Baseball

Baseball is an alleged 'sport' played and watched exclusively in America by Americans. It's identical in almost every way to the British game of 'rounders', played and loved by schoolgirls in educational establishments everywhere up and down that benighted island. Americans have taken this schoolgirl pastime and turned it into a national 'sport'.

The dubious annual highlight of the baseball season is the 'World Series' - a competition that only Americans are allowed to enter. Americans typically fail to spot the irony in this. A game of baseball usually begins with someone tossing the ball at some bloke who then whacks it into the stands to loud cheering.

Like all American sports this brief, opening encounter is usually followed by three and a half hours of advertising, giving the captivated audience plenty of time to guzzle endless gallons of Coke, devour innumerable burgers, hotdogs and pizzas, and then fall asleep.

No-one has ever seen more than two and a half minutes of a baseball game while remaining sober.

Pesäpallo

In Finland baseball is called Pesäpallo. Some Brilliant Fin came up with the idea to change the rules of baseball to truly show how silly the game is. Instead of a pitcher throwing the ball from a distance the pitcher is standing next to the plate and throws the ball up towards God. Also the dress code is different and players are required to wear a silly bloated helmet.