The Past

The Past is a moment or period of time which perpetually follows The Present and The Future.

In observing the past, one of the most notable characteristics about everything from it is the fact that it's all old to some degree. Moments that have recently occurred are only slightly old, while those that happened a long time ago are extremely old. Everyone wears really old-fashioned, out-of-date clothing in The Past and they're always complaining about how poor they all are, it's really unpleasant. All of the brilliant gadgets we've got nowadays were rubbish in The Past, either because they didn't exist at all or, if they did, they were usually really buggy and poorly-designed, with really awful, garish colour schemes that look really funny in pictures. This is probably the easiest way of recognising The Past: it always looks really funny in pictures.

Curmudgeons who favor the past tend to dislike the present and the future.

Trivia

• Scientists have done extensive research into the past by studying the composition of langolier turds.