Ninja
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The Ninja is a warrior from Japan who is trained in Ninjitsu. They are typically hired for espionage, sabotage, and assassinations.
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Etymology
The name Ninja is actually a combination of two words from Japan's Nintendo Period (420-555 AD)
The first is NIN meaning "to kick ass". Oddly enough, in pirate reality, it is derived from ninny; a fool or simpleton.
The second is JA meaning "without being seen or heard". In pirate reality, it means 'yes', as in 'Ninny-Yes!', 'yes I am a big ninny'.
History
Anthropologists have estimated the first ninja appeared around 500,000 BCE (during the Pleistocene). This was verified by the numerous petrified skeletal remains of homo erectus who were found with injuries that researchers concluded could have only been caused by ninja. One example is the skeleton of an adult male Sinanthropus pekinensis who was located in a cave in Beijing with a primitive shuriken embedded in it's cranium. There was also a set of stone Nunchaku found in a separate cave in the same region. To date, nobody has ever successfully located the actual remains of any prehistoric ninja. It's presumed that they must have been really sneaky.
The first living ninja were discovered around the 15th century feudal period in Japan, mostly in the regions of Iga and Koga . The clans of local daimyo who controlled small regions of land were getting tired of fighting fair, so they secretly started cheating. Since Bushido, the Samurai Code, forbade fighting dirty, a daimyo occasionally hired ninjas.
Historical gay ninja
As mentioned in the historically accurate ninja vs pirate compendium, the gay ninja were a highly specialized clan of homosexual warriors who existed as early as the 5th century flay-meng-gay Dynasty. Where the traditional ninja were trained in the counter-cultural fighting art of ninjitsu, the gay ninja were practitioners in a counter-cultural form of feng shui. This deadly form of interior decorating involved applying fatal makeovers to an opponent's living space.
Footnote: The most famous and brutal assassination occurred during the year 1583 BCE. A warlord named Mao Hyung hired gay ninja to infiltrate the palace of Tsu gi (A wealthy daimyo who owned land in an adjacent territory). Tsu and 12 samurai were found decapitated in his palace living room next to the worst wallpaper/curtain arrangement in recorded history.
Footnote: Gay ninja are uncommon as most ninja prefer hot babes. In fact, some ninja are hot babes themselves (pirates argue that no reference for this was found, nor will it ever be found since they believe this footnote is entirely fictional).
Ninja Clothing
There is no evidence that ninja limit themselves to all-black suits, and split toe boots (jika-tabi). This is mainly attributed to the fact that ninja never leave any witnesses.
Ninjas and file sharing
One of the coldest - most heinous deeds all ninja are infamous for is the sharing of cracked software, and digitally encoded song files. In the early 2600k baud days, It was originally suggested that people who participate in this activity be referred to as "software ninjas" due to their proclivity for stealth, secrecy, and being underground (in their mother's basements). Fortunately, the term "software pirate" won the war of popular culture, and the true software ninjas continued to download in secret while the attention was shifted toward pirates.
Trivia
Ninjas are cooler than pirates
