Current events

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<FONT="Arial Bold">Add new stuff to the top of this list:</FONT> Sheep spread disease
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Sciforums Daily Soap Diary

  • May 15 2011: A long-running and hard-fought campaign in the Semi-annual "Bestest Member of SciForums Semi-contest"[1] is won unanimously by GeoffP. He discounted any vote against him as ineligible by way of bias. We have a new leader. Never mind, we probably deserve him.
  • December 8 2010: collateral damages from wikileaks spill over into sciforums. Web Censorship 2.0 is introduced as the only logical recourse to defend freedom of expression. We are reminded that people may read the forums and get upset. Their feelings must be protected by defending supremacist ideologies. S.A.M. receives a one day ban for refusing to change her user title - the ban is mysteriously lifted after a few minutes
  • November 12 2010: The SciForums encyclopedia has its busiest month yet, with over 12 billion new entries! - domesticated om 16:00, 11 November 2010 (EST)
  • September 6 2010: Meaningless drivel ratio at SciForums increases by 80%
  • August 23 2010: Sharp decline in the number of "nuisance members" over the past couple of months.
  • June 23 2010: has now been permabanned and Sandy received a month long ban. The 'meaningless drivel' ratio at SciForums drops an amazing 5%.
  • May 10 2010: is handed out a temp ban a while back for liking fat girls too much, Mexicans are mean, genomic analysis indicates just how much cooler Neanderthals were than anyone and what if God was evil or could be proven or could be proven evil? Jack_ attacks the theory of evolution and is buried under a pile of thrashing evolutionists. Shadow wants a chat room to tell more people about how great Tunisia is and has personal issues. So, nothing new there. Anyone want to buy Nokia locked or unlocked gsm cell phones veyr cheap go for no money down!11! 10:45, 10 May 2010 (EDT)
  • April 20 2010: Historians, anthropologists, scholars, and concerned Myuunitarians are currently involved in a discussion on how to define the 2010 epoch of SciForums. So far, a couple of noteworthy traits are a sudden increase in mentally unstable characters with suicidal tendencies, and a plague-like epidemic of cell phone advertisements. domesticated om 06:27, 20 April 2010 (EDT)
  • April 16 2010: All is quiet in the Science encyclopedia......almost too quiet.
  • April 05 2010: I'm deleting most of the stupid articles/categories I've written in an effort to submit real information from this point forward. Factual information is covered legitimately by Wikipedia, and ridiculous covered by Uncyclopedia, so my entries here are worthless.domesticated om 10:14, 5 April 2010 (EDT)
  • March 01 2010: have you ever seen the behavior of fish when an angler drops the lure in the water? Every time a certain poster posts, that is the precise behavior that's demonstrated -- a sort of "knee jerk" reaction to the flash in the water. In this case, the "bait"...erm...."candy" being used is overt stupidity.
This user will go away assuming everybody decided to put them on ignore, but it will never happen.
  • Feb 12/2009: This is Sparta!: After a long hiatus due to something called "the real world", Current events returns to a cacophony of yawns. Well, off.

Sam, exiled to wander the desert of the rest of the internet for 30 days, goeth and returneth only just in time to comment on the thread about why she was banned. No sign yet of Baron Max, but the sky is darkening.

A new round of evolution deniers makes steady inroads during an offensive in Human Science which is promptly broken up by Dwyddwyr (spoken however you feel it, so long as there's enough phlegm in your throat) by simply squashing it. Geoff paints half his face blue and continues to agitate for any revolution which would see him catapulted to a position of power.

Scifes challenges iceaura, Spidergoat and Richard Dawkins to a no-holds-barred Aussie rules broken bottle fight about evolution, and has to wait until Tuesday. Prediction: no one's mind will be changed about anything except how many personal insults can be concealed in a single formal debate thread. (My call: 15.)

And also are solved the following issues: American healthcare, gravity drive propulsion and the identity of the Dartmoor Beast (giant Hyrax).

