'night ol chaps.



------------------------

"I fell in love again
all things go, all things go
drove to Chicago
all things know, all things know
we sold our clothes to the state
I don't mind, I don't mind
I made a lot of mistakes
in my mind, in my mind

you came to take us
all things go, all things go
to recreate us
all things grow, all things grow
we had our mindset
all things know, all things know
you had to find it
all things go, all things go

I drove to New York
in the van, with my friend
we slept in parking lots
I don't mind, I don't mind
I was in love with the place
in my mind, in my mind
I made a lot of mistakes
in my mind, in my mind

you came to take us
all things go, all things go
to recreate us
all things grow, all things grow
we had our mindset
all things know, all things know
you had to find it
all things go, all things go

if I was crying
in the van, with my friend
it was for freedom
from myself and from the land
I made a lot of mistakes
I made a lot of mistakes
I made a lot of mistakes
I made a lot of mistakes

you came to take us
all things go, all things go
to recreate us
all things grow, all things grow
we had our mindset
all things know, all things know
you had to find it
all things go, all things go

you came to take us
all things go, all things go
to recreate us
all things grow, all things grow
we had our mindset
(I made a lot of mistakes)
all things know, all things know
(I made a lot of mistakes)
you had to find it
(I made a lot of mistakes)
all things go, all things go
(I made a lot of mistakes)"


cheers.

yeah its all like that.

yeah its all like that.

your reply is a bit confusing.

I hope you're not contemplating suicide LuLu, or else wow , you got trained by that other huy here? can't remember his name, but you need a good extra 45min. just to get through his posts! Have fun kid, just teasing you.

your reply is a bit confusing.

you reply to my reply is a bit more confusing.

I hope you're not contemplating suicide LuLu, or else wow , you got trained by that other huy here? can't remember his name, but you need a good extra 45min. just to get through his posts! Have fun kid, just teasing you.

suicide?
goodness no. as i said before.
cause i figured with the sentence before that, some would think that's what i meant, but no.
i may feel weak, but never have i let anyone have that much control over me.
i know that might sound a bit out of place, because of how i explained my wanting to make him happy, but that's my doing. it's not him "having cotrol over me" that makes me feel this.
this is just something i dont have control over.
feelings.
although i usually do.

I hope you're not contemplating suicide LuLu, or else wow , you got trained by that other huy here? can't remember his name, but you need a good extra 45min. just to get through his posts! Have fun kid, just teasing you.

clearly a copy past thing...and he/she/it did it on all other forums too. reading couple of sentences of that text monstrocity...yawn...one wishes to just close the thread

Its not the advice that he/she/it needs...but to just let go of all the tensions and deal with the problems with HIM and not us.

clearly a copy past thing...and he/she/it did it on all other forums too. reading couple of sentences of that text monstrocity...yawn...one wishes to just close the thread

well, dragon.
monstrocity or not...im just trying to get some opinions.
and after typing all that out there's no way im closing this haha.

sorry to bore you.

Okay, so you want control over something you can't have control over , but he can want to have feelings from one that does not have any control over them, yet want to have those feelings over him ?
--
Okay, do it, go and get him. I think that's the best solution LuLu. Let me know how it goes!

well, dragon.
monstrocity or not...im just trying to get some opinions.
and after typing all that out there's no way im closing this haha.

sorry to bore you.

wow you are actually a real person? :bugeye: And not one of those automatic preachers/spam programs? ... amazing.

well whatever it is, we cant tell you what to do, you find the answer yourself. Love is there between you and the other partner...and the only ones to solve it is you and the other partner.

Okay, so you want control over something you can't have control over , but he can want to have feelings from one that does not have any control over them, yet want to have those feelings over him ?
--
Okay, do it, go and get him. I think that's the best solution LuLu. Let me know how it goes!

ha..if only it were that easy.
miles and miles make that impossible.
as well as money...and having a job that i cant take off from...
i cant take off from life.
ut i worry life will take off without me...if that makes any sense.

ha..if only it were that easy.
miles and miles make that impossible.
as well as money...and having a job that i cant take off from...
i cant take off from life.
ut i worry life will take off without me...if that makes any sense.

stop worrying. It all makes sense. Find another partner. Make love. Its time to change. But mainly decide this all by yourself...forums like this is not for any good to decide whats of love.

wow you are actually a real person? :bugeye: And not one of those automatic preachers/spam programs? ... amazing.

