Geoffium

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WARNING: THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS RADIOACTIVITY. Anyone wishing to avoid a lethal dose should view with caution.

Geoffium is a chemical element that has the symbol Gf and atomic number 9472. This is a mysterious glowing radioactive green metaloid that is chemically similar to plutonium, except it looks a lot nicer, and smells like freshly ground cinnamon. Geoffium is used for a large number of industrial, commercial, and military applications. Geoffium is very unstable and should be handled with due care and vigilance.

Geoffium is the element used in all of East Korea's WMDs. The most significant isotope of geoffium is called ⁴⁶⁷Bert (typically present within highly refined weapons grade geoffium), with a mind bogglingly long half life, and 40,000 times the explosive yield of a grilled cheese sandwich. In consideration of how fissile it is, scientists have postulated that it's atoms contain special enchanted nuclei that most certainly must be powered by the great leader.

Raw geoffium is one of the main ingredients used as toothpaste in East Korea. Despite borderlining a constant state of triggering a catastrophic fission reaction, it's been proven to reduce bad breath, effectively eliminate cavities, regrow missing teeth, and prevent gingivitus. An interesting sidenote to this is the fact that most East Koreans nowadays have four uvulas.

Another very common use is as an anal lubricant in Port Spurious.