Iraq

Iraq was liberated by the US in March 2003, and in doing so stabilized the Middle East. A new wave of hope and admiration toward the USA rose up and enveloped the Muslim World. Iraq is now a beacon of peace and prosperity. A statue of George W Bush is to be erected in Baghdad. The ungrateful Iraqis didn't show any gratitude, so in response the USA sent in a surge of Peace and Freedom troops.

War with Iran

Saddam tried to liberate the oppressed people of Iran and was forced by Iran to use chemical weapons to do so. The international community failed to provide Iraq with nuclear weapons needed to liberate Iran.

War with Kuwait

Saddam tried to liberate the oppressed people of Kuwait from their fanatical dictators. A coalition of evil repulsed Iraqi freedom fighters from Kuwait and passed an UN resolution that ultimately killed 500,000 innocent Iraqi children.

War with the USA

The war with the USA lasted around 45 seconds.

Reasons for invading Iraq

• Because: Saddam has WMD.
• No wait: Saddam killed his own people
• No wait: Saddam had connections with Al Queda
• No wait: Violation of the UN Cease Fire Agreement
• No wait: Better to fight them there than here.
• No wait: some other bullshit reason.

Civil War

There wasn't a civil war in Iraq until it became impossible to deny it any longer.

How to pronounce Iraq?

Pronouncing Iraq is not easy[1], but as long as you can aim a missile at some hospital you don't need to worry too much about that if you joined the US Army.