well whatever it is, we cant tell you what to do, you find the answer yourself. Love is there between you and the other partner...and the only ones to solve it is you and the other partner.

haha. why on earth would you think me to be an "automatic preacher/spame program?

thanks for reading dragon, but im not looking for someone to tell me what to do. just...other peoples opinion. it wont sway my decision...for there isnt really a decision to be made at this point and time. all i can do is try to enjoy life. the here and now. it may be hard, because love is something i find to be half of living...there still are other things that make me smile.
again, just looking for opinions. a nice chat.
not necessarily on my dilemma. love in general.

haha. why on earth would you think me to be an "automatic preacher/spame program?

thanks for reading dragon, but im not looking for someone to tell me what to do. just...other peoples opinion. it wont sway my decision...for there isnt really a decision to be made at this point and time. all i can do is try to enjoy life. the here and now. it may be hard, because love is something i find to be half of living...there still are other things that make me smile.
again, just looking for opinions. a nice chat.
not necessarily on my dilemma. love in general.

love sucks. I am still looking for a girl...and noone is around. And Im like always alone. Never had sex. Never had gf. Only had one true friend in life.

Again LuLu, go with your heart , it is at the end of day, with your "gut" , the right thing to follow. Keep the faith!

i'd just like to know if anyone understands.
to be in one place...but feeling for someone so strongely that it takes your breath away....and not being able to show that kind of love to them.
not having them in your presence. not knowing what could have been.

im sure alot of people understand that, but...yea.

not knowing, i think, is why it eats at me so.

love sucks. I am still looking for a girl...and noone is around. And Im like always alone. Never had sex. Never had gf. Only had one true friend in life.

Dragon. really, if you want I will be your "sci-fi" buddy, but no more than that.

Never regret the desicion you make LuLu, only he ones you don't make . Stick with the gut / heart.

i'd just like to know if anyone understands.
to be in one place...but feeling for someone so strongely that it takes your breath away....and not being able to show that kind of love to them.
not having them in your presence. not knowing what could have been.

im sure alot of people understand that, but...yea.

not knowing, i think, is why it eats at me so.

stop thinking about it. Or youll get eaten away, fast.
Think of a....blue poodle.

http://thepoodleanddogblog.typepad.com/the_poodle_and_dog_blog/images/blue_poodle4.jpg

love sucks. I am still looking for a girl...and noone is around. And Im like always alone. Never had sex. Never had gf. Only had one true friend in life.

sex isnt everything though.
im still a virgin. the whole cliched "waiting for marriage" bit.
i hold that as something special and i want to share that with only one.

im not sure if you're religious but i've been told that God wouldnt have put something so deep in our hearts if he didnt mean for us to find it oneday.
the ache for a companion, the desire for love...
time. patience.

im not one to talk though....patience is in no way a virtue of mine.
lamelamelame.

[QUOTE=draqon;1323345]stop thinking about it. Or youll get eaten away, fast.
Think of a....blue poodle.



haha. nice draqon. nice.
i'll try to remember that.

God did put that in our hearts LuLu, but we make it as deep as we want to. Don't let someone else steal it away , remember the right one will agree with you and you with him, and this sort of situation will never happen.

God did put that in our hearts LuLu, but we make it as deep as we want to. Don't let someone else steal it away , remember the right one will agree with you and you with him, and this sort of situation will never happen.


thanks so much for your input timmbucktwo.
i guess i already know the answer, im just afraid of hurting people.
this will not be an easy situation to get out of...the "i love you"'s have been out for awhile. im sure he doesnt even see that my smile filled masks fold at the seems every once in awhile.
aka...im sure he thinks everything is just peachy.
letting him know about all this would come as complete shock...just like last time.
complications of love and life are so exhausting.
somedays i just block everything out.
go through the day in auto-pilot mode. mind blank...not worrying about my worries...
that's nice for awhile, but it all comes back sooner or later.

but again. im not looking for someoen to give me answers.
i know that i'll have to search within myself and figure all this out.
just wanting input, as i said before. opinion.
whatever.

thanks to those that have replied.

but more responses from anyone and everyone would be nice.
im dreading the moment sleep finds me.
maybe if i just dont sleep tomorrow wont actually come just yet.
meaning i wont have to go to work. haha.
wishful thinking.

Good night LuLu! Your dreams will make reality better on the morrow!

Dragon. really, if you want I will be your "sci-fi" buddy, but no more than that.

??? what are you saying that I was moving on you to make you some sort of a girl buddy?? :bugeye: please, thats why I dont have friends in the first place, people understand me wrongly. Well screw them all. I am alone.

