an Essex girl has a car crash and an ambulance arrives.the paramedic asks 'how many fingers have i got up?'the girl replies- oh no i think im paralised too.
An Essex girls' favourite wine? "You never take me shopping" (Admittedly an aural rather than visual joke).
Why do Essex girls like BMWs? It's the only car they can spell. (VW would be easier, but, WTF, it's a joke).
How do blondes turn on the light in the morning? By opening the car door. What do blondes say after sex? Are you guys all on the same team? What do blondes and turtles have in common? When they are on their backs, they're fucked. What do blondes use panties for? Ankle warmers If you threw a blond and a brunette out of an airplane which would hit the ground first? The brunette because the blond would stop and ask for directions.
There was the "true" story about the blonde/ Essex girl that went to the doctor because she was putting weight on very rapidly. The first thing the doc said was "Do you have an active sex life?". "No" "okay, we'll run some tests" pause "You're pregnant. I thought you said you didn't have an active sex life?" "I don't. I just lay there and let my boyfriend get on with it"
So funny. Theres a Jew joke too. How do you fit 5 Nazis and 5 Jews in a WV Beetle? 3 Nazis in the back 2 Nazis in the front, and 5 Jews in the ashtray.