No one creates or comments on anything to do with Palestine or Israel or Iran. Whew! people join?  ??

Thread of the Month:

  • Dec 15/2009:More truly revolutionary sceince from the crackpots. Electrons are made out of blue, gravity is concentrated Monday Mornings and Einsteine (spelling always optional) GOT IT WRONG. Okay?

In other news S.A.M. has threatened to go on a beheading jihad, (or, for those us not falling into the category of "reality challenged", she actually hasn't), and cats (with or without heads) invaded North Vietnam using white phosphorous.

  • Dec 8/2009: Christmas is coming? Who wants a donation to charity?

Can Atheists and Mystics work together? Climatologists and Fox broadcasters? How about hobbits and elves? God features heavily on the roster this week...and last week...week before that... well, it's been on for a while. But this week: no zombies. An actually interesting debate about the role of random and non-random variation in the prediction of the spatial characteristics of all matter thankfully devolves into dismissals and name-calling. And, again, God. Because: you know. Just don't say it.

And no one so far claims to have psychic powers except Ophiolite...but I suppose you all knew that.

  • Nov 24/2009: Hot off the Presses: What's new in this week in forum soap? Glad you didn't ask. It's time for WAR!! This is not Sparta!

Geoff awakes from a dream where he didn't post on SciForums for three whole days and found out he was banned; Sam is still slumbering. Dwyddyr (and I don't care how he spells his login) battles FireFox in a no-holds-barred struggle to view idoits on youtube; Madant takes on the "climate change industry" and the curious discussion over whether spanking makes one dumber spirals down to the personal experience of SciForumners as test cases. (No one admits to being dumber for being paddled. Suspicious.)

Homeopathy - god bless ye and all your leeches, Nance - rears its ugly head again. Frankly, the whole argument would probably be more effective if each homeopathy post were distilled down to a smaller post, and then from that to an even smaller post with less letters. The final homeopost would have a couple 'really critical' letters that would interact with the letters of the other posts to spell chakra. No lie.

Lots of God questions: what if He could be proven? What if He's controlling evolution? What if there is no evolution? What if my internet goes down today? Who will I annoy then? Scary.

The societal lessons of the...well, the 'Stargate Universe' are again debated. What is the philosophical meaning of Ben Browder and Claudia Black transferring from 'Farscape'? String closes down the Israel vs. Palestine thread. I'm sure it will be the last one on the subject. And will we ever know for sure if Scientists and Mystics could defeat a zombie invasion?

  • The almost neo-electoral process (described gently as a junta by superstring01) completes and prompts trots out the unimaginable for "New Mod" of Freigedanken: another Dutchman. Unable to make the proper associations, the crowd cheers. Someone else wins the coveted position of dusting off the Fine Arts subforum now and again, thwarting the efforts of another would-be dictator. Well, that's democracy for you, and also juntaism. Enmos is grudgingly congratulated, even as his eventual downfall is immediately begun to be plotted.

Sam ploughs forward in the usual vein, pulling a rope-a-dope on the major issues (can't say it doesn't work) while Bishadi locates his inner navel and Hype mystifies all with modern philosophies on Iraq and Americanism. Draq claims Onstar can see under his tin foil hat and the Riddle of Mutation is again attacked in the ongoing effort to find God there. Flying rays, Stargate and two obscure countries in the Middle East, oh my. [Nov 1, 2009]

  • The usual slog. But wait! What's this? Near-elections are announced for the positions of Free Thoughts and some other sub-forum. ...fine, fine: Arts and Crap, ok? Happy now?

Anyway: GeoffP and some other candidates announce their near-electability and gently bickering electionism breaks out in this stunning lean towards a democratic process. Well, I say democracy: if democracy were subject to post-approval by a junta of giggling madmen. Still, junta gently onward. GeoffP illustrates his superior candidacy and a well-laid out and irrefutable platform; the rest of the lot prattle on about fairness and good judgement. Whatever. Mike47 returns from the early grave, someone is banned for 92 days (sockie, sockie) and Buff and Sam batter each other. Condition: Orange.