I hope not, because i'm not a girl. But I will be your sci-fi buddy if you still please, because it seems to me like you are a good-hearted guy. Nothing more, nothing less.

i sometimes think it easier to be alone.
it is sometimes.
i dont mind solitude.
i dont mind getting the house to myself
[yes i still live at home. im only 18].
the silence is wonderfully breathtaking.
of course other times the silence is terrifying and i seem to have every light in the house on or music blasting haha.

oh come now, draqon.
you must be more optimistic.
about people.
not everyone sucks. haha.
but there are quite a few that do.

i have a feeling that telling my age wasnt wise.
im sure alot of people will do the whole "youre too young to worry about said "dilemma"" or just that im too young and all that hoo-haa.
well..anyway.
this thread seems to be dying down.
lame.

I hope not, because i'm not a girl. But I will be your sci-fi buddy if you still please, because it seems to me like you are a good-hearted guy. Nothing more, nothing less.

exactly. so why did you say that..."I want be anything more than your sci-fi buddy"...like you think that I expect you to be something more??? :shrug: I dont expect anything from anyone.

Typo. I meant I won't be, not I want be.

I don't speak weird black tongue.

i sometimes think it easier to be alone.
it is sometimes.
i dont mind solitude.
i dont mind getting the house to myself
[yes i still live at home. im only 18].
the silence is wonderfully breathtaking.
of course other times the silence is terrifying and i seem to have every light in the house on or music blasting haha.

oh come now, draqon.
you must be more optimistic.
about people.
not everyone sucks. haha.
but there are quite a few that do.

i have a feeling that telling my age wasnt wise.
im sure alot of people will do the whole "youre too young to worry about said "dilemma"" or just that im too young and all that hoo-haa.
well..anyway.
this thread seems to be dying down.
lame.

Seriously after 6k posts I came to conclusion not to trust anyone, because all these "I am 18, female, and from Cali" stuff...is plain bluff...its a guy, 49, and somewhere in detroit ready to cut the throat of anyone around.

Oh and about the optimism of mine, yeah I am optimistic allright, that I will get to live another year or so without screwing up my life or anyone else in my family dying on me without me knowing it.

WOW Dragon, you're no longer a sffom , (sci-fi freind of mine) you weirdo!

WOW Dragon, you're no longer a sffom , (sci-fi freind of mine) you weirdo!

thanks. :)

Oh and about the optimism of mine, yeah I am optimistic allright, that I will get to live another year or so without screwing up my life or anyone else in my family dying on me without me knowing it.

That's kind of dak, Drag. Why think of those thoughts???

Seriously after 6k posts I came to conclusion not to trust anyone, because all these "I am 18, female, and from Cali" stuff...is plain bluff...its a guy, 49, and somewhere in detroit ready to cut the throat of anyone around.

ahaha.
well im not really throwing out the whole "hey im 18, female, oo-la-la" hoo haa. just merely stating such since saying "home to myself" made it sound like i have kids or something. or atleast i thought so....which isnt a bad thing, just wanted to make it a bit clearer.

and im promise im not a guy...or 49..and i dont live in detroit.
nor do i cut throats.
except of course when im being a ninja. there are casualties every once in awhile.
bahaha. i joke.
but anyways. nice chatting and thanks for the responses draqon and timm.

cheers.
tis sleep time for me. i can barely keep my eyes open.

cheers.
tis sleep time for me. i can barely keep my eyes open.

well sleep than and dream of me. I am real hottie, real strong, 6 foot 3 in, I got muscles all over me and I love princesses...I carry them around on my arms and we ice skate, dancing to your favorite music. sleep now.

Sweet dreams LuLu, tomorow is going to be a better day!

Drags, i'm falling asleep as we sonverse. Sleep welllll.......

Drags, i'm falling asleep as we sonverse. Sleep welllll.......

no...thats for Lulu...she said she was 18, female, and a hottie from some real hot place.

Good night to you too Dragan, may we have a better day tomorrow!

sorry, Dragon.

sorry, Dragon.

yeah...sorry there...I was rude. :rolleyes:

bahaha that's quite a sight to picture.
some big burly man iceskating and carrying princesses.

thanks timm. tomorrow is def going to be better.
it's getting closer and closer to payday! ha.

goodnight all.
cheers.

haha i said no such thing.

but really, im gonig now.
you guys are hilarious.

goooodnight!