James R

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James R is one of SciForums's administrators and one of the moderators of Physics & Math and Religion.

http://sciforums.com/avatars/avatar4402_5.gif
James R
"Evil administrator"
Gender: Male
Location: Victoria, Australia
Occupation: SciForums moderator

Physical Characteristics

Despite his avatar, James R does not, in fact, resemble Gromit in real life. His actually appearance is somewhat of a mystery, however, as the most recent photo anybody has managed to dig up dates from around 1997.

It can now be revealed, however, that he does have more than the average number of arms.

History

James R landed at SciForums in 2001, after becoming somewhat disenchanted with another internet forum that shall remain nameless, but it's initials are [***...] [connection lost]. (Rumours say it might have been the Pokemon forum.)

He soon set about building an empire, progressively managing to get himself appointed first as a moderator and later as a supermoderator. He has yet to work out how to proceed from this lofty position to a position where he can, in fact, rule the whole world as a (mostly) benevolent dictator.

Controversy and Scandal

James R has been widely criticised for his biased moderation, but this has been almost exclusively by people who have themselves been subject to his moderation as a result of their own poorly-judged actions. Most of the time, most of the sciforums members seem to think he does a reasonable job. [citation needed]

He occasionally attracts the ire of people who disagree with his views on political, religious, moral, scientific and other matters, despite being a tolerant and enlightened thinker. His current signature (March 2007) on Sciforums reads:

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." - Aristotle.

The Death of James R

James R - eternal straight-man and decent, upright fellow - just couldn't take his precious, precious site being saturated with drivel; its arguments constantly derailed by a pack of gibbering would-be comedians, woo-woos and Nickelodeon, its informational content reduced to debates on whether Star Trek or Star Wars was:

a) More realistic

b) Tougher

c) Less helpful to the social life of its fans.

The site - that serene, striking concept with its straight lines and pure, unadulterated angles of discussion - well, that was gone now. Deader than a hammer hammered with another dead hammer. There was nothing left to save. The locusts had moved on.

But they won't get my Encyclopedia too, he probably thought.

Probably rising up and probably screaming "You can't have the Encyclopedia! She's mine, all mine!" - which probably startled the people in the nearby cubicles - he probably frantically registered a new id. Now he was ready. Arthur had his Caledfdwch; a few lines of falsified code and the remnants of his soul.

http://sitemaker.umich.edu/mc12/files/agent20smith.jpg
Special Moderators James R (front), Athelwulf, (left),

and Absane (right), shake their heads at the escape of SciForums trolls Nickelodeon, and Spuriousmonkey

His first target was that worst of those drivel-posters and argument derailers. "I'll get that GeoffP, and his little droogs too!" he probably cried, and then he probably laughed maniacally, but probably in kind of a cracked falsetto, like a witch or maybe a little girl.

But in his zealousness he made a fatal mistake: not destroying all the previous versions of the article.

"No!" he probably cried when he saw it was all back again, again startling all the people in the cubicles around his, and the mail boy. Worse yet, he realized in his overlordshipness that the bastard had saved everything to his hard drive! "NOOOOOOOoooooooooo!" came the mournful wail. Never again would his site be Perfect, like she had been before they came. Before they destroyed everything. Never again would she be Beautiful, with reasoned arguments and friendly debate and jocular hail-fellow structure.

Never again would she be - Clean.

There was only one thing left to do. Eyes maddened and reddened with the compounded weeks of helplessly watching the slow, relentless degradation of his precious Encyclopedia, he climbed on top of his desk and leaped the entire 2 ft to the cruel, cruel shallow imitation shag carpeting below.

Hobbies

Rumour has it that James R's hobbies include underwater basket weaving, solo trombone composition, topiary, origami and blindfold table tennis. Some people have occasionally experienced doubts about the accuracy of these rumours, but the issue remains unresolved.

Other hobbies may include irony and occasional egotism.

Likes/Dislikes

He despises eating meat and anyone who eats meat, a true follower of Vegetarianism, indeed. In fact his devotion to vegetarianism is so zealously held that whenever he encounters persons who eat meat, he eats them.

He dislikes spuriousmonkey with a vengeance.

Wild Rumours

There has been some speculation that James R is in fact James Randi, however he has denied this. [1]

JamesR may be an Orthodox Myuunitarian. Or not. Whichever.

James R may very well be the owner of the internet.



Trivia

[*] For some reason everybody is afraid of James R, except George W. Bush

[*] James R was the second shooter on the grassy knoll

[*] James R seems the very essence of the dignified above-board contributor; but secretly he plots his cold, cold revenge

[*] James R's desk is two feet high, but he has an aversion to faux-shag carpeting

[*] Also known as the great political vandal

[*] James R is Lawyer by profession, or so the rumour has it