  • A new trend strikes SciForums: Star Trek vs. {fill in the appropriate hypothetical civilization). Nerdlings eagerly pick up their cardboard broadswords and battle to the first ragged inhaler puff for the honour of entire universes that don't actually exist. I suppose someone somewhere is proud.

The main battles now crystallize around whether Iran has nukes, or should have nukes, or are trying to have nukes, or whether anyone should have nukes, or ahh I can't care any more. Everyone nuke everyone then. The other one is a rehash of exactly how many people - principally Jews but in theory everyone - died in the Holocaust. I'm certain the real issue is whether or not it was 6,000,000 or 6,000,001. And mods battle it out over whether or not Charlie Rangel was different to every other politician on the face of the earth. It's been said before, but while politicians can dodge taxes, none of them seems deft enough to avoid the office skank. And, Egypt has officially banned the hymen. Too late, boys: experience counts, and your wives will have had it by the time they get to you.

  • The dogs bark and the forum rolls on. "Mike47" (natch) cries "Ban me, you big meanie! I double dog dare you!" and is promptly gunned down, to no one's real surprise. Oh: and has no one mentioned that one_raven came back?? Having put aside his wife in a convent for electro-gothic Nuns, he returns bearing no gifts and little trolling. The sock puppet incarnation of a heinous ex-Forumer...Forumser?...SciForist?...troll was also banned at last, having run his time out. My heart has joined the thousand, for my friend stopped running today. At least until the next round of this devious game of cat-and-monkey. Who will throw the poo first? Sandy also makes a Lazarene play, much to the delight/horror of many on both sides of every conceivable politicized opinion...which appears to be all opinions. Who next shall return from beyond the grave? Xev? Genji? The chimp who used to post Photoshopped pictures of leaning people? What will you do, when next the dead arise? (But at least the hit count would be up.) [Sept 30/2009]
  • Two days into the Return of the Living Banned and the Middle Eastern content is still below 10% on a post-by-post basis. <bang bang> What's going on? Is this thing broken? <bang bang> [Sept 28/2009]
  • Geoff is banned for three days, but Sniffy observes that his crypt is empty. He rises again within a single day. Or else Fraggle relents. Who cares about the details, anyway? [Sept 26/2009]
  • Sam returns, and the outraged poo-throwing begins to slide steadily away from ACORN, Obamanoia/Obanomics/Obamophilia towards the alternate axis of inevitably pointless contention known as the Middle East. Smell the fresh air of change. It's like coming home. If home were made of arguments constructed of dung. [Sept 25/2009]
  • The average daily number of posts on Israel/the Middle East/Americans/Lizardoids drops from dozens to one or two. The silence is deafening. Instead, ACORN appears to be the new rallying point for complete disrespect and rageposting. [Sept 15/2009]
  • The Encyclopedia is under attack by spiders and wallbots. No one notices; possibly because of difficulties in differentiating the spam from the other spam. [Sept 11/2009]
  • S.A.M. is banned for trolling (14 days), and a Google spike for "how to take a screenshot in Windows" occurs. [Sept 11/2009]
  • Domesticated Om uses his newly granted Wiki admin powers to finally eliminate the remaining Spuriousforum-logos from the Science encyclopedia (sigh). If you need me to delete or protect a page. Let me know in my user_talk page. Domesticated om 18:41, 26 October 2008 (EDT)
  • SciForums continues to be flooded with shoe-oriented spam. Domesticated om
  • SciForums encyclopedia is being frequented by yet another bot Domesticated om 08:48, 23 April 2009 (EDT)

In Other News...

  • Nothing interesting happened, or ever will. Now get back up to the soap diary.