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A Republican is a member of the United States' Republican Party, first emerging in the mid 1800s as an anti-slavery movement. Success of candidate Abraham Lincoln in the Presidential election of 1860 sparked the American Civil War. The party has since moved on to other issues.

Republicans today are characterized by typically right-wing, conservative beliefs including but by no means limited to pro-business policies, lack of dependence on the government in daily life, religious convictions, and desire to outlaw what they deem socially undesirable actions.

Republican party in the USA

  • A republican is either a politician belonging to the Republican party in the USA or an American supporting this party, usually blindly.
  • Someone who supports the rights of the unborn, but won't fund stem cell research that could help the millions who are already here.
  • The first one to protest abortion rights, and the first one willing to take a life through capital punishment. Someone who espouses personal freedom, and then tries to pass constitutional amendments to restrict it.
  • Someone threatened by government surplus but unfazed by goverment deficits.
  • Someone who is pro-business but anti-citizen.
  • Someone who wants to take away the helping hand, after he's made it to safety.
  • Someone who holds a cross in one hand and tries to burn it with the other.

This is an individual who believes that the white male Christian God should be the only object of worship on the planet, that power and wealth should remain in the hands of 1% of the world's population while the remaining 99% starve, that health care should be privatized so the poor can't afford basic medication, that a victim living on welfare should be forced to care for a baby she didn't even ask for, and that America is the only real country on Earth while all those other countries they read about are just fakes invented by communists...oh wait, it's terrorists now, isn't it?[1]

It is illegal to be a republican in the USA[2].

We can all hope that the standard of education in America improves to the point where a Republican can no longer be voted into office.


  • Syzygys is a logical republican [3]. This could possibly be the first one ever and sciforums has the scoop.
  • Republicans are, apparently, the cause of all evil in the world. Of course this isnt true, there are many evil things not caused by Republicans (such as burning of witches during the inquisition, although they would like to firebomb terrorists now) , but their only contribution to the World is evil.
  • Most republicans drink their own pee.